Birthmarked Page #7

(cracking)

Ah! Ah!!!

Why?

(high-pitched screaming)

Commie sonofabitch.

(crying):
Why you do that...

to me?

Why? Why the balls?

(narrator):
Ben and Catherine

exhausted every possible option,

both legal and illegal,

to retrieve their children,

but failed

time and time again.

- I see you're taking

the, uh, canoe paddle.

Hmm. Which is mine.

- Yeah, but you're living

in the city now, so...

I left you the spare.

And after 13 years

of marriage,

they parted ways.

Drive safe.

- Social Services helped

place the children

at the Saint-Patrick Academy,

a therapeutic boarding school

for kids coming

from difficult circumstances.

Sequestered from

their parents,

their integration

was immediate and seamless.

Maya was

a top-notch student...

- Push down. It melts the snow and reduces friction.

- What?

- ...excelling

in several disciplines.

Just go.

(shrieking)

- But had little interest

in her studies.

Maurice developed a keen

interest in Asian philosophies

and volunteered his time

as a referee

with the Saint-Patrick

Boxing Bandits.

- Anger is poison.

Always respect your opponent.

Fight fair. Carry on, boys.

- Luke joined

a group of artists

known

as The Saint-Patrick Four,

now rebranded

the Saint-Patrick Five,

who were committed to publicly

expressing their every instinct.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

I now present to you:

The Uniboob.

- Luke felt The Uniboob

was misunderstood

and channelled his energy

into a passion project.

Like the fool I am

and I'll always be

I've got a dream

I've got

a dream

Both parents

felt overwhelming agony

about being cut

from their children.

Catherine found solace

on the treadmill,

but her greatest

fear realized

moments before

the commercial break.

I know I could share it

if you want me to

If you're going my way

Gertz's publication

was ranked 17th

on the National

Bestseller list.

- "The doctors used their kids

like a chef uses an egg,

as an ingredient

for something greater.

The eggs were whipped and

beaten for 12 excruciating years

in an attempt to make

the ultimate omelet."

- They're dead to me.

- I never want to see them again.

I think I'm having a seizure.

(soft music)

(car approaching)

(engine stopping)

(car door opening and closing)

Hey.

You, uh... you've come back

for the paddle?

I thought you should see this.

I don't get it.

- Well, those are our kids.

They're the guinea pigs.

What guinea pigs?

- When is the last time

you left the house?

- I don't know. Last, uh...

Wednesday maybe.

Gertz published.

The whole school knows

who they are.

They're gonna be humiliated

and bullied or...

who knows what else.

I really screwed up, didn't I?

- Clean yourself up

and come with me, okay?

I'll... explain everything

in the car.

I'll wait outside.

Okay. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yep.

(indistinct conversation)

- May I help you?

- Hi, I'm Linda McCoy. I'm just here to see my kids.

- Who?

- Yeah, yeah, just some family business.

I'll be back in a jiff.

- Excuse me!

(sighing)

- Oh, my God.

Anything?

(squeaking)

(man):
Bend that front knee,

Jarred.

There you go.

Very good.

Lead with the arm, Brittany.

There you go! Excellent.

You guys see that?

That's great form.

In with the arm, Brit...

Uh... excuse me?

- Yeah.

- Can I help you?

- Uh...

We're just, we're just, uh...

we're looking for, uh...

we're looking for our kids.

- Oh!

- Do you have a permission slip?

- There's been a bereavement. Their

grandmother. Horrible accident.

- Okay, well, I can't really

release the kids without...

- We spoke to, uh... Phyllis.

- Guys, uh, just... stay here...

You're hurting my arm!

- Stop whining, son,

and pick up the pace.

(teacher):
Stop!

You need permission!

(quietly):
Go, go, go, go, go!

- Is there a key for this? -

I'll get the keys. - Alright.

Hi!

Honey. Okay, look, the, uh...

that book

is a gross exaggeration.

- It's a pack of lies.

- Yep.

- Not all of it.

- When did you plan on telling us the truth?

I tried to.

- When?

- The day you left.

- You said you were horny and needed some brew.

- Something about the Dutch.

- What? No. I said this is all a

mistake; I love you with all my heart.

- That's not what you said.

- I remember exactly what your mother said.

She said,

"We... we lied to you.

I'm sorry

and I love you very much."

- Who cares, okay? You lied

to us and used us for 13 years.

- It wasn't a lie. It didn't

feel like a lie, did it?

- It does now.

- Okay, look, look.

Yes, we...

...we made a mistake, okay?

But we did it with love.

I mean, we-we-we always wanted

the best for you. Always.

- Yes.

- Everything was for you.

- No, it wasn't, okay?

You're not us.

You don't know what it's like for us to

have parents like you, okay? You don't.

(knocking)

(man):
Mr. and Mrs. Morin?

I'm sorry, but we're gonna

have to open the door.

- Oh, God, could you just please

stop it with the Gestapo bullshit?!

Okay, please come out.

- Okay, that's...

- Okay. You let go.

- Okay, okay.

- Alright.

Guys?

(babel)

Guys? Okay,

you're gonna come with me.

- No, no,

don't pull her like that!

- Alright, alright, alright.

- Please come on.

- Hey, don't you touch me!

- Ma'am, you have to leave.

You have to leave.

- What is this, a...

- Ma'am.

- Don't... touch me!

Please, can you leave?

(soft music)

- Ma'am.

- I'm sorry.

- Hey, guys, get back.

- I can walk, okay?

I know how to walk. Is this

a f***ing school or a jail?

What did I say? Come on!

(sighing)

Follow me.

(whistling)

(Spanish exclamation)

(singing)

(cheering and applause)

- Muchas gracias!

(laughter)

Again, thank you all for coming.

Now, before I sign

all your books for you,

I've got a little treat.

Is Andre about?

(snapping fingers)

(crowd):
Ah.

Okay, Andre.

Don't be nervous now.

(woman chuckling)

- I read your book.

Well, the blurb.

Mariachi! (crowd gasping) (grunting)

Gracias... (crying out) (exclamations)

(narrator):
Gertz's injury

resulted in a deviated septum

and, as you know, if you've

ever had your septum deviated,

it can be

a pretty painful ordeal.

(Gertz):
Phyllis! Get back here!

I'm sorry.

- After 51 years of loyal

service to the Gertz family...

...I, too, decided to write

a new chapter in my life.

Gertz pressed charges

and Ben was convicted

of assault causing

bodily harm.

You're in, boy.

Over here!

- Surprisingly, incarceration was

a very positive experience for Ben.

Oof!

Good work, man. Let's go.

- Well,

I've visited regularly enough

to know that Ben

is a devoted father.

After only five weeks,

and thanks in part

to my testimony,

Ben earned early release

for good behaviour.

...respect instilled

self-confidence...

- Upon the parole board

determining

that it is in the best interest

of the accused,

and not contrary

to the public interest,

the board orders that the

accused be granted a discharge

that is conditional

to successfully completing

a period of probation

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