Big Movie Premiere: The Proposal Page #3

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Genius! Genius.

He completely fell for it.

I was serious.

I`m looking at a $250,000 fine

and five years in jail.

That changes things.

- Promote you to editor? No, no way.

- Then I quit, and you`re screwed.

- Bye-bye, Margaret.

- Andrew!

- It really has been a slice of heaven.

- Andrew, Andrew! Fine, fine.

I`ll make you editor. Fine.

If you do the Alaska weekend

and the immigration interview,

I will make you editor. Happy?

- And not in two years. Right away.

- Fine.

And you`ll publish my manuscript.

- Ten thousand copy first...

- Twenty thousand copies, first run.

We`ll tell my family about our

engagement when I want and how I want.

Now, ask me nicely.

``Ask you nicely`` what?

Ask me nicely to marry you, Margaret.

- What does that mean?

- You heard me. On your knee.

Fine.

- Does this work for you?

- Oh, I like this. Yeah.

- Will you marry me?

- No.

Say it like you mean it.

- Andrew?

- Yes, Margaret?

- Sweet Andrew?

- l`m listening.

Would you please, with cherries on top,

marry me?

OK. I don`t appreciate the sarcasm,

but l`ll do it.

- See you at the airport tomorrow.

- Good.

So, these are the questions

that lNS is gonna ask us.

Now, the good news is,

is I know everything about you,

but the bad news is that you have

four days to learn all this about me.

So, you should...

probably get studying.

You know all the answers

to these questions about me?

- Scary, isn`t it?

- A little bit.

- What am I allergic to?

- Pine nuts.

And the full spectrum of human emotion.

Oh, that`s... that was funny.

Here`s a good one.

Do I have any scars?

I`m pretty sure that you have a tattoo.

Oh, you`re pretty sure?

I`m pretty sure. Two years ago,

your dermatologist called

and asked about a Q-switched laser.

I Googled a Q-switched laser

and found that they, in fact,

do remove tattoos.

But you cancelled your appointment.

So what is it? Tribal ink?

Japanese calligraphy? Barbed wire?

You know, it`s exciting for me

to experience you like this.

Thank you. You`re gonna

have to tell me where it is.

- l`m not.

- They`re gonna ask.

We`re done with that question.

We`re done with that question.

On to another question.

Let me see, let me see.

Oh, here`s one. Whose place

do we stay at, yours or mine?

That`s easy. Mine.

- And why wouldn`t we stay at mine?

- Because I live at Central Park West.

And you probably live at some

squalid little studio apartment

with stacks of yellowed

Penguin Classics.

Ladies and gentlemen,

please fasten your seat belts.

We are beginning our

descent into Juneau.

Juneau? I thought

we were going to Sitka.

- We are.

- How are we getting to Sitka?

All right. Here we go.

- Where? Oh, there he is!

- Andrew!

Hi. Right this way...

Hi!

- lt`s so good to see you!

- You`re suffocating him, Grace.

- Come here.

- Hey, Gammy.

Gammy. How are you doing?

Where`s Dad?

Oh, you know your father.

He`s always working.

Never mind about him.

Where`s your girl?

She`s... right there.

There she is.

I guess the word ``girl``

is inappropriate.

Annie.

- Hi!

- Hello.

- Margaret, this is my mom.

- Hello.

Yeah, great.

This is my gammy, Annie.

- Pleasure.

- Well, hello there.

Now, do you prefer being called

Margaret or Satan`s Mistress?

We`ve heard it both ways.

Actually we`ve heard it lots of ways.

She`s kidding.

OK.

Thank you so much for... allowing me

to be a part of this weekend.

Oh, you`re welcome.

We`re thrilled to have you.

Let`s get you two back to the fort.

OK.

- lt`s so good to see you.

- There we are.

Andrew...

Andrew. Andrew!

Please, don`t do that.

You didn`t tell me about all

the family businesses, honey.

He was probably just being modest, dear.

What are we doing? Shouldn`t we

check into our hotel right now?

Oh, we cancelled your reservation.

Family doesn`t stay at a hotel.

You`re gonna stay in our home.

Oh, great! Great.

- What?

- God.

You`re gonna wanna use

your legs to lift that one.

Andrew! Help her with those.

I`d love to, but she won`t

let me do anything.

She insists on doing it all herself.

She`s one of those... she`s a feminist.

Come on, sweetie.

You see the shoes

that broad was wearing?

This is the last of `em.

- Five second rule.

- Got it! Got it.

That will dry right off.

I`m not getting on that boat.

You don`t have to.

See you in a few days.

- You know I can`t swim.

- Hence, the boat.

Come on.

Come on.

Here we go.

Looking good, boss.

Take your time, though.

She comes with a lot of baggage.

Just gonna give you a little hand here.

Hand off ass! Off ass!

There you go. You`re there.

Congratulations.

I`m a hundred years old now.

Here we are. We`re home.

That is your home?

Who are you people?

- Why did you tell me you were poor?

- I never said I was poor.

- But you never told me you were rich.

- l`m not rich. My parents are rich.

OK, you know what? That`s

something only rich people say.

Hey, Andrew! Welcome home!

Hi! Mom, what is this?

Nothing. It`s just a little

welcoming party.

Is that a crime?

Just 50 of our closest

friends and neighbours.

And all excited to meet you.

- Oh, good. Good.

- Come on. Come on.

- A party?

- Yeah, I guess so.

Come on. Let`s go. My grandma`s

moving faster than you.

Put your back into it.

So nice to meet you, Margaret.

Welcome to Sitka.

Jill? Hi. Nice to meet you.

Our pleasure.

Why didn`t you tell me you were

some kind of Alaskan Kennedy?

How could l?

We were in the middle of talking

about you for the last three years.

OK, know what? Timeout, OK?

This bickering Bickerson

thing has to stop.

People need to think

we`re in love. So let`s...

That`s no problem. I can do that.

I can pretend to be the doting fiance.

That`s easy.

But for you, it`s gonna require

that you stop snacking on

children while they dream.

Very funny. When are you going

to tell them we`re engaged?

I`ll pick the right moment.

Hey, Andrew. Hi!

Mrs McKittrick. How are you?

Nice to see you.

Nice to see you, Mr McKittrick.

This is Margaret.

- Hi. Pleasure.

- Margaret!

Hi, how are you? Pleasure.

So I always wanted to know,

what does a book editor do?

That`s a great question, Louise.

I`m curious to know the answer myself.

- Hello, Dad.

- Son.

- This must be Maggie.

- Margaret.

- Joe. Pleasure to meet you.

- Pleasure`s mine.

So why don`t you tell us

exactly what a book editor does.

Besides taking writers out

to lunch and getting bombed.

Now that sounds like fun.

No wonder you like being an editor.

No, Louise. Andrew`s not an editor,

he`s an editor`s assistant.

- Maggie here is the editor.

- Margaret.

- So you`re actually...

- Andrew`s boss. Yeah.

Well. How about that.

I think l`ll get a refill.

Charming.

That`s a hell of

a first impression, Dad.

What the hell, Andrew?

You show up after all this

time with this woman you hated,

- now she`s your girlfriend?

- We just got here.

Can we wait two seconds before we throw

the kitchen sink at each other?

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