Big Miracle Page #6

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I got a news flash

for you, Cocky McGee.

I've been working on my

two-letter words, okay?

I'm dangerous.

Okay, I hate to do

it to you, but...

Oof!

"Zipper."

Triple-letter

and 38 points.

Oh, man!

You got to go.

Okay, hold on.

I got something for you.

What's this?

Guns N' Roses, Sweet Child o'

Mine. Play it for Bamm-Bamm.

It sounds just like his mom,

because Axl Rose sings like a whale.

You know

how he's like...

It's so high.

That's pretty true

to life, actually.

Thank you.

You really care about

those whales, don't you?

No, it's my grandfather

who worships them.

He has a whole bunch of prayers

about them and everything. It's weird.

So, what do you say?

Thirty bucks and I'll lend you the

magic of Guns N' Roses for 24 hours.

Okay, Gordon Gekko, we

get it. Nice try, though.

Do you know that when you don't

show up for your grandmother

I get in trouble?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- You know that, right?

This woman has

a knife collection that...

I'll see you guys

tomorrow?

Yeah, see you tomorrow.

Okay, bye.

He really looks up to you.

Are you surprised?

He just needed a friend,

I think.

Plus, he's pretty cool.

And I'm pretty cool, so

maybe I just needed a friend.

You shouldn't let them

take advantage of you.

Who's that?

The reporters

you're sucking up to.

Well, I'm not...

Not sucking up.

Hey, you know what?

I'm not one of your endangered

critters that needs saving.

So, thanks, anyway.

I'm sorry,

I didn't mean...

The temperature is

dropping so fast out there.

You know what?

My head just isn't in this, and

I should get back onto the ice.

I thought you said

everything was taken care of!

How was I supposed to know there is

only one place in this town to stay?

I don't know, Karl, maybe pick

up a phone and call ahead, huh?

The Greenpeace lady

from the TV!

Come on, grab your stuff there, Dean-o.

You'll see everything's

going to be okay. Come on!

All right, hold on, now.

Wait for me!

Hey, lady!

Hey!

Hey, miss!

Greenpeace lady, miss!

Wait, please, miss.

I'm Karl. This is my

brother-in-law, Dean.

We're up from the Twin Cities and

we brought the amazing De-Icers!

What?

It keeps the ice off your

boat when it's in dock.

So, we figured you could

use them to keep those whale

holes from freezing over.

Yeah, you just give us the word

and we'll head out to the whales.

You bet.

Look, I'm sure that you think

your idea can help.

By now,

we've heard everything,

but we've got

it under control.

Hold on a second, lady!

So, you didn't know

we were coming?

Sorry, no.

Oh, my God.

Malik!

You need to see this!

Festive.

No, no, no.

I am doing a really good job

and I'm not leaving

just because now this is a

lead story, and you want it!

You want to play in

the big leagues, Jill?

Sometimes you have to

sit on the bench,

and let the heavy hitters

bring it on home.

There's a ticket waiting

for you at the airport.

I'll be keeping

your cameraman with me.

Good luck with

your "cat in a tree," Wes!

Are you Mexican?

Only at work.

Son of a...

I hope you fall into the

whale hole, you jackass.

Pat, I'm just headed

back now.

I needed to see if you

needed anything from town.

Over.

No. We are in big trouble

out here, Rach.

The temperature has dropped

through the floor.

The guys can't keep

the hole open.

We can't keep up with the

ice. I think this is it.

What?

You going to eat that

ja-lapeno?

It's "jalapeo."

You don't pronounce

the "J."

Are you going to eat it?

Why can't you admit

that you're a jerk?

I'm a jerk? Why?

Because!

Hey.

Do those things that you

brought here really work?

Yeah.

The Hootkin 450 will turn a

hockey rink into a swimming pool

faster than you can say

"Minnesota North Stars!"

Says so

right on the box.

Well, you guys

better not be lying.

Come on!

Hi.

That's it?

That's our Hail Mary?

It's a table fan

and a box top!

This table fan is your...

Jeez, look at that.

Look at that whale.

Don't worry about it, okay? These

things are going to work great!

I hope.

It's frozen.

Thirty seconds on the ice

and it's already seized up!

It's not a big deal. There are

plenty of great stories in LA.

We don't do great stories!

No one does.

And no one would

watch them even if we did.

Do you know that there are

at least 30 wars going on

around the world,

as we speak?

- Yeah.

- Of course you don't.

Because there are no reporters

there to tell you about them

because they're all here

covering three stupid whales!

Look at what

they've done to me.

I'm just a smelly, drunk,

depressed Barbie.

No, no,

of course not. You...

Do you know what?

Maybe this is

my wake-up call.

Okay.

If this is what

reporting is all about,

I don't want any part of it.

What would you do?

I don't know.

Maybe be a teacher.

Adam, it's Rachel. Come in.

Hey, Rachel,

can you give me a second?

I'm kind of in

the middle of something.

Adam, we need a generator!

There's got to be

one at your station.

If we don't get it in the next

few minutes, the whales are dead.

Now, start it up inside

and keep it running until

you get to the SAR hangar.

Adam, do you roger that?

Yeah, I got it.

I'm just saying, grab a

camera and some equipment

while you're in there.

It'll take two seconds. I

need you to be my cameraman.

Jill, this is about

the whales.

And, by the way, what

happened to your wake-up call?

Five minutes ago, you were

going to be a school teacher.

Since things have

slowed with the rescue...

You're no different

than I am.

You want to move

up just as badly.

This story

is our chance, Adam.

It fell into your lap, but it

landed you on national television!

What's happening out there

on the ice right now, Adam,

that's our story.

No, it's everyone's story.

Do you think that if they had the

scoop, they would give it to you?

We are being handed the ticket

to where we both want to go.

Don't throw it away.

The people will spend the next

two months in total darkness.

What happened?

What the hell?

Okay.

No way! There's about a

million FAA regs against that.

Shut it off,

or we don't go.

It'll freeze.

This is the only way.

Pat! We'll all be

unconscious in five minutes.

That's not what you

want from your pilot.

What if we just leave all the

doors open and let all the air out?

You're joking, right?

Fine!

But there's a pretty good chance

we're going to freeze to death.

Seventy below?

That can't be right.

Feels pretty right.

But wait,

if we're going 100 knots,

then that makes our

wind chill at about...

Are you all right?

Are you okay?

Are you all right?

My eye is frozen shut!

- What?

- I can't see out of my eye!

What do I do?

I have a pocket knife. I could

cut it open, like in Rocky.

No! No cutting

or ripping!

Okay, okay, okay.

Okay, you know what?

Just keep her steady.

What are you doing?

I'm going to

lick your eye!

Nobody's licking my eye!

- Listen to me!

- No!

- Stay calm!

- No!

You're not going

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