Big Sur Page #7

to understand something there.

Want to finish

the job yourself?

What do you mean?

Well, I said I'd dig

the garbage pit,

and I've done that.

Aren't you supposed

to do the rest?

I'll dump earth over it

and tamp it down.

No, no, no, no!

What's the matter

with this kid?

Is he a cretin?

Come on, Elliott.

Jack...

you are so f***ing neurotic.

The hell with this madness.

Just a golden wash of goodness

has spread over all and

over all my body and mind.

All the dark torture

is a memory.

I know now I can

get out of there.

We'll drive back to the city.

I'll take Billie home.

I'll say goodbye

to her properly.

She won't commit no suicide

or do anything wrong.

Billie will go on being golden

one way or the other.

The little boy will grow up

and be a great man.

Lenora's life will go on.

Old Lew will manage somehow.

I'll forgive them

and explain everything.

And Neal Cassady

and Albert Saijo

and ravened Michael McClure

and perfect,

starry Philip Whalen,

they'll all pass through

one way or the other.

I'll stay with Ferlinghetti

at his home a few days,

and he'll smile and show me

how to be happy a while.

We'll drink dry wine

instead of sweet

and have quiet evenings

in his home.

Ferlinghetti will say,

"That's all there is to it. "

"Take it easy.

Everything's okay. "

"Don't take things too serious. "

"It's bad enough as it is"

without you going the deep end

over imaginary conceptions,

"just like you

always said yourself. "

I'll get my ticket

and say goodbye on a flower day

and leave

all San Francisco behind

and go home

across autumn America,

and it'll all be like

it was in the beginning,

simple, golden eternity,

blessing all.

Nothing ever happened,

not even this.

There'll be farewells

and smiles.

My mother will be

waiting for me glad.

The corner of the yard

where Tyke is buried

will be a new

and fragrant shrine,

making my home

more homelike somehow.

Something good will come

out of all things yet,

and it will be golden

and eternal just like that.

There's no need

to say another word.

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