Black Knight Page #2

I'm just tryin' to get at her.

Ain't she fine? Watch me work.

Moor! Do you mock me?

The king awaits thee, messenger.

You might want to take a chill pill, all right?

"Do you mock me, Moor?"

Hey, look, your boss

makes you call him "king"?

We gotta talk union.

Yeah, man, that's not right.

We gotta get you a dental plan.

We do apologize, sire. We did not

expect your arrival for several weeks.

How shall I introduce thee?

What do you mean?

Your formal introduction

for your audience with the king.

Formal introduction?

Your Majesty, if I may have your attention?

Starting at small forward,

From lnglewood High,

Two-Time All-County Conference Player

of the Year, the messenger from Normandy,

Jamal "Sky" Walker!

That be l! What's up? What's happenin', y'all?

Thank you! Appreciate it,

big homie! Thank you!

It's the...

Hey, what's up, now?

Oh, man! Now, that brings back memories.

You arrive early. My daughter and I

welcome you. What news from Normandy?

Uh... what news?

Well, a couple of drive-Bys.

Other than that, same ol', same ol'.

When will the duke arrive

to take my daughter's hand?

This is a hell of a setup you got here.

I mean, I'm not lyin'. I mean, whoo!

You got to have major coins behind this.

Who's backin' you - Puffy?

Silence, Moor! Tell me,

when will the duke arrive?

Oh, I get it. You wanna see if I can improve.

OK, well, let's see...

The duke will arriveth...

In all his royal pomposity

and splendor on Tuesday.

Tuesday! Ha. That is excellent news.

Ah. Phillip, have the servants ply this

messenger with much food and drink.

And let him lay with any damsel he desires.

Except my daughter, of course.

Can I get a ride back to town?

Oh, an excellent idea.

Phillip, show our guest the grounds.

Allow him rest, and then

we shall ride, and ride we shall.

Oh, ho, ho! This is funky!

Hey, oh!

Y'all got the little cutout

thing like the castles for real.

Hey, how you doin', Miss Darlin'?

Hey, look here.

I'm in the presidential suite. Uh-Huh.

Yeah! Oh, so, I get it.

This is like a theme park and a hotel, right?

Sire?

Y'all got the real brick.

None of that fake stuff, huh?

Oh, man! Oh, man!

Hey, I need to use your bathroom.

Bathroom? What is that, I pray thee?

I gotta drain the...

you know, drain the anaconda.

Ah, the privy.

Yeah. Appreciate it.

Oh, got to go! Got to... Whoo!

Oh!

Oh, damn!

Seriously, you think you're gonna

charge people money to stay here

And wipe their ass with straw?

Ain't gonna happen.

There's doo-Doo on top of the...

Tell me you don't see that sh*t!

And I mean that literally!

Where's the Texaco?

Texaco?

What's happenin'? Where y'all goin'?

To the beheading.

They're executing the leader of the rebellion.

Y'all went all-Out. Y'all got the...

You said, say what?

They're executing the leader of the rebellion.

Oh, that should be live. Let's check it out.

Remember that little honey I was hollerin' at?

Out the window?

Yeah, yes, yeah!

Hey, that's tight!

Long live our deposed queen!

Power to the people!

Sorry, I didn't mean

to interrupt your rehearsal.

Please, proceed, proceed.

Y'all got a head that comes off?

A neck that spurts blood?

Look at the head.

How do they make it look so real?

Oh, because it is real.

You have to calm yourself.

Calm myself?

I was just holdin' a human head!

You'd think you've never seen an execution.

Not lately!

Wait, uh...

OK, all right. What day is it?

Is it Sunday the 5th?

Yes, messenger, I believe it is.

2001?

Two?

It is the Year of our Lord, 1328.

Argh!

The date frightens you?

You think it don't when it does! Oh!

I didn't mean...

OK, let me calm... Let me just relax.

That's what... a seat. It's a...

All right, is this how you use the chair?

OK, cos I don't really know if you should go...

I gotta go!

But leave you cannot!

There's work to be done.

You wear the medallion.

Well, lots of brothers wear medallions.

I got a cousin. He'll wear a manhole cover

if you get a big enough chain.

You gotta put some bling-Bling on it, though.

You're nervous.

Yeah, a little.

Cos this is not...

I don't even know where I'm from.

When I walked in I saw, like, um...

Let me calm your spirits.

Oh, my damn. Y'all really know

how to make a brother feel welcome.

Yeah. Let's make it happen! Huh?

Grab that leg for me right there.

Why do you disrobe?

Um... Well, uh....

I saw you were gettin' out your drawers.

I wanted to show you that

l, too, wear the medallion.

Yeah. You know what? That was my thinkin'.

Cos it looks just like mine right here. See?

Of course.

I'm here to help you kill the king and

return the kingdom to our deposed queen.

Say what?

That's why we wear the medallion.

I was wearing my medallion cos I thought

it looked good with my gear. You know?

So, how will you do it?

Huh?

Poisonous snakes in his chamber,

or drop him off the edge of the earth?

God knows he deserves it, after killing King

John and stealing the throne from our queen.

He left a warning to all those

who might dare oppose him.

What kind of warning?

Oh!

I'll be goin' now. Yeah, I'm just gonna step...

We have a horse ready for you, sire.

The king awaits thee.

Horse?

You said you wanted to ride.

Yeah.

Oh, sh*t!

He's yours to ride.

Me?

I haven't been, uh...

totally honest to you about who I am.

Oh?

Uh...

I'm not only the duke's official messenger,

But I'm also the court jester.

Messenger and jester.

An odd combination of talents.

Bring him on.

That is funny.

Damn!

King Leo. Bastard.

I've a mind to slice him open

and feed him to the masses.

Soon, brother. Very soon.

Come on, man. Help a brother out.

I admire his commitment.

He's no longer funny,

but he refuses to give up on the joke.

Messenger and jester.

I have great respect for this man.

Does that feel better?

Yeah.

Good. The bloodletting

appears to be working.

What's that?

It's to burn off the leeches.

The what?

Oh! Ah! Agh!

Now I gotta get home. Where's the lake?

Which lake? Where?

The one with the... drunk-Ass homeless guy.

Uh... Knolte.

Knolte?

He's dead.

No, he just smells dead.

Am I interrupting?

Yes.

My apologies. There is a banquet tonight,

and the king requests your presence.

Oh, I don't think I can make that.

My schedule just opened up.

Mmm. Hmm?

Let us celebrate the upcoming union

between my daughter and the Norman duke.

He is coming, isn't he?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, the duke?

Oh, no doubt. He'll be here.

Yeah, the duke, he just likes to stop off,

you know, see the sights and, uh...

Stuckey's. He likes to stop at Stuckey's

because they got a banana pie that he likes.

But he'll be here.

Allow me to carve.

Peas?

Uh, uh...

Uh, please.

I'd like to learn more about your culture.

It is my understanding that

the Normans are excellent dancers.

If you wanna know more about my culture,

remove the dog from the table.

No offense, King, but the thing about dancing

was a very stereotypical thing you said.

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