Big Trouble Page #6

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Now, I was able to perform...

...a radical reconstructive

surgery on Seor Rickey.

How can you restore a face

that was completely ripped off?

- That is not easy, my friend.

- Impossible.

Nothing is impossible if you believe

with the heart. Yes, Seor Hoffman?

I don't know these things.

Hey, doc, cut the sh*t.

Let's go.

Presenting the late Seor Rickey.

Is that him, Len?

That's him, all right.

Tremendous job, doc, gotta say.

- Started with nothing?

- Oh, it's tremendous work.

In order to reconstruct

the nose, for example...

...I was forced to use a portion

of his penis.

- You used part of his pecker?

- Si, si.

- That's amazing.

- Oh, yes.

Just don't rub the nose.

Don't rub his nose?

Very good, doc.

- Like Pinocchio. You hear that, Len?

- Very funny joke.

Don't rub his nose!

That's a hell of a job, doc.

Hell of a job. Can't even see the scar.

Careful. Don't touch, because medic has

not quite finished the process, it's...

- He did an autopsy this afternoon?

- Yes, yes, yes, yes.

- And?

- The cause of death is the broken neck.

Broken neck. Son of a b*tch.

Broken neck's a broken neck.

No, no. Broken neck,

you gotta pay for broken neck.

You have to pay, you have to pay.

- I'll tell you something, doc.

- Si?

- I have a different theory.

- You don't like the broken neck?

My theory is...

My theory is...

...this bastard's still alive.

We lost this one.

What'd I tell you?

The whole thing was screwy.

Face ripped off.

- You're all under arrest, every one of you!

- Get some tape, tie him up.

We're gonna kidnap you, John.

You're gonna come with us.

- Len, will you help me over here?

- Mr. O'Mara, remember where you are.

- Please.

- Get him out of here. Where's my clothes?

Len!

Let me at them!

Get away from me!

Len!

- Who's got my pants?

- Seor Rickey, here's the pants.

- There is no problem.

- Leonard, get in the car.

Leonard!

We just chalk that up to experience,

Leonard.

You can't win them all, kid.

Get in the car.

Well, we blew it, doc.

Could've been the makeup.

- What happened?

- Nothing to be alarmed at.

Couple loose ends we gotta pick up.

We're still on track.

What happened?

Does anybody want air conditioning?

How about you, Len?

Len's not talking. He's out to lunch.

Which is good.

Is this over? Are we still getting

the money?

Sure, we're gonna get the money.

"Congratulations," said the doctor.

"You're the father of three fine boys.

- And they all look exactly like you."

- Who looks like who?

- Who looks like who? Leonard?

- Honey, he's not actually talking.

He's just reminiscing.

Just let him enjoy himself.

- I'd like to go to the bus station.

- You're right...

- What for?

- We'll use them for middle names.

- That sounds more...

- Things are going good, sweetie.

- Not perfect...

- I wanted to be a musician...

The bus station, now.

Leonard, can you hear me?

- I understand, sir...

- I'm off to San Jose.

- I'm Blanche Linoor, the actress.

- Sweetie.

I'm gonna be appearing in

Man of La Mancha with Dick Cavett.

- I'm not saying anything...

- All right, that's it!

- What?!

- Finished.

Steve! What are you, crazy?

What are you doing?

- Out, Blanche.

- What?

Let's go! Out!

What did I do?

Blanche.

I don't expect bouquets, Blanche,

but a little understanding.

We kidnapped

the insurance investigator.

I put a lot of thought into this scheme,

stayed awake nights.

Rented the birds. Nagle, the bald guy.

Hey, this is all good stuff!

Sardine liqueur. Wildlife motif.

I'm not saying it wasn't brilliant.

I'm just saying it didn't work.

Didn't work? Why? Just because we hit

one little snag and lost the body?

Steve, we've kidnapped

the insurance investigator.

Two little snags.

He knows you're alive. He sees you

walking. He sees you talking.

Honey, listen. You know,

I can't deal with this...

...because you take the heart out of me.

Everything you say is negative.

- Who can function in this atmosphere?

- I don't think you're hearing me.

We are on the verge of millions...

...and you wanna take a bus to

San Jose so you can act with Dick Cavett.

What verge? What millions?

Did you see that?

We almost lost Leonard.

Did you see that?

What, it's my fault?

- Well, whose fault is it, mine?

- Yes.

- My fault?

- I believe so, yes.

My fault!

Everything is my fault!

Inflation is my fault...

...your father's snoring, that's my fault.

Everything is my fault!

All afflictions. Baldness, heartburn,

that's me, Blanche.

Khomeini? I'm in back of Khomeini.

Everything. Steve Rickey.

I don't care what Glenn Gould did.

If you dip your fingers...

...in bowls of water, they get electric.

I'm writing to my family. A statement

of principles and philosophy.

- Good. Do that on the side, Len.

- I'm tired. I gotta take a break now.

- A short break.

- Len. Trucks come over here.

He's a brilliant guy. But sometimes

I just can't get through.

So don't talk to yourself anymore.

Don't get nervous.

Now, I'd love to go on with you.

You know, together.

We could go up to Winslow's...

...and we'll make that settlement...

...get the money. And if we don't

make it, we'll both grab him.

Grab him by the throat, turn him

upside down and we'll kidnap him.

What do you say?

I'm gonna bend over.

If you agree, touch my back.

If you don't agree, don't touch me.

All right. I'll go in, ask him

for 4 million tonight.

He's gonna offer 2. We'll settle

for 3. A million and a half each.

- All right with you? You gotta go for it.

- Sounds right!

The house is dark. It's completely

deserted, there's nobody home...

...let's get out of here.

- We'll go rob the place.

- Good idea!

- Right?

- They're rich, they've got dogs.

- Dogs? What are you talking, dogs?

- Alarm systems.

- Dogs love me.

- Don't think they've heard of...

- Forget alarms!

- Don't be an idiot!

- Two minutes, we're out!

We're not taking anything heavy.

Light stuff that travels.

You gonna listen to her or what?!

I wanna go in and rob.

- We can stay there as long as we want.

- Good enthusiasm. Let's go.

She's an actress. She's theatrical.

And she's frightened for me.

- I'd miss that if that wasn't there.

- I don't wanna hear this.

- I wanna concentrate on the robbing.

- Heart of gold, though. Heart of gold.

Family's from New Jersey,

so you know she's well brought up.

That's it. There you go.

As long as you do it with style...

...then nothing else matters.

What do we do now?

Well, now we go around

to different rooms, you know.

And you see what you like,

and if you like it, you take it.

- And if you don't like it, don't take it.

- Right.

Be discriminating.

Don't take what you don't like.

Right.

Come here. Come here.

That's what I want.

- That's a very good choice, Leonard.

- Thank you.

- A Michelangelo.

- I had a feeling.

- That's the pick of the litter, Leonard.

- Thank you very much.

What do we do, break the glass?

Jimmy it.

- In here?

- In there.

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