Black Sheep Page #2

What's your name?

- Experience.

- Has been so far.

So why were you

going to shoot me, Experience?

Because this farm subjects

innocent animals

to cruel and sadistic

torture. Because...

Smoke.

- You coming?

- Um...

Mike?

Mike!

Oh my God.

What?

The feng shui

in this room is terrible.

Anyone there?

Mike?

Oh God.

Jesus, man,

it's not gonna bite.

- What's it doing?

- What is wrong with you?

- Ovinophobia, my therapist calls it.

- What's that?

Just a completely

unfounded and irrational fear

that one day

this is gonna happen!

Well, this happens when

you run the most reckless

genetic engineering program

in the southern hemisphere.

- Who engineered that?

- Your brother.

Mike.

Come on then,

muttonchops!

Bugger me.

Shoot it again!

That'll give you something

to talk to your therapist about.

Experience:

Oh, I'm going to be sick!

Oh sh*t.

Oh sh*t.

Kia ora.

Kia ora, kia ora.

Rattle your dags,

Henry!

There we go.

Good girls.

They're fine.

Tucker:

You get Henry. I'll start the car.

God, your chi

is in shambles.

Huh?

Take a deep breath.

You need

to ground yourself.

You're a tree.

Come on.

A tree.

Your taproot extends

down into the earth.

My... my what?

That's your base

chakra.

Feel the energy drawing

out of the soil.

Can you feel it?

Yeah.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Come on, Henry.

The energy flows up

into your navel chakra,

your solar plexus

chakra,

into your heart chakra.

It spreads

to your branches,

your twigs, your leaves.

You are a mighty kauri

commanding the forest.

Look with

your third eye.

Totally relaxed.

Totally relaxed.

Get on the f***ing truck!

Nearly there, nearly there.

Go!

Go go go!

Watch out for the sheep!

Shoot!

Sorry.

What the hell's he doing?

Chainsaw.

Is it turned on?

- Prime it, prime it!

- What?

The pump thing.

F***!

Oi, Henry!

- Are you okay?

- If it weren't for my gumboot...

Who's driving?

- Jump!

- Both:
What?

Jump off, now!

Jump off! Ah!

Oh, sh*t.

Experience:

Wow, what a beautiful view.

- This is, uh, where...

- I know.

This is what?

Ooh, long way down.

I wouldn't want

to fall off there.

This is where my father

fell to his death.

Oh.

Sorry...

to hear that.

Oh, a sheep!

Is that a good one

or a bad one?

Oh, definitely bad.

That's not funny.

Animal flatulence is responsible

for almost half the world's

greenhouse gas emissions.

It's pure methane.

The Kyoto Protocol...

Kyahhh!

What do we do?

Well, reducing carbon

emission from industries...

No, what do we do about

raising the alarm?

My phone...

is in the truck.

Tucker,

what do you think?

Hoof it for the house.

Tell his lordship what's going on.

Is it far?

It's rough terrain,

open paddocks, hot day, no cover.

Yeah, I'd say

it's pretty far.

With about 50,000 sheep

in between.

Then what?

Then I get as far

away from here as I can.

You're still leaving?

I'm especially leaving.

Experience:
Oh, what if the sheep

get down there before us?

Then Angus is gonna have

some unexpected visitors.

Henry.

Well?

No sign of him.

The others have gone

out into the paddocks.

You cannot make a cup

of tea in this country

without some do-gooder starting

a petition to have you do it their way.

You help me in the lab.

And you,

get rid of that stuff.

Bloody animals.

You and your...

your bloody 4-wheel drives.

Think you own the road!

I do, actually.

Angus Oldfield.

What hole

did you crawl out of?

WEKA. The Whole Earth

Kollective Aotearoa.

I know all about

your Frankensheep!

Mother Nature spent millions

of years making sheep.

She doesn't need your help!

Don't talk to me

about nature.

Man made sheep

what they are today,

and I'm making them

what they'll be tomorrow.

If I was a sheep, I wouldn't

be anywhere near you!

If you were a sheep, I'd have you ground

up for dog food, you little worm.

Now get the f*** off my land.

Ahh!

Henry:

They might come from anywhere.

And they might not.

Calm down, bro.

So this guy you're looking for,

is he your boyfriend?

- My boyfriend?

- Yeah.

- Is he your boyfriend?

- Grant's part of our collective.

We're a non-profit cooperative

that shares information

and resources about

environmental issues.

So what were you and your

boyfriend doing here today?

We keep hearing about

some cowboy lab

that's flushing every animal research

guideline down the toilet.

Scum like Astrid Rush

and your brother

need to answer to

somebody sometime.

For someone who likes animals,

you don't like people very much, do you?

I would have thought

that you of all people

would appreciate efforts

to deconstruct

the colonialist paternalistic

agrarian hierarchy

that disenfranchises

the Tangata Whenua

and erodes the natural

resources of Aotearoa.

Learn all that

at university, did ya,

before you dropped out?

I didn't drop out, thank you.

I just missed exams

while we were

occupying a poultry farm.

Anyway, that's none

of your business.

Henry:
Are you okay?

Rescue Remedy?

I don't need rescuing.

I need Dettol and a sticking plaster.

No thanks.

Fine, suit yourself.

Henry:

Wait, we should stick together.

Tucker, I'm sorry.

It's my fault you got bitten.

Don't worry.

It'll be...

oh f***!

I'll get a tetanus shot

when we get back.

- Clear it right up.

- But the sheep did that.

Then I'll get the vet

to have a look at it. It'll be fine.

Oh God.

Here they come.

- Don't wait for me!

- I'm not leaving you behind.

- What about the sheep?

- Well, f*** the sheep!

No time for that, bro!

Go go go!

- In here.

- Not in there.

Why not?

It's been here forever. It's empty.

- No it's not, bro.

- This is your brother's laboratory.

You got

a better idea?

Go home.

Get, go on!

Henry:
Come on.

Did you know

about this?

I just thought they were playing with

sperm or something.

Oh God.

Stand back!

Do it.

Tucker?

Jesus, Henry, are you gonna shoot me

if I end up like that?

- You're trespassing.

- Taihoa, Bo Peep.

What is this?

I told you.

Agricultural science.

This isn't science.

The sheep are revolting.

Aren't they?

- Now, Henry...

- Hey hey.

I'll take that as

your resignation.

Angus, what would Dad

say about all this?

He wouldn't say anything.

He'd be knee-deep in mud

with his hand up

a sheep's ass.

Your father was

My father fell off a cliff

chasing a wool-blind ewe.

Angus, there's something wrong

with the sheep. They attacked us.

Oh nonsense.

Your brother's clearly one

of these lunatic greenies.

Tucker,

show them your foot.

Foot?

Henry, I simply won't allow

you to disrupt things today.

What are you going to

do about it, eh?

Whatever I have to.

Angus, are you nuts?

There's a lot riding

on this, Henry. I told you,

it's gonna be

very profitable.

Henry, get out of here. Do something!

Get out of here!

- What?

- Move your ass!

Henry, come on!

Stop!

This way!

In there!

Oh, what's down here?

Look at them, Angus!

Look at you.

The fifth generation farmer's son

who's scared of a few sheep.

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