Beyond the Law Page #2

---

- You can forget the jokes. I have no sense of humor.

I never have.

I tried several times to develop one.

Even took a workshop. But it didn't work.

- Put quite simply, nothing is funny to me.

- That's funny.

Here's a list of all the bars and

known hangouts for the drug trade.

I want you to make yourself seen,

spend some money.

Do whatever's necessary to get people

to trust you, short of committing a felony.

Do that and the whole operation

goes out the window.

- Now before we go on, there's something

I have to tell you... - What ?

My predecessor sent two undercover

officers into Gila county last year.

Both disappeared without a trace.

Like they were swallowed up

by some black hole.

It's important you know

what you're up against.

[ "Hell's Kitchen" by Asphalt Ballet ]

[ laughing ]

[ laughing ]

Name's Virgil.

Gonna get sh*t-faced if you

keep drinkin' that fast, man.

I hope so.

You know, I couldn't help but notice

how much money you're draggin' around.

I need it to buy dope.

Oh. You know, I figured you

for a dealer right off.

Listen--

Wrong, Virgil.

I'm an undercover

narcotics officer.

[ laughing ]

Get the f*** outta here.

You're a narc ?

Well, if you was narc--

And I'm not sayin'

that you are--

But, uh, if you was, you could get your ass

dusted for talkin' about it.

Well, what the hell's the difference ?

I'm a bust.

Nobody will sell dope

to me anyways.

That's because of the way you look, man.

I mean, look at you.

If you came up to me and tried to buy dope,

I'd peg you for a narc.

A minute ago, you said I looked like a dealer.

F*** you, a**hole.

I was trying to be polite.

If I was a narc and I wanted to get

into some serious drugs,

I'd hang with bikers.

Bikers control all the heavy dope.

I don't know sh*t about bikers.

I could teach ya. Well, I ain't like

a member or nothin',

but, uh, they need me.

I work on their bikes.

There ain't nothin' about a scooter

ahat I can't fix.

Hell, when I got through with you,

you'd walk, talk and sh*t like a biker.

Why the hell would you do that ?

Listen, man.

Now this is strictly confidential.

- But I've always wanted to be cop.

- Come on.

No, really, man.

You know what I mean ?

Carrying a f***in' gun, arrestin' people.

That's power. Hell, you could even

make me your deputy or somethin'.

Couldn't you ?

- Raise your right hand, Virgil.

- I do.

Not yet, a**hole.

- We got a whole ceremony to do first.

- Sorry, man.

Do you solemnly swear

to take all of my orders...

never shoot anybody

or carry a gun ?

- Wait a minute, man.

- No guns, Virgil.

Any shooting needs done,

I'll handle it.

I'm the narc.

You're the f***in' deputy.

That ain't fair ! How can I arrest anybody

if I haven't got a gun ?

- Do you swear or not ?

- Yeah, I-I-I guess so, man.

Good.

Then it is with all

the power in my office...

that I now pronounce you...

deputy sheriff.

Oh, man.

This is somethin'.

This is really somethin'.

- Are you sure you're a cop ?

- Where do we start ?

Modest beginnings start

with a single blow of a horn, man.

Now, when you get through

with this thing,

every dick-head in the world's

gonna wanna own it.

Do you know anything at all about

the internal combustion engine ?

[ "Working On It " by Chris Rea ]

Get working

Work, work, work

I got eight little fingers

And only two thumbs

But they lead me at least

While I get the job done

Work, work, work

Can't ya see I'm workin'

Work, work, work

Ooh, ooh

I'm workin' on it

Yeah

Ooh-ooh

I'm workin' on it

Work, work, work

Well, they're comin' from above me

And they're comin' from below

Work, work, work

Yeah, they're in there right behind me

Everywhere that I go

Work, work, work

And my buddy, he's screamin'

Down the telephone line

He say gimme, gimme, gimme

Say I ain't got the time

Ooh, ooh

Oh, no

Can't ya see I'm workin' on it

Work, work, work

Ooh, ooh

I'm workin' on it

Yeah, yeah

Go tell 'em

[ Virgil ] There's all different

kind of bikers, man.

And then there are Jackals.

Jackals is the f***in' cream.

You don't gotta be a rocket scientist

to get close to 'em.

They only got a few rules.

But most important is stompin'.

Stompin' means somebody hits a Jackal,

he's gonna have 30 of 'em on his neck.

A dude asks a Jackal

to get outta his house,

he's gonna come back with an army

and stomp the bastard to death.

I know this town

Has got the best of me

I'll tell you why

Well, they're comin' from above me

And they're comin' from below

They're in there right behind me

Everywhere that I go

My buddy's screamin'

Down the telephone line

He said gimme, gimme, gimme

Said I ain't got the time no

Ooh, ooh

Oh, no

Can't ya see

I'm workin'

Yeah

Ooh, ooh

I'm workin' on it

[ Virgil ] That is one hell of a scooter, dude.

Climb on the f***er.

See if it works.

- Really ?

- Really.

[ engine sputtering ]

[ engine hisses, stops ]

[ engine revving ]

Yes !

[ engine revving ]

[ laughing ]

Ta-da ! These are

your f***in' colors, man.

- My f***in' what ?

- Your colors.

A biker will fight ya to the death

if you rat-f*** his colors.

It's the name of your club.

You are a member of the Pythons.

I made it up myself,

but who the f***'s gonna know ?

[ chuckles ]

Come here, come here.

You see this little one percent ?

This means that you are a member...

of the totally zoned-out, f***ed-up,

bad-ass, outlaw motorcycle brotherhood.

And this little space right here.

That's where your name goes.

Now what do you wanna call yourself ?

Bikers all got nicknames.

How about if I call myself... Sid ?

- Sid. Sidney ?

- Yeah. Sid.

- Not f***in' Sidney. Sid.

- Sid. Sid. Sid.

I like it. It's great. F***in' great.

Here. Put it on. Try it on.

- Nope, nope.

- What ?

Well, you're not dirty enough.

You're not crazy enough.

I'm gettin' really f***in' tired

of hearing you say that.

Yeah ? Well, being tired

is a lot better than being dead, man.

I just made that up too.

[ laughing ]

[ dog barking ]

What the f***--

[ laughing ]

Now you're dirty enough.

Meet me tomorrow at Spanish Wells and

we'll see how f***in' crazy you are.

[ laughing ]

You son of a b*tch.

[ man on police radio ]

Base to 528.

[ dispatcher ]

All units, '89 red cadillac seville,

partial plate I.D. number 7-2-6,

just reported stolen from Denny's

parking lot in Linkville.

Hello, dude. What do ya think

of my new wheels ?

You ugly prick !

You just stole this car from the

Denny's parking lot in Linkville.

How in the f***

did you know that, man ?

- You've involved me in a felony, Virgil.

- I was getting bored.

- Bein' a cop ain't everything I thought

it was gonna be. - What's that in your belt ?

- Nothing.

- Bullshit ! It's a pistol. You swore no guns.

Now take it out

and put it on the seat.

- I was just tryin' to have a little fun, man.

- Fun ?

I oughta kill you !

Now follow me back down the hill...

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes