Bio-Dome Page #2

Mr. T.C. Romulus,

our entomologist.

Ms. Petra Von Kant,

our oceanographer...

and Ms. Mimi Simkins,

our agriculturalist.

I cant do it here.

Tiny Elvis has stage fright.

Just think of the water.

Just let it go. Hurry.

I cant do it here.

In the hopes of bettering

our environment...

Come on.

Give me your smoke.

With the cutting

of this ribbon...

a new era in science

and technology begins.

What are you doing?

Watch.

Over there,

by that grassy knoll!

Assassins! Assassins!

- I cant get up!

- Holy Kennedy!

Section 2, code 3. 10-4.

What kind of mall is this?

Theres no stores or food courts

or toiletries.

Theres got to be a toiletry

here somewhere.

Now, look at all

the vegetation...

for your fertilization.

It seems someone was

a little eager to celebrate.

God bless you.

I know how you feel.

lve been waiting

for this moment a long time.

Give me the scissors.

Warning. Warning. Warning.

Toxins being introduced

in the rain forest.

Homeostasis is at 99.1 percent.

Here we go.

See you in a year.

Good luck.

- You OK?

- Pulled a nad.

Lets get out of

this Jurassic mall...

find our girls...

and take care of what

we need to take care of.

Hey! Look! Look!

- Get them out of there!

- Oh, my God.

Doyle, I dont think

this is a mall.

Get them out of there!

Youve got to be kidding me.

My bug!

Son of a b*tch.

Here we go.

Mr. Leaky, has there been

a security breach?

Who are these men?

Has the Bio-Dome

been contaminated?

No, no.

Ladies and gentlemen,

surprise, surprise.

We are pleased

to announce the arrival...

of our two

special scientists.

Beam me up, Stubby.

- Jim, hes a Vulcan!

- This way.

This preplanned addition

to Team Bio-Dome...

is intended to simulate

the Chaos Theory...

as we encounter it in nature.

Well have plenty more

information on this...

a little later on,

and lll get back to you...

but as you see,

right now we have work to do.

Work to do.

Who could be stupid enough...

to think Bio-Dome was a mall?

Bud Macintosh

and Doyle Johnson.

Generation X road kill...

on the superhighway

of progress.

Theyre not terrorists.

Its worse.

Theyre junior college

students from Tucson.

They really thought

it was a mall.

Faulkner, get them out now!

The doors are sealed

for one year.

I cant open the doors.

If I open the doors...

the integrity of the

scientific data is compromised.

Everything depends on

the time frame of one year.

Screw the time frame!

I have 100 million

invested in this.

I dont intend to lose it

because two twits from Tucson...

cant tell a mall toilet

from a damned rain forest!

Squirl, break the ice.

Excuse me, miss.

Are you tired?

I beg your pardon?

Are you tired?

No. Why?

Because youve been running

through my mind all day.

Excuse me, miss.

If you were yogurt,

would you be...

fruit-at-the-bottom

or stirred?

This is your problem.

Fix it.

Then they have to stay.

Our preparation was

for five people, not seven.

Adding two more

at this stage...

throws the whole system

off balance.

Then the system will adapt.

Did it hurt?

Did what hurt?

When you fell from Heaven,

did it hurt?

Bud, Doyle, hello!

lm Dr. Noah Faulkner.

You may recognize me

from television.

You the guy

with the spray-on hair?

Anyway, as lm sure

you already know...

you have stumbled

into an exciting new world.

Tell me, have you ever

dreamt of being famous?

When I was little,

I wanted to be a rock star...

because I could do this

with my finger.

But as I got older,

I realized the reality...

of the corporate

rock world sucked.

Besides,

you only knew one song.

Ironman, Ironman

Does whatever an iron can

Pancake flat, like a glove...

Hold it!

Thats Spiderman.

Black Sabbath did Iron Man.

Oh, come on.

What, do you

think youre so smart?

Think youre

some rocket scientist?

Yes.

Sorry.

What do you boys want

out of life?

To die and come back

as a leotard?

Well, I may be able...

to offer you a springboard

to that future.

We would like you

to stay with us.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wait a minute, man.

You guys arent

one of those freaky clans?

Dancing naked, you want us

to take off our clothes...

youre going to feed us

weird punch...

No.

- Damn.

- Sh*t. We almost had it.

It was this close.

Boys, this is

where youll be staying...

and I want you

to feel right at home.

Wed be obliged if we could get

some nice cushy beds.

With Magic Fingers?

Like the ones at the mall...

that big tourists

lie in for free.

They plop down.

The kids are around.

"Daddy, look at

the little thing!"

And it just rolls...

See? I have a sciatic.

Actually,

we have no extra beds.

- A normal mattress?

- Without rollers?

Sorry, no.

Here, guys.

Petra and I can live

without this stuff.

I know its not much.

Have you ever been with

a Squirl and a Stub?

For the pillow.

You lose the pillow.

For the blanket.

You lose the blanket.

For fun.

I cant sleep.

I cant sleep either.

Lets go find us some beds.

Get out of here!

Wake up. Smell the coffee.

Good morning

and congratulations, all.

We have survived night one.

Congratulations, Doyle!

And the best thing is...

homeostasis

was maintained all night.

No!

It is bad enough

that for the next year...

I must share

my air, food, and water...

with these Neanderthals...

but I will not share

my tools of hygiene.

Relax. Its sanitized.

I dunked it in Olivias Scope.

- Simian!

- Dick!

You guys wanted us to stay, OK?

Think back.

"Springboard into the future."

We didnt prepare

for this voyage.

We need clean teeth, too.

All right?

His teeth... look.

You are absolutely right.

You should be brought

up to speed.

It is time for a tour.

Boys. Boys.

From here, you can see...

all the regions

of the Bio-Dome...

the rain forest,

tropical lagoon, farm...

and the great desert.

Every effort was made

to duplicate them precisely...

and all of this

is your home now.

But remember,

the survival of this system...

is dependent upon homeostasis.

That means a balance...

within

an enclosed system itself.

Could we get some binoculars?

Lets make a rule.

Everything

that you did at home...

youre forbidden to do here.

Everything?

Shave poochie poochie.

Shave poochie poochie.

Everything.

- OK.

- All right.

Dont move.

lll be right back.

But I got a wicked itch

on my nads.

Dont move.

I got a wicked itch on my nads.

Faulkner said dont move.

I cant take it anymore!

I cant take it!

I guess this means

were our own tour guides.

All right, everybody...

do not feed the animals,

stay together...

and no flash photography.

And remember,

here at Bio-Dome...

were dependent on balancing

homos within the system.

Now everybody

stay with the group.

Follow me this way.

Jerk, you shouldnt

have hit me so hard.

Oh, my God, come here.

Hey, theres no knob here!

Oh, God, here we go.

Olivia, whats with this door?

lts not opening.

Of course it wont open.

That door wont open again

for an entire year.

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