Big Business Page #8

- Shut up.

- We must be in some kind of...

- Now, there's got to be

an explanation for this.

- Parallel universe.

- That is the dumbest damn thing

I ever heard.

- P-Please don't shout.

Oh, you're such a hick.

There's UFO written all over this thing.

- They're probably relatives.

- Don't you ever talk to me that way.

- Relatives? How can they be?

Listen to them.

They're imbeciles.

- Now, listen...

- Now, listen,

I think what we oughta do...

- I think the thing we...

- Please stay calm.

- I really think that...

- No, you're not any more in charge!

- Be quiet.

- We're going to go clockwise,

starting with me.

- Well, how come you?

My God, it's me

with a bad haircut.

Bad? I paid 12 bucks for this.

I am going to kick your ass.

- I like it. I think that...

I think if we could all...

- Stop it!

All right, who are you,

and where the hell do you come from?

- Rosie, Rosie, my sister Rosie.

- I love it. Oh... Oh, my goodness me.

- We gotta figure out who's who here.

- Rosie.

- Boy, I sure hope I'm still me.

Rose, there's a chance

I could be her.

- Oh, God.

- Oh, isn't she divine?

- I know for a fact I'm not me. Boo-hoo.

- Damn, l-l-I just gotta be me.

- Rosie, wait for me.

- I can't wait to know!

- And then you went where?

- I work nights at the factory.

I make real nice spare parts.

- How many?

- Six brothers.

- And four sisters.

Sadie, ten.

You make eleven!

- You sure do.

- Oh! I can't believe it.

- Oh! Good morning.

- Good morning.

- Morning!

- Morning!

- Yes.

Hold it. I know who it was.

It was that rickety old Nanny Lewis.

She couldn't see worth a darn.

She spent her last days

puttin' diapers on chairs.

All my life I felt like I was

out of place, like I didn't belong.

And I didn't.

I hate my job.

I hate shopping.

I hate New York in June.

- How about you?

- I hate grits.

And I hate men who smell

like beer and bean dip.

And I hate makin' love

in the back of recreational vehicles.

- Am I rich now?

- We're all rich.

Oh, to hell with that.

We got a meetin' to get to.

We're all on the same side,

now that we're sisters.

- Right.

- Right?

Of course.

The meeting's already started.

Now, we can't all of us go in there

because the spectacle of all this

seems to upset people.

So, Rose, you take them

sightseeing.

I'll go in, call off the sale, and then

we'll all go to Elaine's for lunch.

- Elaine's?

- Elaine who?

How do we know that

you're gonna call off that sale?

- Oh, no.

- Well, of course I will.

Are you sure that while we're out there

lookin' at the Statue of Liberty...

you won't be in there

votin' so that Italian fella

can strip-mine Jupiter Hollow?

- Strip-mine?

- Yes.

- You lied to me.

- Would I strip-mine our birthplace?

Oh, no, you don't. You're the only one

that's gonna get strip-mined

if you walk through that door.

- You'd never miss that old sinkhole.

- Ohh! What did you say?

I'll buy you a nice little condo

on the East River.

- How dare you!

- Rosie! Rosie, help me with

this terrible, vulgar woman!

- Rosie! Rosie! I need your help!

- Don't you dare!

Sadie, l-I just have to.

Ohh. Ohh. Ohh. I've got her!

How could you do this to your own

sister? Sadie, don't let them to do

this! I'll share it all with you!

- No.

- Join me in this, and I'll show you

a life that'll make your head spin.

I'll introduce you to the most

glamourous people in the world.

- Joan Collins?

- Yes!

- No!

Sadie, I know you're shallow,

but you're not heartless.

- You don't wanna help

do in Jupiter Hollow!

- You're not one of them.

You're me. Look. We've even

got the same taste in clothes.

Yeah, and where in the hell did you

get the money to buy such a dress?

Or do I need to ask?

Come on, Sadie. Who needs

these dumb old hayseeds anyway?

I do.

Oh, grab her, quick!

In the closet! Throw her in!

- Oh, you're a Ratliff deep down inside.

- Open up, I tell you!

- I knew you were.

- Don't push it.

- Quick, go get that chair.

- Oh.

- Security! Help!

- I'd better stay with Sadie.

- Let me out!

- Oh, boy.

I can't wait to loose my lip

at those stockholders.

- Wait!

- Help!

- You can't.

- Why not?

Because no one will believe you. The one

who always does the talking is Sa...

You fools. They'll never fall for that.

They'll see right through her.

By the liquidation of the Hollowmade

factory, we'll double our corporate...

Open up! Let me out!

- Oh, just hold your horses!

- Let me out!

- Good morning, Bill and Tom.

- Bill, Tom.

Good morning.

Well, good morning, ladies and

gentlemen. Sorry if I'm a bit late.

Well, let's get right down to

new business, shall we? Hollowmade.

I have come to the conclusion...

- that the sale of Hollowmade

to Fabio, uh, uh...

- Alberici. Alberici. Alberici.

What's-his-face

is not in our best interest.

What?

Excuse me, Miss Shelton, but we were

just, uh, reminding the stockholders...

that you strongly advocate

liquidation.

Rose, darling, may I have

a glass of water, please?

- Certainly.

- I'm a very direct woman.

If I don't get your approval to

cancel this sale, please understand...

that l...

I have controlling interest

in Denver-C-Carrington...

uh, M-M-Moramax, and I...

uh, will not hesitate to fire you all

right here on the spot...

- and replace y'all

with a board that will go along.

- Miss Shelton.

This is outrageous!

We were told the sale

would make a huge profit.

Isn't that

what we're in business for?

What the hell's going on here?

- W-What Sadie means, um...

What she's trying to tell you is...

- W-W-W-W-W-W... l-l-l-l-l-l...

- I just want to say that... What...

- Uh, wait. Gentlemen,

I have something to say.

This deal is a fraud.

Mr. Alberici plans

to close down the factory...

and to strip-mine Jupiter Hollow.

You're probably wondering how come

all of the sudden we care about

this poor little Podunk town.

- Yes.

- Well, it's... it's...

it's simply because...

- Because?

- Because of...

of the terrible image problem

we've been facing.

As you well know, Moramax

has the image problem of...

- of a... of a...

- Of a...

- a...

- Pit bull!

Yes! Look, everyone hates us, and now

we're going to put 500 hard-working,

decent Americans out of work?

- They're not gonna take it lying down.

- They're not. They're... They're liable

to be arriving here any minute now.

- In pickup trucks.

- RVs!

- Factory workers picketing Moramax,

with wives, kids, dogs...

- Pigs!

- All right! Get on with it.

- Oh, look.

Ladies and gentlemen, we're asking you

to please say no to this sale...

not just because

it's going to spare 500 jobs...

not just because it's gonna save

10,000 acres of the most beautiful land

God ever put on this earth...

and certainly not just because

it's the right thing to do.

No, we appeal to you

as businesspeople.

We appeal to your

basic business instinct.

Yes, to save your own asses!

- What?

- Yes.

How many of you are in favour

of saving Jupiter Hollow?

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