Big Foot

Season #Fall Episode #1

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Opening scene of a man singing

Derek:
When a man loves a woman, Can’t keep his mind on nothin else He’d trade the world For a good thing he’s found If she is bad, he can’t see it She can do no wrong Turn his back on his best friend If he puts her down….

Emily:
Darling you know I love your singing but right now lets hold off on it for a while.

Derek:
Come on hun it’s a classic besides this song explains how I feel about you. ( continues to sing) He’d give up all his comforts and sleep out in the rain.

Emily:
Would you really do that for me?

Derek:
Of course babe you know I would.

Start to pitch up a tent and create a small bonfire

Emily:
Wow would you look at that, sure is a beautiful night, babe come here ( Derek comes near Emily and lean in to hug and hold each other) look at those colors

Derek:
Not nearly as beautiful as you.

Emily:
Oh hush, you’re so cheesy.

Derek:
Yeah but I’m your cheese heh heh.

Emily:
Yes you are dear.

( They take in a moment of the scenery)

Emily:
This sure is a nice spot, how’d you find it?

( He digs into an ice chest and grabs a bottle of wine and pours them both a glass)

Derek:
Well I’ve been doing research about the best and most beautiful places to spend camping for a while now ( he grins and takes a sip of wine)

Emily:
Oh really ( she takes a sip of wine)

Derek:
Mmhhmm but I wanted this camping trip to be extra special ( he takes another sip of wine)

Emily:
Really ( curiously ) why is that? ( she smiles)

(Derek finishes his wine and then takes Emily by the hand and they sit down together)

Derek sounding a bit nervous

Derek:
Well we’ve been together for a while now…

Emily:
Mmhmm three years to be exact ( starts to smile more)

Derek:
Yeah and you know relationships are built on trust and understanding of one another. Sharing the things that are important to us, big or small, serious or silly.

Emily:
True, oh like that one time we were at your parents house and we caught your Dad spiking the punch?

Derek:
Well not exactly sweetheart, and man that was some Christmas party, I didn’t know Grandma could drink like that. But besides all that, tonight I wanted to officially invite you into my world.

Emily starts to fan herself and gets excited

Emily:
Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Derek:
So with that ( gets on one knee and leans in closer ) will you be my partner?

Emily:
Oh my God yes!

Derek:
Really?! Oh my God great! You see I’ve been watching the forest for a while now and hunting cryptids is tough work.

Emily:
Cryptids? ( starts to laugh a little) is that a new word for a ring or something honey?

Derek ignores what she just ask, he gets up and continues on

Derek:
I just needed a partner ( gasp) no, a watcher partner who can make all the difference in making that big discovery and getting that documentation of proof.

Emily:
I’m sorry I’m not following you…

Derek:
Proof! You know proof that Bigfoot and the others do exist!

Emily looking confused and slightly disgusted

Emily:
I’m sorry so I know you said you were into science fiction and mythology I really thought you meant Star Wars, Star Trek, Star…whatever! Not Bigfoot!

Derek:
Well, it’s a misunderstood field of study, and most don’t understand

it, so I keep shop-talk within the Watchers Circle. But (warm grin, and side arm-

hug) since you and me have been quite the team these past few years, I figured it

was time to let you in on the secret. (conspiratorial wink

Derek:
Well, it’s a misunderstood field of study, and most people don’t understand

it, so I keep shop-talk within the Watchers Circle. But (warm grin, and side arm-

hug) since you and me have been quite the team these past few years, I figured it

was time to let you in on the secret. (conspiratorial wink)

Emily:
Ok….this is a joke right? Come one where is the ring? And wait… why on earth would Bigfoot (disbelieving sarcasm) be in East Texas?!

Derek:
You see (insert rambling about Bigfoot and why he/it would of course be in

Texas, because everything’s bigger here, so naturally it would migrate here)!

Emily looking at him and looks puzzled and confused

Emily:
You know what, it’s a bit chilly, and I’m a bit tired… (annoyed)!

Derek:
Oh, do you want to take the second watch? I’ll stay up with the equipment until, oh (checks watch) 2am, sound good? (excited/expectant)

Emily:
… Sure. (Rolls eyes and heads back to tent) I always wanted to go camping and play look out for the Loch Ness Monster! ( says sarcastically)

Derek:
No Big foot honey, Biiiiiig Fooooot. You have to know these things.

Emily:
Whatever who gives a crap! There’d better be coffee for me in the morning, or you’re in for a rude surprise, jackass!!

Derek:
(distractedly) Ok, hon! (assembles video cameras, etc around campsite)!

Derek starts to sing again

Derek:
When a man loves a woman, I give you everything I’ve got yeah, trying to hold on to your precious love, baby please don’t treat me bad.

Emily looks disgusted and shakes her head, she storms off and gets into the tent

THE NEXT MORNING%

Emily stumbles out of the tent around sunrise, in pajamas and wrapped in a

flannel shirt. Hair is a mess, makeup smeared. She blearily meanders over to the

Man, who is currently uncomfortably draped across the log and is snoring. The fire is embers at

this point. Emily takes a long stick, pokes at the fire, and then gently kicks Derek

boot to rouse him.

Emily:
Wake up, goober. The fire’s out and I need coffee before I can be any

shade of pleasant.!

Derek:
incoherent mumble!

Emily :
(louder) I said get up, babe! Help me get the fire going again so I can

make breakfast.!

Derek wakes up, blearily looks around, and then focuses on Emily.!

Derek:
eeeeeeeek (passes out)!

Emily:
(clearly pissed off at this point) Are you serious?! That was f***ing rude,

what the hell is wrong with you?!!

Derek is unconscious, and Emily pokes him a few times with the stick, but he

doesn’t wake.!

Emily:
God damn it, fine, I’ll do it myself. (turns around to face a hairy ‘man’s’

belly)!

Bigfoot:
Grunts!

Emily:
(looks up, squints, then blinks)!

Emily:
Nope. Nope, it is too damn early for any of this nonsense. (waves

dismissively at Bigfoot, then yells at Derek) Your boyfriend’s here, jackass! (back to

bigfoot) Pfft, good luck getting him up. !

Emily:
(throws up hands) You know what, I haven’t had enough coffee to deal

with ANY of this cryptid nonsense, in fact this is probably some weird ass

inception dream, thanks to Captain Cryptid over there… I wanted a ring and he is talking about the damn Loch Ness monster and sh*t! He probably believes in Werewolves and Dracula, F***ing Frankenstein, who in their (rambles on angrily as she stomps back towards the tent) !

Bigfoot:
(looks between the tent and takes the ice chest full of food and walks up to Derek and kicks his boot. Derek wakes up and see’s Bigfoot again and screams like a girl and passes out again. Bigfoot grunts, shrugs, and then wanders back into the woods).!

END:

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