Bitch Page #4

and we'll have to change schools

to public schools.

I mean, what...

What kind of a man am I?

- Listen, we...

I understand

that you don't want Jill

to go to a hospital

but there's something

really wrong with her.

You get that, right?

- Do-do you know

how Jill and I met?

Did she ever tell you

that story?

- Yeah.

Jill told me like,

a million times.

- You know, um...

Can't...

I just...

Oh, it's just...

I just can't...

- Hey, hey.

Hey, hey, it's okay.

It's okay.

- Sometimes I just wish that...

my dick was smaller.

Like, if my dick was smaller

none of this

would have happened.

Uh...

Uh, did she ever talk to you

about it?

- Wait, what?

Uh, uh, about your dick?

- Yeah.

- No, bill.

- Oh...

Sorry.

- Listen, my parents

are going to come to see her.

- No.

No. Why?

That will be so shameful.

I already feel like

I failed her.

- Well, you have, bill,

you have.

I'm sorry,

but they need to see her.

They need to see their daughter.

- Beth, please, please.

Please don't do this.

Your parents

already hated me before this

and I'm, I'm, I'm lost.

And this is not about saving

face. I promise, this is...

I just...

I don't want my wife

to be cuckoo.

I don't want Jill

to be sent to some kind

of mental institution.

I can't subject Jill and

the kids to that kind of life.

There has to be

some other alternative.

- Okay, um...

There...

There are some things

that I need to take care of.

- Okay.

- Outside of here.

- For my life.

- Mm-hmm.

- But I will be back.

I-i promise, okay?

Do you think that you are ready?

- Yo, yeah.

I mean, are you kidding me?

I'm, I was born ready.

Tiffany, sorry.

- Dad, you almost made me spill

the last

of the cold kokum water.

We don't have any food left.

We're so hungry.

Jed's been trying to eat dog

food for the past three days.

And if he can figure out how

to open the can, then he will.

So, what are you

going to do about it?

- Uh...

Uh...

You just looked like your mom

for a second. Um...

- Oh, my god!

You're, you're not even

listening to me.

You don't even care

about what I'm saying.

- Yes. No. Yes, I do. Tiff,

I heard. I heard everything.

I heard everything.

Come here, come here.

- It's okay.

- Why won't you listen to me?

- No, no, no.

- What's happening?

- It's okay. It's alright.

It's cool.

- What's going on?

- It's alright...

-we're gonna be homeless

and we're gonna get diseases

and die.

- No, no, no. -We're going to live

under a bridge or something.

- When we weren't dead?

- No, no, no, no.

No, Jed.

It's okay, it's alright.

Here, come-come here, everybody.

Let's, let's,

let's sit down. Here.

Okay.

I know that this is confusing

and I know that you're

all scared, and-and I am, too.

I really am,

but we're a still family.

Okay?

- But, mom's a dog.

- Yeah, bud, yeah, she is a dog

but she's still your mom.

And we are going to stand by her

no matter what.

Okay?

Because mom needs us.

So, we gotta be tough

and we're gonna

get through this.

Okay, we're gonna

get through this together.

Yeah.

- But what if mom

never ever changes back?

- How are you, bill?

- Well, f-fantastic.

- You know, it would really be

unethical for me

to mention anything

about... your wife

in any conversation

regarding job performance.

- Right.

- So, tell me this.

What the f*** is going on

with your wife?

- Uh, well, eh...

It's a bit, it's a bit complex.

- You know, you can't be

out of pocket like this.

- No, I understand,

I understand that.

And, uh,

we are on a good path now.

And if you just bear with us

for a little bit longer, uh...

- Bill, you should stop talking.

- Okay, okay.

- Now, you know,

this part of my job

isn't very easy, is it?

- Lately, things have just...

- Uh, hang on.

Wait a minute.

- This is not a negotiation,

bill.

- Don't.

Please, please, Stephen.

Just-just wait,

just wait a second.

- Bill, listen, let's just not...

- wait!

- Bill.

- Wait. Could you just wait?

- Just for one second, please!

- Okay!

Okay, bill, I'm waiting.

Just...

Thank you.

Okay.

Okay, Stephen, listen to this.

This is gonna be great.

- Okay.

- The home program.

- The home program.

- Well, um, the home program

is a program

where, uh, executives can, uh...

essentially work, uh...

- Work from home.

- Exactly.

Now, think about this, think

about, think about the goodwill

that the firm will get

from this.

- The home program for the home.

- Bill

- it's a company

that-that doesn't

only care about the bottom line.

It's a company

that cares about people.

This is a company

that cares about families.

I mean, this is good.

This is good PR stuff.

This is fortune 500 stuff.

This is Oprah calling you.

- You know? What do you think?

- Bill, I don't think so.

I'm, I'm-I'm going to have to...

- okay, don't, don't,

d-don't say it.

Okay, okay, okay,

let's forget that

forget the home program.

Uh...

- Jesus Christ.

- Just what if...

What if,

what if you give me my bonus

a little bit early

and then I can hire a nurse

and a live-in nanny?

And I'll be, I'll be, uh,

back at my desk 24 hours a day,

7 days a week.

It'll be exactly like

it was before.

- Bill, I, I can't. Please.

- Please, please, please,

Stephen. Please.

I don't,

I don't have anything else.

Don't take this from me, okay?

I will do anything,

I'll do anything.

Anything, anything

anything, anything.

- Three months' severance.

Go home to your kids.

- Kids!

- Follow the skunk.

- Come here, mom.

- Follow the skunk.

It's walkin' away.

It's walkin' away.

Yeah, look at the alligator.

Look at the alligator.

- Come on.

- But my skunk's better.

- Look at the skunk.

- Mom!

- Hey, hey, guys,

uh, I don't think

mom is feeling like

playing with us right now.

So, uh, why don't we

leave her alone and...

Let's go get ice cream?

- Yes.

- Yes!

Okay.

Who wants to give their dad

a bite of ice cream?

- Not me.

- Totally not me.

- Me.

- Ah-hah.

Thank you, Cin.

- Mm! What is that, mint?

- Mm-hmm.

- Is that your favorite flavor?

- Mint is my favorite flavor.

- Chocolate. Yes, chocolate.

- Jed, we have the same flavor.

- Um...

- Kids, go in the house.

- Who is that?

- Just go inside now.

- Come on, guys.

- Go on.

Where are you parked?

- This is you?

- Yeah.

- Fantastic.

What are you doing here?

- I am worried about you.

I've called you, like,

ten times.

- Is everything okay?

- Yes, yeah. Everything's fine.

Annabelle, listen,

I can't see you anymore.

I know you'll find someone

who is right for you

and who has room in his life

for you, but, uh, listen, bye.

- Bye. Thank you.

- Wait. Hold on...

Wait a second, bill.

What's going on?

People are saying weird stuff.

- Private, uh, family matter.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- Wow.

- So...

- Your dog sounds pissed.

- Yeah. Um...

Beth, can you give us a minute?

- Is this her?

- Beth, please,

just l-let me handle it.

- I can't f***in' believe you.

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