Birds of America Page #5

of Ida being blamed

for what happened

to Gary.

Oh, you are?

Yeah. Gary chose

to get hammered...

and drive his car

How is that

Ida's fault?

He wouldn't have done

it if she hadn't taken

off on him

like some

wanton slut.

Okay, don't... don't talk

about my little sister

that way.

Oome on, you

know it's true.

Ida's always been

a total tramp.

What Ida does says

nothing about

my character.

What Gary does

says nothing about

Ida's character.

There is such a

thing in America as

personal responsibility.

You know what?

You know what?

Ow!

Take it back.

Take it all back.

Ow!

Is that what

you like?

Ow, ow! Fine! I

take it back! Ah!

You're fuckln'

psychotlc, pal.

J ust like

the rest of

your sicko family.

Yes, but we're

nicer than you.

What the f***!

Someone has to protect

the vulnerable and

the innocent!

[Gay chatter]

(Ida)

Hey.

H i, Ida.

How are you?

Ellen, I 'm sorry.

I must have nodded

off a bit.

No worries.

Would you

like some coffee?

Are you hungry?

No, I have to run.

Are you sure?

Well, it's nice

to see you. You

look good.

Thanks.

Oongratulations.

Oh! Thank

you, thanks.

And you too. I

heard you're a blg

photographer now.

No, no.

Not really.

I heard that, too.

Oh. I've been exaggeratlng

to Morrle about

some stuff.

Oh, yeah?

I still take photos...

and I exhibit

here and there,

but to pay the bills...

I survlve dolng glamor

shots of transvestltes.

[Chuckles]

Seriously?

I did one for

a friend, and

word spread, so...

Well, that's alright.

Yeah, it

sounds interesting.

Anyway, I

should go.

Oh, wait. I have

something for you.

If we'd have known

you were gonna be

In town,

we would have

sent It earller.

I really hope

you can make it.

It's so nice

of you to offer.

I think I 'm gonna

be gone by then.

Anyway, I don't think

Paul and Laura

would approve.

Well, it isn't Paul and

Laura's wedding, is it?

So, tough sh*t

for them.

Right, baby?

Exactly right.

I really have to run.

U h-oh,

Spaghettl-o's.

Jay! No!

[Knocking]

Jay!

Hey!

[Scoffs]

No! Please, God!

No! Go around!

Go around!

(female volce)

Well, I dldn't

want to do that.

I mean, sometimes

I like to, but...

I don't want

him to check.

You know, I could

watch, maybe, but it

didn't seem like...

I, I 'm gonna have

to call you back.

[Bird chirps loudly]

(officer)

Okay! Good!

Don't move!

(Ida)

He's not movlng.

Please put the gun down.

Ida?

Will?

It's Phil.

How you doin'?

I had a great time

the other night.

Would you mlnd terrlbly

calllng us an ambulance,

please? Phll.

[Phone rlngs]

(male recorded volce)

HI, If you have

a message

for Joe, or Nancy

or Mlsha Kennedy,

leave It

at the...

[beep]

(Morrle)

Honey, It's me.

Okay, I had it.

My insane youth.

I hated lt.

Please come home.

Foot.

(Morrle)

So, what dld

they say?

Put ice on it.

You have

to keep

it clean.

No, what did

the police say?

They asked me

some questions.

They took

a D NA swab.

They're

doing everybody,

It's not just me.

Then why

dld you run?

Hablt?

Everybody and

thelr grandmother

weren't arrested

last week for...

Why don't

you tell us

what happened?

I touched a

little girl.

I had this idea that

I was gonna touch people.

I did touch people.

(female volce)

What the hell

are you...?

The cops came.

I went to the hospital.

They gave me stitches.

But because Momma

Bear gave me such

a concussion,

I had to stay

up all night.

So, in the morning I

went for a walk,

and that's when

I laid down.

And you were

really out of it.

I 'm relieved that

you're not a

child molester

but you can't

just go around

touching people?

People need

to be jolted.

No, people need

to be comforted.

You don't comfort them

by satisfying your own

curiosity about...

breaking down boundaries

and rules. Some people

really like their rules.

They've chosen them.

And you don't get to

choose what rules other

people obey or not. They do.

You see? This

is what I mean.

This is exactly what

I 'm talking about.

They are breaking my rules.

They are breaking

my boundaries!

And you... you are

just like them, Jay.

You are a terrorlst

and I am slck

of everyonel

Agh!

Are you okay?

Morrle?

Morrie?

No...

[Morrle grunts]

(Jay)

Let It gol

Morrle, let It gol

[screamlng,

laughlng, cheerlng]

Please.

Please.

Oh, my gosh!

Oh, my gosh!

What is it?

Oh! Ew!

[Chuckles]

Morrie did that.

Excuse me?

Morrie just...

did that

on my lawn.

What?

Morrie just

shat on

my lawn.

No.

Yes. And he attacked

Paul at school today.

He went cra-crazy.

He did?

He's sick, honey,

and now, I, I

don't blame you but

someone needs to

clean that up.

I need you or

Morrie to clean

that up. Please.

I n the next

ten minutes.

I, I just can't. Oh.

F*** off, Laura.

What?

You clean it up.

[Gasp]

Oh no!

Why?

[Soft muslc]

How is it?

Perfect.

[Soft muslc]

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