Bird On A Wire Page #5

"Bye, ma"am.

Hallelujah!

He"s there. Not till 6:00, but he"s there.

He had to go to the doctor. Demon out!

He"s got a job in the zoo.

He got me a job there once.

Did I tell you about

when I worked at the zoo...

I don"t wish to hear about the zoo.

I wish to get out of these bushes.

l"m wearing cashmere in 100 heat.

I don"t feel like waiting till 6:00.

- Well...

- Yeah?

I know someplace we can go.

It"s on the way.

If you don"t mind riding for a couple hours.

- Think you can do that?

- Yeah.

- What are you saying?

- Nothing.

Either say it or don"t say it, all right?

Rise and shine.

- I need a night"s sleep.

- Ace!

Come here.

You son of a b*tch. You"re still alive.

Hopefully she"II get better

when she"s had the operation.

Jodie?

Rach. How are ya?

- I never thought l"d see you again.

- I guess you"re surprised to see me.

- You look great.

- Talk about dropping out of the blue.

This guy built half this place

and disappeared.

l"m sorry, this is Marianne Graves.

- This is Dr. Rachel Varney.

- Hello.

- You used to work here?

- Yeah.

I was a carpenter and a general...

Pilot, designer, everything.

And then just one day, gone.

l"m sorry about that.

I had to leave in a hurry.

A man was looking for you after you left.

He"s still looking for me.

- What happened?

- Shot me in the butt.

Quite a game of tag you two play.

Let me see.

It"s just a little buckshot.

It went straight through.

Not if it"s bleeding. Let me take a look.

Take your pants down.

Not out here.

What are you, shy? L"ve seen it before.

l"m sorry. Are you his wife?

Are you kidding? No way.

You two just go ahead and whatever.

l"II call a cab.

That"s not a good idea.

She"s insane with fatigue.

She needs something to eat,

a bed and a bath.

l"m sorry.

You can use the guest house

to wash up and sleep.

- Jodie, can you stay the night?

- I don"t know.

Go ahead, Rick. Be a sport.

- She always calls me Rick.

- I won"t get in your way.

- It"s not like that, really.

- Yes, it is.

- It was.

- It was.

He picked me up, put me back on my feet.

Showed me how to do everything.

- I bet he did.

- You should see the barn.

It all worked.

Every single idea you had worked.

- The big animal practice is back there.

- Takes one to know one.

- The horse sling"s wondertul. Want to see?

- Yeah. Let"s go.

- You never saw anything work.

- I never knew it would.

- It did.

- Marianne, come on.

l"m sure she doesn"t want to bother.

She"s exhausted.

l"d like to see that horse sling.

"'Heigh-ho, Silver!"' Look at that.

Isn"t that wild? They thought it was nuts

when I showed them the plans.

I thought it was nuts when I did them.

Come see this.

- It works great.

- It works.

- Nice job.

- L"m a genius.

We"II let the inventor use his table.

Drop "em and hop up.

- Do you need her to leave?

- L"II stay.

l"ve seen it before, too.

Great. You can assist.

Get the peroxide and sponges

from the cabinets over there.

Come on. Take your pants off

and get on the table.

- Come on. Don"t be a baby.

- Be gentle with me, okay?

l"II think about it.

l"II be gentle.

That"s cold.

The cows never seem to mind.

- Roll over.

- Roll over.

Do I get a Milkbone?

What did you have in mind?

Let"s take a look.

- How is it?

- Not bad, but it"s not great. Clean it up.

- What"s that?

- I don"t know.

Sulfuric acid.

What are you doin"?

I hate those things.

- You okay?

- Fine.

- Feel that?

- Feel what?

- There it is.

- What?

Sponge.

- I think you need a little fresh air.

- No, l"m fine.

l"II send your cowboy right out.

Maybe just a whiff will help me.

She"s tired,

and she needs something to eat, too.

So, who is she?

- She"s just an old friend.

- Yeah, right.

- Really. An old friend.

- Are you sure about that?

When you got a knife up my ass, I am.

How bad is it,

this "'thing"' you"re running from?

Pretty bad.

Think you"d ever beat it

and want to come back here someday?

If I could beat it, l"d go anywhere.

l"m asking because

l"m engaged to be married.

"'Flagellations."' That"s great.

l"d rethink it...

...if I thought you might

come back this way someday.

You always were direct, Rachel.

- You"re done.

- Thanks.

How long have I got?

The wedding"s on Sunday.

l"m a bad bet, you know.

Much happiness. Come here.

Excuse me for a minute.

You never hustled like that

when I was angry.

Are you okay?

- Forget it.

- Forget what?

I need a phone to get out of here

so you two can live happily ever after.

It"s not like that. She was...

In your arms and you were naked. I saw it.

- It"s nothing.

- And my name is Dumbo. Who cares?

What"s it to you? Why should you care?

- You"re happily married, yeah?

- L"m not.

- You"re not happy?

- Not married.

- No?

- It just didn"t work out.

He was a prick.

You"re better off without him.

My heart can"t take this again.

Remember the time I saw

that flying saucer?

We were smoking

some pretty heavy stuff back then.

I think I see another one.

What"s that?

Friends of yours?

- Go! L"II stay here.

- Right.

Let"s get out of here!

- "Bye, Rach. Thanks a lot.

- L"II cover you.

Let"s fly.

l"m gonna kill you!

- Hurry up, Rick!

- Ready for this?

Tie down your toupee.

- Can"t this thing go any faster?

- This is as fast as it goes!

Hang on!

Oh, my God!

l"m gonna throw up!

l"m not kidding!

- Are you crazy? What are you doing?

- I gotta take his rotor out.

- What the hell?

- What"s he doing?

Slow down! He"s cutting up the rotor!

We"re goin" down!

If you"ve got a belt, put it on.

And stick your head between your knees.

- What do I do now?

- Kiss your ass good-bye.

We got no wheels and we"re comin" down.

I don"t want to die!

Are we dead?

No.

But we will be if we don"t get out of here.

This can"t be good for you.

Help me.

Hang on.

Let"s go. This thing still might blow up.

It"s been five years.

I haven"t lost my touch.

It"s like riding a bicycle.

You never forget it.

I can"t take this anymore.

l"m gonna go on the road and hitchhike.

I don"t care if they catch us and we die.

I need food. I need a bath.

I need a bed.

I need a massage.

I need a manicure.

I need to see my therapist.

I need a beer. Look at that.

It"s the promised land.

We have no money and no credit cards.

l"II talk to the guy in charge.

Give him this.

- Give him my watch.

- Hold me down.

If they don"t take that, sell my body.

I don"t care.

l"II try and get there

early afternoon tomorrow.

Thank you. "Bye.

Right here. Hallway.

See you in the morning.

Tomorrow at 7:
30, before you know it.

- Thanks, Norman.

- Good night.

Hiya, pooch.

- Marianne, are you in this one?

- There"s no lock and no door handle.

Watch the door. It falls of the hinges.

Why didn"t you choose another one?

The guy said, "'Take your pick."'

- The only one with a TV.

- So there is. Civilization.

I wonder if we"re on the news.

Sh*t!

There was nothing good on anyway.

l"ve just taken a shower.

l"m wearing a towel.

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