Bitter Moon Page #3

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I'm allergic to beards.

Are you allergic to cripples?

Oh!

Well, after an intro like that,

how could we refuse?

Fine, it's settled, then.

Off you go, baby.

Thanks.

Have fun.

Mmm. Mimi doesn't share

my aversion.

In fact, she's not too choosy

in general.

Can't be.

She couldn't have married me.

What a girl.

Knocking 'em dead

as usual.

( chuckling )

Just wine for me, white.

Anything as long

as it's not retsina.

Yes, Mimi's very lovely.

But you-- I still don't know

your name, by the way.

Fiona.

Fiona. I hope you won't

think me forward,

but I find your own brand

of beauty more subtle.

It has that inimitably

British quality--

a kind of reticence that hints

at untapped potentiality.

- ( laughs )

- French Chablis, sir.

Nigel's been tapping

my potentialities for years.

Haven't you, Nigel?

Well, Nigel?

Well, come on,

your lovely wife

has just implied

that she's lost

all her mystery for you.

True or false?

No, I mean, I think there's

probably a corner of everyone

that remains to be explored.

Halfhearted,

but better than nothing.

Well, Fiona,

He's right, though.

Everyone has secret nooks

and crannies.

Every relationship,

no matter how harmonious,

contains seeds of farce,

tragedy.

Mmm.

I do not like the look

of that sky much.

I hope the weather's

going to hold.

Jesus, don't tell me

you're taking refuge

in the weather.

You know what I hope?

I hope the ship goes down

and we're all marooned

on a desert island.

I'd wind up

the sole survivor.

That's charming.

And why do you say that?

Because no one would be

tempted to cannibalize

my shriveled carcass.

( Oscar laughing )

I hope he hasn't

been boring you.

No, not at all.

Your husband

has a great sense of humor.

Black humor,

but still, he's been keeping us

thoroughly entertained.

- Oscar:
See, baby?

- Mimi:
See what?

Our British friends

find me entertaining.

In small doses, perhaps.

But now we must

leave them in peace.

Ah, indeed.

Thanks for taking care

of him.

Fiona:

Not at all.

Ah, Fiona,

I've already imposed on you,

but may I beg a favor?

As I'm sure he told you,

Nigel and I had a chat

last night.

I found him

such stimulating company.

Could I borrow him again

this afternoon?

Just for an hour or so?

Well, he's quite grown up.

He doesn't have to have

mommy's permission.

( laughs )

Ta.

Oscar:

The seasons came and went.

Mimi's face still held

a thousand mysteries for me,

her body

a thousand sweet promises.

But lurking at the back

of my mind

was an unspoken fear

that we'd already scaled

the heights

of our relationship.

It would all be downhill

from now on.

And then something happened.

Something that would put things

on a totally different plane.

We were at Kitzbühel.

Skiing vacation.

I'd rented

a chalet there.

It was one of those nights,

warm and cozy inside,

great fat snowflakes

drifting down in the blackness

beyond the frosted panes,

no light

but the glow from the set,

Mimi on the floor wearing

a T-shirt and nothing else,

watching some old American soap

dubbed in German,

and me on the couch

watching her,

sprawled in a sort

of *** stupor.

All at once,

she got up,

stalked over

to the set,

spread her legs,

and pissed on the screen

like she wanted to blot it out.

Time stood still

for an instant.

Then I rolled

off the couch.

I crawled over

like a lunatic.

I wormed my way

between her legs

and I turned over.

And right away,

I was engulfed with this warm,

golden cascade.

It spattered my cheeks,

it filled my nostrils,

it stung my eyes.

And then something

jolted my brain

with multi-megavolt

intensity.

There was this blinding flash

in the back of my eyeballs.

I experienced

the *** of a lifetime.

For God's sake, man.

It was like a white-hot blade

piercing me through and through.

This was my Nile,

my Ganges, my Jordan,

my fountain of youth,

my second baptism.

Look, I think I'm probably

as broad-minded as the next man,

but, I mean, honestly,

there are limits.

Stop twittering, Nigel.

I'm sharing a revelation

with you, damn it.

I'm trying to expand

your *** horizons.

Oh, I see.

And what makes you think

they need expanding?

I'm sure your tumbles

with Fiona

are all perfectly adequate.

Very sanitary and hygienic

in their way.

You bloody well

leave us out of this.

I mean,

at least we've got some decency.

What do you think

you're doing,

sharing the details

of your perverted sex life

with a total stranger?

It's just downright obscene.

Have you ever felt

real overpowering passion?

Have you ever truly

idolized a woman?

Nothing can be obscene

in such a love.

Everything that occurs

between you becomes a sacrament.

Don't you see?

Come on, sit down.

Have another cup of tea.

It'll steady your nerves.

So, anyway,

that was our *** Rubicon.

It opened up

all sorts of new possibilities.

( pop music playing )

( laughs )

( Mimi laughing )

( both laughing )

Oscar:

I always had a suspicion

it might be

supremely pleasurable

to be humiliated

by a beautiful woman.

But it was only now

I realized

what this could entail.

( muffled )

Mimi.

( grunts )

Oscar:

We shut ourselves up

with our toys

for weeks on end,

never going out,

seeing no one but each other.

I guess it was asking

too much of any couple.

- Oscar?

- Just a minute.

Did you really

have all these women?

What women?

The ones you write about.

Does it matter?

It's a book,

for Christ's sake.

I know,

I'm just curious.

Do you like it?

That's what matters.

It's very sexy.

Forget about sex

for two seconds.

What do you think

of the quality of the writing?

I can't judge.

My English

isn't good enough.

"My English

isn't good enough."

Why read the *** book

at all?

Because I love you.

Because I love

everything to do with you.

It's a pity

you're not in publishing.

I'd be at the top of

the best-seller list by now.

When will it

be published?

You tell me.

I'm working on it.

Oscar:

We were getting to be

like two goldfish in a bowl.

"Come on," I told her.

"We need a change of scene.

Let's each

round up a few friends

and hit the town."

♪ 'Cause you're

not welcome anymore ♪

♪ Weren't you the one

♪ Who tried to hurt me

with goodbye? ♪

♪ Did you think I'd crumble?

♪ Did you think I'd lay down

and die? ♪

- No.

- ♪ Oh, no, not I

♪ I will survive

♪ Oh, as long

as I know how to love ♪

♪ I know I'll stay alive

♪ I've got all my life

to live ♪

♪ I've got

all my love to give ♪

♪ And I'll survive

♪ I will survive

♪ Hey, hey

Totally!

It's true.

( laughing )

Ya think?

( slow music playing )

♪ All that I have is all

that you've given me ♪

♪ Did you never worry

♪ That I'd come

to depend on you? ♪

♪ I gave you all the love

I had in me ♪

♪ Now I find you've lied

♪ And I can't believe

it's true ♪

♪ Wrapped in her arms

♪ I see you

across the street ♪

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