Bing feng: Chong sheng zhi men

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Route 3, Hong Kong.

Boss. On my way back.

Work! Work, horsey!

Crap. Hold on there. Damn it!

Hold on there, Terminator! Go!

Come on!

Damn it!

Crap!

Help. Call... an ambulance.

Holy cow! Is this the

freaking Terminator?

God damn!

There're persuers!

He Ying, accept the

imperial decree.

I have been upright and

honest all my life.

How would I do that?

India, 1621 A.D.

(1ST YEAR OF THE TIANQI REIGN)

Golden Wheel of Time is a

sacred object from Borneo.

A Sindhu epic Ramayana says...

5,000 years ago, Borneo Prince Raju

left his country to fight with devils.

Before leaving, he

promised Princess Same...

to come back safely when

the five stars aligned.

But the war went on and on

and Raju missed the day,

Sama thought Raju was

dead and killed herself.

Raju knew the god Shiva loved

rainbow Datura flowers,

he then took good care of the

plant and Shiva was touched.

Shiva gave him "Golden

Wheel of Time",

a time travel tool,

so that he could go back in time

and stop Sama from

killing herself.

Golden Wheel of Time has been

passed down among human ever since.

Golden Wheel takes

person back to

the time when the

five stars aligned.

The five stars aligning

connects the past with future.

Turn Golden Wheel thrice

and it will self-destruct.

The tool works for

three times only,

rumor has it someone apart

from Raju has used it once.

Thus, please advise

the Ming Emperor...

to use the last shot wisely.

What is it?

It's called Linga in Sanskrit...

believed to be Shiva's penis.

Enormous penis?

To activate Golden Wheel,

you need to insert Linga...

and recite the secret mantra.

Ian Kwai Fong, Hong

Kong, midnight.

Ox-head! Horse-face!

You bastards!

Tell Death God that

it's not my time yet!

You want to lock me away?

Not that easy, Horse-face!

What's your problem? I'm

just eating my noodles.

May, don't go over!

Don't bother him.

Yeah.

Royal bodyguard!

Wing Lee Street,

Sheung Wan, midnight.

(INDIAN)

Come on man, hurry up!

(INDIAN) I'm on it right now,

why don't you do it yourself?

(INDIAN)

I'm the boss,

just do what I said.

Yo, curry chicken! It's good.

Milk tea, drink up!

Stop running!

Drop those manhole covers!

Run!

Officers under attack!

Why are people nowadays so weak?

Have martial art skills

failed to be handed down?

Give me back my curry chicken!

Freeze!

Freeze!

This gun is powerful!

I've been waiting

for you, Niehu.

Where've you been all this time?

I'm starving.

These are some serious boobies.

Hey, I haven't read it yet!

Let me read first.

Your turn first again?

You should give

precedence to the young.

How about He Ying?

Let's track him down tomorrow.

Wow! This one is even better!

She's pantless!

Help!

Help!

Hey, this way. Take

a seat over there.

Mr. Bodyguard!

I just bought you noodles.

Now I buy you a drink.

All drinks on me tonight!

Awesome! Thanks!

Hey hero!

It's so cool you kicked that guy's ass.

Isn't it?

That jerk never pays for his drinks.

He deserves it.

Bro...

Later!

Hey...

People here are so licentious,

they ought to be

drowned to death.

Excuse me, where are we now?

Ian Kwai Fong.

What year is it then?

Who's the Emperor?

Why must you ask?

There's no emperor now.

It's 2013.

Let me tell you...

You said you're from

Ming dynasty...

After Ming dynasty,

there were...

Ming Dynasty has fallen?

And I've slept for 400 years?

Young emperor never worked

hard and corruption abounded.

Heavy taxes. Brutal oppression.

It's just a matter of time before

rebels subvert the government.

The late emperor had

been kind to me

I failed to protect my country.

I pledge guilty.

I failed to protect my country.

Guilty as hell.

Shau Kei Wan, early morning.

This well water tastes

salty and stinky.

Wake up. A thief broke in!

Wake up!

He looks kind of familiar.

Breakfast delivery! What

are you guys doing there?

Look up! Up there!

Ying? Why are you up there?

Ying, stop it!

I'm not the fat guy

you talked about!

Damn you!

India-China Border, 1621 A.D.

Winter (1ST YEAR OF TIANQI REIGN)

He Ying, accept the

imperial decree.

Hold it! Let's make this clear.

He Ying, you conspired with Japanese

pirates. How could you let us down?

When did I conspire

with Japanese pirates?

You taught me sword fighting.

Now I return the favour.

What are you doing?

Ying, our brotherhood

ends here and now!

Ying, you can't oppose

to the Emperor's order.

I hate people colluding

with Japanese pirates.

He Ying, accept the

imperial decree.

By the mandate of heaven,

this Emperor decree hereby.

He Ying, fourth-rank General of Royal

Bodyguards, failed my expectations...

and conspired with

Japanese pirates...

killing 76 lives in the minister

of justice, Master Du's family,

by extremely brutal means.

Now I strip him of power and office.

He will be handed for interrogation.

Anyone who resists this

order will be killed.

Hitherto, by the

Emperor himself.

I have been upright and honest all my life.

How would I do that?

You speak up!

It's you who forced me to conspire

with the Japanese pirates.

Damn you! You are clearly

framing me for treason!

I have to meet his majesty and

clear myself of the accusations.

Treason gets all your close and

extended family members executed.

His majesty is

sending a squad of

elite soldiers to Taoyuan

Village for execution.

Hahahau.

Hahahau.

The late Emperor in heaven...

I, He Ying, can never let

innocent people be killed.

Forgive me for my disrespect.

That's how the they

got buried in snow.

Did I miss anything? Ying?

Like in "Back to the Future?"

Chubby!

Call me Slander.

Mr. Slander, I was a bit

confused just now...

and used more violence

than needed...

You're forgiven.

Liu Bang!

I'll call Liu Bang for you.

He sure can help.

I'll call his son Liu Bei.

Who should I call then?

Call Andy Lau.

Girls, are you leaving me?

Are you leaving just like that?

He's so pathetic...

and you can't use up all

this space yourself,

why don't you let him stay?

What's wrong with you?

Did he crush your brain?

He's a guy. How can

I let him stay?

Mr. Slander.

I sincerely thank you

for your hospitality,

but it's getting late and

I don't want to

take up your time.

Miss May, I'll forever remember

your kindness for

the lovely meal.

Farewell.

Ying, you're leaving

just like that?

How can you go out in that look?

What look?

Your appearance of course.

Causeway Bay, afternoon.

Are you missing a

mirror at home?

Stupid extras.

Go to the TV station and ask

for Oprah if you want a job.

Hmm.

Young man, give me a minute

to discuss with you.

What do you want?

You bastards!

I must learn martial art!

Boss, you want to date a

martial artist this time?

Damn!

North Point, afternoon.

They bid up the price 50 times

on that stupid dog head.

I'm a rich man!

12 million Euros.

Transfer HK$48 million to Mr.

Tang's account immediately.

Got it.

Having a good partner is

everything in running a business.

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