Blast from the Past Page #9

OTHER BUM:

There's a Heroin Anonymous?

SODA JERK:

Shut up! All of these things... ask

you to believe in a power greater than

yourself! Some sort of God on High!

Well...I have lifted my eyes skyward a

time or two... and I have certainly

not seen anything coming from up there

except a goddamn airplane -- that I

can't afford to get on!

The cement FLOOR of the old Malt Shop begins to QUIVER

AND RUMBLE.

OTHER BUM:

Earthquake! Another earthquake!

SODA JERK:

Let her come! Let's get this over

with! And please, if there is a God,

let it be worse in Bel Air!!

The Other Bum staggers to his feet and SPLITS for a back

window. Soda Jerk is fearless. Until finally the

HYDRAULIC DOORS of the back entrance SPLIT THE FLOOR with

an eerie, struggling whine and LARGE CHUNKS OF CEMENT GO

FLYING. Then up comes RED SUBMARINE LIGHT followed by

Calvin in his BIG YELLOW SUIT with Geiger counter

ticking.

SODA JERK:

Oh, God! Oh, God!! Oh,God, save me!!

For I have seen the light!!

Calvin raises his hand and yells through his mask.

CALVIN:

I come in peace!!

The Soda Jerk FAINTS. Calvin, sounding like a deep sea

diver and having to walk like Frankenstein, goes over to

the Soda Jerk and studies his face in the light of his

flashlight. He is horrified by what he sees.

CALVIN:

My, gosh...

Calvin looks around the room and heads for the back. He

moves his Geiger counter around and gets a quiet (safe)

reading. Then he removes a KITCHEN MATCH from a plastic

container and strikes it against the wall. The MATCH

BURNS, so Calvin takes off his hood and visor and

breathes the air. It stinks in there.

EXT. MALT SHOP - MOMENTS LATER, RAINING

Calvin (out of the head gear and top of the suit) slowly

pushes the door open and steps out. He's surprised to

find an empty BODY SHOP behind the Malt Shop, where the

avocado trees should be.

CALVIN:

Where is my backyard?

He points his flashlight around and heads for the ALLEY

to his left.

EXT. ALLEY - A MOMENT LATER, RAINING

DERELICT CARS left over from the Body Shop sit against a

fence. Calvin marvels at the cars, even in their present

condition. In a TIGHTER SHOT he studies the chrome-

plated word "Toyota." A HOMELESS MAN arrives to search

through the garbage. Calvin hurries back towards the

avenue.

SCENE 76 OMITTED

EXT. MALT SHOP - TEN MINUTES LATER, RAIN

Calvin emerges from the alley that separates the Malt

Shop from another storefront (perhaps now a rundown Thai

restaurant.)

CLOSER ON HIM:

watching the cars fly by on the wet avenue. Suddenly, a

cross-dressing STREET WALKER steps up to him with a

cigarette.

STREET WALKER:

You got a light, honey?

CALVIN:

What?! A light! Yes, I've got a

light!

STREET WALKER:

Good.

Fumbling, he finally gets her little cigar lighted with

one of his kitchen matches.

CALVIN:

So...you...survived the blast, did

you?

STREET WALKER:

The blast? Honey, I have survived a

host of things. Like the song says: "A

country boy can survive!"

CALVIN:

Yes, yes, the song. So tell me...has

it been...hell up here?

STREET WALKER:

"Hell up here?" Honey, it's been hell

up here, down there and over yonder!

Hell everywhere.

CALVIN:

Yes, I can tell that just looking

around.

(then)

"Boy?" Did you say you were a

"country boy?"

STREET WALKER:

Cute Little Old Man, if you want a

boy, I can be a boy. And if you want

a girl, I can be a girl. I can be

anything you want me to be!

CALVIN:

Really?

STREET WALKER:

Uh-huh. And it's all yours for the

remarkably low price of only $200!

And if you act now, I might even throw

in some free lawn furniture.

CALVIN:

(stumbling away from her)

No, I can't. I'm sorry! I have to

go! I have to...

He breaks into a trot, heading up the street past a seedy

BAR (used to be the convenience store) just as a

hopelessly DRUNK HAG of a woman is shoved out and told to

stay out. Calvin watches as the woman stumbles to the

curb where she TOSSES her cookies. TWO LOW RIDERS HOP BY

full of TAUNTING YOUNG HISPANIC GANG MEMBERS, one of whom

BRANDISHES A PISTOL and, just for fun, points it at

Calvin. When Calvin sees the pistol he ducks into the

ADULT BOOKSTORE. The young gang member pulls the trigger

and we (not Calvin) see that the realistic-looking pistol

is really a water gun.

INT. ADULT BOOK AND VIDEO STORE

Calvin races in and, gathering himself, addresses the

PAKISTANI MAN behind the counter.

CALVIN:

Hello! How are you this evening?!

Mind if I, you know, browse around?!

The clerk just watches him.

CALVIN:

Thank-Q very much!

Then Calvin turns and has his first look at the

material...and he GRABS HIS HEART and SCREAMS and FALLS

back KNOCKING OVER a whole ROW OF VIDEOS AND MAGAZINES.

INT. SHELTER, KITCHEN - AN HOUR LATER

Calvin sits at the breakfast table, still breathing hard

and holding his chest. His family looks on with great

concern. The anti-radiation suit and gear is piled in

the corner.

CALVIN:

I'm going to give it to you straight.

There's no point in beating around the

bush. There were survivors.

Apparently,

the fallout has created....a

subspecies of mutants.

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