Big Driver
1
Okay, so, a murderer
drowns his victim
with a mouthful of snow.
You get it'?
It melts.
No evidence.
Uh...
Hello?
Well,
it's different.
You know, could expand
your eskimo readership.
What do you think?
Yes, I love that outfit.
I'd kill for that.
Thank you.
All right.
So, here's the other one.
The girls find
a dead siamese twin
holding a fired gun,
all right?
They have to try to figure out
which twin killed the other.
Like that?
Oh. Here's a thought...
Maybe it wasn't murder.
Maybe it was suicide.
Yeah, personally,
I'd go
with the siamese twins.
They're enemies
the same organs.
That's twisted.
Yeah, "the willow grove
knitting society
goes to siam."
Girls use the needles
as chopsticks...
Total classic.
Can't go to siam...
It was renamed
thailand in 1948.
Did you know that?
And doreen hates
to fly.
I'm really glad
you liked it, though.
a message later
with more details, but...
Okay.
What am I forgetting?
Did you put paint on your arm'?
Ah.
Okay, what am I forgetting?
Earrings.
Yes, earrings.
You know what'?
They should make
your novels into movies,
get like some big actress
with lots of oscars
to play the enigmatic
painter friend...
Who could very easily
be added to the plot.
I will tell hollywood
about your feelings. Look.
Thinking?
Ah, yes. Definitely.
I am so late.
a chance to meet your fans.
Ouch!
You okay'?
I'm fine.
By the way, fritz...
Totally pissed I'm going.
He'll get over it.
Far more importantly,
can I borrow some dvds'?
You must have like
every movie ever made.
I have movies that haven't
even been thought of yet.
Uh, chapstick, chapstick,
chapstick.
no chapstick.
All right.
Why do I get myself into these things?
Can you just tell me'?
Uh, hard, cold cash.
Take it.
Do something fun.
I put all of my speakers fees
in the bank.
That's fun, right?
Hey, you.
I'm gonna miss you.
You be nice to patsy
while I'm gone.
I got to get on the road.
Bye, fritz.
Give me a call
when you get back tonight.
We'll have a glass of wine.
Okay.
I just set the alarm.
You know the code. Thanks.
You're welcome.
You're lying.
Chap-stick. Thank you.
You're welcome.
Okay.
All right.
See you later.
Okay. Knock 'em dead.
Right, hopefully.
Bye.
Bye.
See you soon, girls.
And all the roses
seem to fade
And somehow
I have lost my way
In two miles,
take the onramp
towards the I-84 north.
You always know
the best way, tom.
Time will pass,
and seasons change
we all start to act our age a'
now make a right turn
as the distance
makes us strange
play your part
up on the stage
and I'm tired of pretending
that I'm happy to be here
as our time together's ending
I just want to tell you
dear love
dear lo-o-o-ve a' you have
reached your destination.
Dear love
dear lo-o-o-ve
dear love
dear...
Thanks, tom.
I should let you out of there sometime.
It must get cramped.
Hello.
You take the 84'?
Did.
Ah.
Ramona Norvell,
president of the three bees.
Finally we meet
after all the phone yak.
Yes, ramona. Tess. It's so nice
to put a face to the voice.
Oh, ditto.
Ooh! Nice gps.
Oh, actually it's... imagine the
way it just sucks the information
down from some whirling
metal ball of technology
high above.
Right?
What are they gonna
think of next'?
Uh, excuse me.
I'm a bit of a mess.
Well, as I mentioned
in my e-mail,
we are all rabid fans
I'll be writing
your check
from our
just soon as
you're done today.
I even have my own pen.
'Course you do.
You're the president.
Yes.
How was the drive'?
Ugh. Endless.
84 is the worst highway
in america.
Truly.
Walk here faster.
I can save you
an hour easy
heading back
a different way.
Oh. Scenic drive,
singing squirrels...
Whole bit.
I love me a shortcut.
Thank you.
As your most
finely-realized character,
doreen marquis, says in "the willow
grove knitting society goes to dallas,"
"the two best things in life
"are warm croissants
"warm croissants
and a quick way home."
And a quick way home."
The three
bee high rollers
paid extra to meet you
before your speech.
Gonna love 'em.
And where do you get your
marvellous ideas from, tess?
Uh, believe it or not,
they find me.
They always seem
to know where I am.
"My life,"
written by Tess Thorne,
would be a best seller.
Is that right?
"Erotic potboiler."
"51st shade of grey."
How can I get an agent?
Well, people ask me that
all the time,
and I say,
"just keep writing letters
until one of the hungrier ones
reads your stuff."
I have a fully
detailed outline
if you'd like to see it. Tess.
Could I get
a photo with you'?
Say, "homicide."
Homicide.
Homicide. Homicide.
Let's talk about murder and mayhem...
As they are the flip side
of the american dream.
I'm often asked if I draw my characters
from real life.
The truth is, my strange
and diabolical aunts,
who live for awful gossip,
are the inspiration for the
willow grove knitting society.
As to my other characters...
I'm a little embarrassed
to say this...
Um, ever since
I was a little kid,
I had these voices
in my head... all kinds...
Men, women, old, young,
this mysterious corral
in a padded cell or published...
One or the other.
I think the most important thing
about writing
is that an author knows
about human nature...
The contradictions
we all have,
the lies we pretend
are truths,
the fears that we pretend
are strengths,
the greed and revenge
that we have
that we don't
admit to ourselves.
In my books...
Like in my life, I guess...
Logic is king.
Or I guess, in my case,
the queen.
You were wonderful, tess.
Worth every penny.
Thank you.
They were all so great,
and I sold some books.
Oh, I saw.
"Kiss of death"...
That is such a classic, huh'?
Richard Widmark
was in that.
He's my favorite actor.
I fell in love with him
when I was a girl
after seeing
"kiss of death."
He was so powerful,
so intense.
I got him to sign
this for me... in person.
He was very old then,
but that's a real signature,
not a stamp.
Wow.
He was very handsome.
I'll make sure
you get all the photos
that were taken today.
Thanks. Now let's get
that route for you.
Better a straight shot
through robin hood's forest
than all the way
around it.
We'll input stag road
and U.S. 47.
Oh, by the way, stag road
is very scenic...
Parched asphalt
and all that,
but not too bumpy
the last time I took it,
and that was in the spring,
And I hate bumps.
Then when you get to 47,
you will spot a sign
that points to I-84.
And you're only
gonna have to spend
12 miles on the turnpike.
And that's
the beauty part.
You'll save lots of time
and aggravation,
you'll put hours
on your life,
and you'll thank me
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"Big Driver" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 7 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/big_driver_4043>.
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