Big Fish Page #5

Suddenly, his voice CRACKS and DROPS a half-octave. And then

another. His friends Wilbur Freeley and Ruthie look over,

wondering what’s wrong. Embarrassed, Edward just keepsSINGING, trying to follow along with the baritone part.

He pulls at his collar. Then pulls again, his face gettingred. Starting to panic, he loosens his tie. He’s startingto undo the collar button when it POPS off by itself. Two

more buttons fly off. One hits a CHUBBY WOMAN in the neck.

ON HIS SHOES:

As we watch, Edward’s pant cuffs rise inch by inch -- that’show fast he’s growing.

EDWARD (V.O.)

Truth is, no one quite knew what was

wrong. Most times, a person grows upgradually. I found myself in a hurry.

INT. YOUNG EDWARD’S BEDROOM - DAY

Young Edward lies in bed, his limbs connected to variouspulleys and levers to support his weight. He has a dozen

encyclopedias around him, and another dozen on the floor.

EDWARD (V.O.)

My muscles couldn’t keep up with my

bones, and my bones couldn’t keep up

with my body’s ambition.

(MORE)

25.

EDWARD (V.O.) (cont'd)

So I spent the better part of threeyears confined to my bed, with theWorld Book Encyclopedia being my onlymeans of exploration. I had made it

all the way to the “G’s,” hoping tofind an answer to mygigantificationism, when I uncovered anarticle about the common goldfish.

INSERT:
The encyclopedia article, complete with drawings.

YOUNG EDWARD:

(reading)

“Kept in a small bowl, the goldfishwill remain small. With more space,

the fish can grow double, triple, orquadruple its size.”

Young Edward thinks this through.

EDWARD (V.O.)

It occurred to me then, that perhapsthe reason for my growth was that I wasintended for larger things. After all,

a giant man can’t have an ordinary-

sized life.

EXT. BASEBALL FIELD - DAY

The CRACK of a bat announces the game-winning home run. The

crowd CHEERS the swing, and especially the batter as herounds the bases.

Although we’ve seen him briefly before, this is our firstreal exposure to GROWN-UP EDWARD, who we’ll follow fromroughly the ages of 18 to 30.

EDWARD (V.0.)

As soon as my bones had settled intheir adult configuration, I set uponmy plan to make a bigger place formyself in Ashton.

EXT. SCHOOL FIELDS - DAY

SINGLE SHOTS:
Football hero Edward leads his team to

victory. On the sidelines, a PRETTY GIRL admits the name ofher secret love:

GIRL:

Edward Bloom!

The other GIRLS SQUEAL in agreement. Don Price looks over,

glowers.

26.

EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD - DAY

SINGLE SHOT:
A lawnmower ROARS along the grass. We LOOK UP

to see who’s pushing it, but it’s not Edward. It’s one of

his teenage EMPLOYEES.

Edward is back at the truck, which is painted to read, “Bloom

Landscaping.” He has workers on every lawn.

He signs an autograph for an ADMIRING CUB SCOUT.

INT. BASKETBALL COURT - DAY

Edward takes an impossible shot at the buzzer from the other

end of the court. Naturally, he makes it, winning the game.

As the crowd goes wild for Edward, Don Price is the only

teammate who doesn’t mob him.

EXT. TOWN - DAY

Edward carries a dog out of a burning house.

INT. SCIENCE FAIR - DAY

Edward wins a blue ribbon for his invention, a machine

labelled “Perpetual Motion.” He and the JUDGE pose for a

photograph. A FLASH.

Pissed, Don Price throws his crappy lima bean plants in the

trash.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL STAGE - DAY

A dashingly handsome Edward leads the CAST out for a curtain

call. He’s the star of the show. Off to the side, we see

Don Price is the ass-end of a horse costume.

Edward soaks in his applause, smiling and gracious.

EXT. GRADUATION STAGE - DAY

Edward accepts his diploma. The PRINCIPAL hugs him tight.

EDWARD (V.O.)

I was the biggest thing Ashton had ever

seen. Until one day, a strangerarrived.

EXT. FARM - DAY

As two FARMERS shake their heads, we REVERSE to a show amassive hole punched through the side of a barn. It’s

roughly the shape of man, but no human could be that large.

27.

EXT. SHEEP PEN - DAY

Two fat ewes look up, a shadow falling across them. TheyBLEAT in panic as

TWO OVERSIZED HANDS

reach in and scoop them up. Their protests continue asthey’re carried away, one under each arm. We still haven’t

seen the full stranger.

EXT. COURT HOUSE - DAY

A MOB of about 50 have gathered, many of them with shotguns.

Amid the crowd we see Don Price.

SHARECROPPER:

He ate an entire cornfield!

LITTLE GIRL:

He ate my dog!

HOT-BLOODED SHOTGUN TOTER

If you ain’t gonna stop him Mayor, wewill!

MAYOR:

I won’t have mob violence in this town.

Now, has someone tried talking to him?

SOME FARMER:

You can’t reason with ‘im!

SHEPHARD:

He’s a monster!

Agreement from the crowd. And then...

A VOICE (O.S.)

I’ll do it.

Everyone turns to see who said that. The crowd parts toreveal none other than Edward Bloom. Don Price glowers.

EDWARD:

I’ll talk to him. See if I can get himto move on.

MAYOR:

Son, that creature could crush youwithout trying.

EDWARD:

Trust me, he’ll have to try.

28.

EXT. HILL OUTSIDE ASHTON - DAY

Edward climbs up the last bit of the steep hillside, reachingthe mouth of a cave. Outside, buzzards squabble over theremains of the giant’s feast: broken barrels, bones pickedclean.

In his most serious voice, Edward calls out:

EDWARD:

Hello!

There’s no answer.

EDWARD (cont’d)

My name is Edward Bloom! I want to

talk to you!

From deep in a cave, a thunderous voice:

VOICE (O.S.)

GO AWAY!

The giant’s voice has such force, it blows Edward’s hairback.

EDWARD:

I’m not going anywhere until you showyourself.

A beat, then we hear a RUMBLE, like a train coming. Edward

braces himself, fists ready for a fight, if that’s what it’sgoing to take.

As the RUMBLE gets louder, the ground starts to shake. Even

Edward starts to worry. Just how big is this guy?

EDWARD (V.O.)(cont’d)

Armed with the foreknowledge of my owndeath, I knew the giant couldn’t kill

me. All the same, I preferred to keepmy bones unbroken.

Edward picks up a stone, ready to play David to Goliath.

Then suddenly, the giant bursts forth. Hunched over, heslams into a stunned Edward, knocking him halfway down thehill.

KARL THE GIANT is bigger than any man you’ve ever seen. Not

just tall, but massive. He’s completely feral, with a beardto his elbow and skin scratched and blistered. What remains

of his clothes are ragged and muddy. God knows what’s livingin his matted hair.

29.

Karl leans over Edward, blocking the sun. Edward throws his

rock, but it just bounces off. The giant didn’t even noticeit.

KARL:

Why are you here?

Edward ponders the best response, settling on...

EDWARD:

So you can eat me. The town decided to

send a human sacrifice, and Ivolunteered.

Karl’s eyes narrow, confused. Edward stands up.

EDWARD (cont’d)

My arms are a little stringy, butthere’s some good eating on my legs. I

mean, I’d be tempted to eat themmyself.

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