Bio-Dome

Over the last few years...

mankind has been witness

to a continual parade...

of environmental disasters...

leaving many searching

for a ray of hope...

in an already bleak landscape.

This is it. Isnt it?

Geez, look at this.

Look at this! And its mine.

The place is the Arizona desert.

Here, a team of scientists

and investors...

led by Dr. Noah Faulkner,

has come together...

to create the first

space station on Earth...

a self-contained world,

a pure environment...

unspoiled, unpolluted...

a world that

no longer exists outside.

This Earth Day, Dr. Faulkner

and four carefully chosen...

highly qualified scientists

will seal themselves inside.

Their mission will be

to sustain life for one year...

while living in harmony

with nature.

Welcome to Bio-Dome.

Congratulations, Bio-Dome Five,

and good luck.

On your steady shoulders...

rests the hopes and dreams

of a scientific community...

perhaps the very survival

of the human race.

OK, ready?

Paper covers rock.

You lose, Buckwheat.

Sorry, you have

to assume the position...

because lm king

and youre the peasant.

I win, you lose!

OK, you ready?

Copy that, Squirly Control.

Stubby!

Squirly!

Should have been harder.

Perfect!

Hi, Mo-Mo, Porky!

Thanks for coming over!

Hey, Budley.

You guys ready to go?

See, thats the thing.

Were supposed to go with you

to this Earth Day thing.

Yeah.

Dont mimic me.

Easy, Squirly.

Listen, we cant go.

- Doyle had a bad accident.

- What?

Come here. Lll show you.

Look at his wrist.

Its quivering.

Oh, my God! What happened?

lm no doctor,

but I think hes brain-dead.

Yeah, and?

In tribute to Earth Day...

Doyle was on the couch trying

to take down the mahi-mahi...

and set it free!

Free Mahi-mahi...

if you will, and then kaboom!

Gravity snatched

the poor little boy...

and he fell down

like a rag doll.

Is this one of your

convenient little accidents?

Monique, look.

You call a huge welt

on the guys head an accident?

I cant make that up.

Please let me out, Mommy...

or at least slide

another pancake under the door.

My poor Doyley.

lll nurse you.

OK, lets play nurse.

I smell a scam.

No, thats Doyley.

Hes got a quivery colon.

Thats cute.

You promised to help us

pick up trash today.

Thats what

Earth Days all about...

saving the environment.

Girls,

youre thinking too globally.

You have to act locally.

We need to stay here

and help Doyle merge...

on the road to recovery.

All right, Bud.

You win again.

Win? This isnt a contest.

Its not a game here.

Give me a kiss.

What do you think?

Its not my fault

his brain cramped.

You little dick!

Brain cramp, my butt!

The only thing that hit

Doyles head is this book!

You cracked Doyles skull

to get out of this?

The book fell on him!

He fell on the book!

They collided!

Bullshit! Lts just like you

to weasel out...

of your responsibilities

on Earth Day.

This is Hands Across America

all over again.

I had arthritis.

Farm Aid?

I had fleas.

The Save-the-Whales rally?

Salt water makes Doyle bloat.

You guys are pathetic.

Thanks for coming, Mo!

Face it.

Were dating primates.

Theyre getting better.

Theyre taking yoga.

And youre the one

that keeps on raving...

about how flexible

Bud is getting.

There is something

about a man...

who can lick his own back.

We just have to be patient.

Freeing the mahi-mahi?

What kind of mind

thinks up crap like that?

They should be taught a lesson.

They should be punished.

This is Uncle Fred...

from the Carolina

School of Bartending.

What are you doing?

Grab it. Eat it.

The one with the corn.

You like it.

Good one.

Johnsons residence.

Bud Macintosh here.

Thats my name.

Ask me once.

lll say the same.

Hey, Budweezer.

Its the girls.

Hey, Mo-Mo.

Hows sanitation detail going?

Its great,

but were going to split.

We met these guys

from Arizona Tech...

and theyre taking us

to a kegger at Vasquez Lake.

What? You met men?

Of the male persuasion?

Theyre on the swim team.

Please hold.

Whats going on? What?

Monique, Doyle and I

just talked it over...

and we decided

you cannot go...

to that kegger party

at Vasquez Lakes...

with the swimmers.

What are you talking about?

Hold on, guys. Were coming.

Whatever, Bud.

Our girls have been seduced

by breaststrokers.

They bought it!

Swimmers.

Do you have any idea

how many diseases are in pools?

Especially

after we swim in them.

- I know!

- I cant believe this!

Shaved-down pool Nazis

oiling up our women...

and swimming with them

in an Olympic-sized toilet.

Ever see the bathing suits

they wear?

Grape smugglers.

Can you believe those girls?

Its not like were not into

saving the environment.

Alls I know is...

I wont lose my beloved

to some steroid-friendly...

web-footed,

porpoise-prissy punk!

Dont worry about it though,

because I think...

when they see

weve gotten off the couch...

theyll go into seizures.

- You think?

- Total.

Check out that mall, man.

Must be the grand opening.

"Bio-Dome."

Think that means

it goes both ways?

I dont know, but we do.

I dont think theres a kegger

at Vasquez Lakes.

Weve been had, Squirly.

Makes you kind of proud that

we got such crafty girlfriends.

Were lucky guys.

Thats for sure.

Vasquez Lake?

More like Vasquez crap hole.

There used to be fish here,

remember?

Yes, I do, Doyle.

A long time ago,

when we were kids.

Leave Bud alone, Mom!

lm teaching Bud how

to hold his breath underwater.

Much better, Bud.

Lets try for three minutes.

Those were the days.

Yeah, lll say.

Dont leave that there, Stub.

Free refills

with proof-of-purchase seal.

Nice call.

- Tribal!

- Tribal!

I got to take a piss.

- Can you cork it?

- Negatory.

Lets go at the mall

right there.

Welcome to Bio-Dome!

Welcome to the future!

Welcome to the place

lm going to drain my lizard.

Viva Los Bio-Dome

Viva Los Bio-Dome

After all

our careful planning...

the many years of meticulous

research and experimentation...

our dream is finally at hand.

Thank you.

Viva Los Bio-Dome

Viva Los Bio-Dome

Rip Van Tinkle-fest.

Dr. Noah Faulkner.

Thank you. Thank you.

We stand today

at the bridge to a future...

where man and the ecosystem

can live in harmony...

and make it possible for us...

not only to balance

our own fragile planet...

but one day to sustain life

on new worlds far, far away.

You have entrusted us

with an awesome responsibility.

Swift, swift, swift.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

How can I help you fellas?

Can my friend go inside

and pee in your mall?

It didnt occur to him

to do it at the lake.

Back off, punks.

Sir, yes, sir!

Loosen up, bacon boy.

Just want to go inside

and take a pee...

and then we got to go.

What up with that, G?

You girls want to get physical?

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

- Exhale, Stubbs.

- I kill you.

Whoa, a little demonite.

Look, exhale, Stubbs.

Just chill.

Go, go!

Sorry about this.

Please, I would like

to introduce my team.

Ms. Olivia Biggs,

our geologist.

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