Blonde Crazy Page #2

It hurts me more than

it does you, honey.

"Answers advertisement,

"invests $25,000, charges fraud.

"'Get rich quick' scheme works again.

Prince of swindlers

makes gigantic haul. "

Say, what is this,

Taking a correspondence

course in salesmanship?

Nothing else.

Super-high pressure and deluxe.

Going on the road?

Uh-huh. Won't be long now,

and I'll take you along.

Not as a sideline, you won't.

Well, I think you and I can

make a lot of money together.

Then what?

We blow this joint and make

a play for the big city.

You sound like Santa

Claus in wolf's clothing.

Honey, I'm Santa Claus, Robin hood,

And the goose that laid

the golden egg all in one.

Pretty big package, aren't you?

Seriously, there's a lot

of loose money lying around

If you know where to look for it.

The world owes me a living.

I'm not built for work.

That's for horses

And smack-offs like

that 4-eyed room clerk.

Now, you've got beauty

and a swell figure.

With my ideas and your looks,

we could trim the world.

And end up in the penitentiary.

Not with what I have on the ball.

Now, listen, honey, here's the idea.

The age of chivalry has passed.

This, honey, is the age of chiseler.

And the age of jails.

Everybody's got larceny in his heart.

Everybody's looking for

something for nothing.

Honest men are scarcer

than feathers on a frog.

But I've never been mixed

up in a racket before.

As I said, there are two things

I haven't any use for,

and jail is both of them.

You play ball with me, and

your worrying days will be over.

Yeah? How about the nights?

Well, I'll see what I can

do about those, too, honey.

Sorry to disturb your little party.

Oh, we were just going,

so it's alright anyway.

Not alright with me.

Parking without lights

is pretty serious.

A lot of accidents these days.

Oh, tell him to take that horrid light

Out of my eyes.

The... the lady objects

to your flashlight.

Oh, she does, does she?

Maybe she can't stand close inspection.

I-I-i

resent that.

Alright, alright,

Come on, the both of you, get out.

Now, look, here, can't

you and me get together?

What do you mean, get together?

What's this?

Aw, just forget all about it.

Go on, get yourself a smoke.

Come on, lady, you get out of there.

Listen, partner...

There's nothing to listen to.

Oh, I see.

This is a nice mess.

What's your husband going to say

When he finds out about

this, Mrs. Lawler? Ha.

Oh, he's a friend of my husband.

Why, I didn't know you were married.

Well, you know it now.

Well, come on.

No use standing here.

In the car and we'll get going.

Well, wh-where to?

Headquarters.

I can't go there.

Neither can I. I've got a wife.

Why, I didn't know you were married.

Well, you know it now.

Come on, snap into it.

I ain't got all night.

Hiya, Mr. Johnson!

Speeding?

No, parking.

Hello, Pete.

Hiya, kid.

Mr. Johnson here is a friend of mine.

So's the young lady a friend of his.

Who is it?

Why, it's Anne Lawler.

This is news.

What have you got them on?

Plenty. Parking without

lights on a county highway,

Possession and transportation of liquor,

Bribing an officer of the law...

That's a lie.

Well, we won't stop to argue that.

Go on, get back in your car.

It looks pretty bad, Mr. Johnson.

Hey, Bert, can't you do something?

My name, my reputation, the newspapers.

I don't know.

This guy's a tough mug.

Listen, I know this guy pretty well.

You want me to see

what I can do about him?

Sure, and stop at nothing.

I'll be ruined if this gets out.

Wait a minute.

Hank certainly looked like a real cop.

Why not?

If he can't impersonate

John law, nobody can.

He's been pinched often enough.

Here you are, honey...

$2,500 for you and $2,500 for me,

With the compliments of room 334.

What's the matter, baby?

Come on, snap out of it.

We ought to be celebrating this touch.

Here you're acting like

this. Pick up your end.

I can't take the money,

Bert. You keep it.

Oh, no, no, take it.

It's yours, partner. 50/50.

Well...

I'm awfully tired.

I think I'll turn in.

That's not a bad idea.

Uh, you can sleep in the lower,

And I'll take the upper.

You don't mind, do you?

I was in such a hurry

When I bought the tickets,

I just got one compartment.

I figured you'd be in a hurry

when you bought the tickets,

So I bought a berth in the next car.

You don't mind, do you?

I'm sure you'll sleep better that way.

Oh, I mustn't go

without letting you know

How much I care for you, Bert, dear.

And this, commissioner,

is our local larceny Lane,

Where money's made

easily and lost quickly.

Take a look at the house detective

Giving us the once-over.

You look, babe. I

haven't got my glasses.

Where did the horse come in?

Come in? He's still running.

I laughed till I thought I'd die.

I'd give a million to

have seen that chap's face.

You should've seen his expression

When I told him I still had his letters.

My motto is... speak all

languages and write none.

Swell-dressed parade of

parasites, aren't they?

Worse than all the gangsters

and hoodlums put together.

# dream of Spanish castles #

# it smacks of real love #

# a Spanish castle #

# I've got a rhyme

for a Spanish castle #

Better sit over here, Bert.

You're blocking traffic.

# eyes of blue, LA LA LA Lee #

# red lips, too, #

# LA LA LA Lee #

Anybody who doesn't like this

should have his head examined.

I'd like it better if there

was some money coming in.

Don't worry about a thing, honey.

Everything'll be super.

$5,000 can't last forever.

We've spent almost $1,000 already.

The chump's wad is still intact.

All we spent is what I saved.

We'll get set, baby.

It's making the right

connections takes the time.

See that guy? He's in the rackets.

I've seen him hanging around the hotel.

Mmm-mmm!

He's doing better than alright.

Look what he's pushing around.

She is attractive.

That's the best part of

being in the big dough.

You can canvass the field and

have all the dames you can use.

Is that your ambition?

Well, no, not exactly, but, uh,

You can't blame me for

looking around, honey.

You won't give me a tumble.

You know why?

I can't imagine.

Well, I could go for you.

Sometimes I think I even want to.

You're nice. You're not a collar ad,

But you're not bad-looking either.

But just when I get set to fall,

You spoil everything.

What do you mean?

Love doesn't mean anything in your life.

You think you can turn it on and off

By pushing a button like you do a light.

You worship nothing but dough.

No, you're not my type, Bert.

You got started on the wrong foot.

Little Nell is not going to

be just another in your life.

I say you're wrong. Maybe

someday you'll find out.

I may not know much about making love,

But one thing I do know.

I've wanted you since

the first day I saw you,

But if I can't have you,

I'll have somebody else.

We're getting too serious. Let's dance.

Hey, I told you once

before to cut that out.

Yeah?

Yeah, because I don't like it.

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