Blonde Crazy Page #4

Goodbye.

Good night.

Good night.

I never saw anyone so

stupid in all my life.

Ha ha. The poor chump.

You know, all smartened up

from that goofy scrapbook.

He thought that real money

you sold him was counterfeit.

Yeah, he said it looked perfect.

He couldn't tell it from the real stuff.

What a mug.

A sap.

Miss Roberts, please.

Hello, Anne? It's Bert.

Listen, honey, I won't

be able to see you today.

Something came up that's

going to tie me up.

Is anything the matter?

Of course not. Don't worry

about a thing, will you?

Alright. If you've still

got the money, hang on to it.

Sure. I've got the money

in my pocket right now.

Yeah. Okay.

Miss Kennedy. Call for miss Kennedy.

Call for miss Kennedy.

Call for miss Kennedy.

Miss Kennedy. Call for miss Kennedy.

How do you do? How do you do?

I'm Mr. Alexander Porter's secretary.

I want a diamond bracelet.

Mr. Porter just announced

his daughter's engagement,

You know?

Yes, I read about it.

Step this way, please?

Show this gentleman some bracelets.

This young man will wait on you.

Thank you. Pardon me.

What did you have in mind?

Anything in particular?

Mm, no.

Uh, let me see these.

How much is this one?

$15,000.

This is very nice. I'll take this one.

That is, pending Mr. Porter's approval.

Would you mind sending

it to his residence,

1516 Lake Shore drive, immediately,

And charge it to his account?

Thank you very much.

I shall have it sent within the hour.

May I have your card, please?

Thank you so much, Mr. Roland.

Thank you.

Package for Mr. Porter from Gorman & co.

Will you sign, please?

Very good.

Thank you.

Hello, is this the residence

Of Alexander Porter?

Yes. This is the Porter residence.

This is the Gorman

jewelry establishment.

Through an unfortunate

error, a package intended

For another of our patrons

was delivered at your house.

The package is right here, sir.

Our Mr. Roland will

call for it immediately.

Roland,

r-o-I-a-n-d. Yes.

Would you mind giving it

to him when he arrives?

Yes, sir. Mr. Roland.

I will expect him, sir.

Oh, thanks so much. Thank you.

So, uh, I'm Mr. Roland

of the Gorman company.

Oh, Mr. Roland,

Your manager telephoned

me to expect you.

One moment, please.

Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.

It's nice. Maybe it's too nice.

What'll I do with it?

That stuff is hard to sell.

Give it to your wife

for a Christmas present.

Listen, 3 balls, I want $5,000,

And I want it in a hurry.

It's worth $20,000. Don't

give me any back talk.

Well, don't get excited.

We can talk it over.

I don't want any talk. I want

5 grand, and I want it now.

Alright, I'll... I'll buy it.

My, but you're a tough guy.

Not tough, just mercenary.

Dan didn't take me, but he tried

to, and that's what burns me up.

How much did we lose?

Not a dime. I got all

our original dough back.

That's a break.

What's a break?

Listen, I don't invest

money just to get it back.

Dan promised me a profit,

and a profit I'll get.

What's that got to do

with this trip to New York?

Nothing, except that

Dan barker, the rat,

Is headed that way himself.

You didn't have much time

To say goodbye to that blonde, did you?

Isn't that too bad?

Oh, Bert, sometimes you act like a kid.

You lie, and you pout,

and you won't give in.

Who's lying?

You are. That's alright.

I'll pretend to believe you, Skippy.

Oh, I'm sorry.

That's alright.

Oh, what's the matter?

Something in your eye?

A cinder, I guess.

May I take it out? Would you?

Now look up. Keep still.

There it is.

It's not very big, is it?

No, just a little fellow.

Do you feel better?

Yes, thanks.

My name is Reynolds, Joe Reynolds.

And mine's Anne Roberts.

I'm afraid our

etiquette's a bit reversed.

I guess Emily post wouldn't approve

Of looking into a lady's eyes

before being introduced to her.

Maybe Emily post couldn't

appreciate such eyes as yours.

But seriously, have you

anything to wash them with,

Some antiseptic or something?

No, but they must have on the train.

I'll ask the Porter.

I have boric acid in my

bag. I'm in the next car.

You talk like a physician.

How do you feel now?

Much better, thank you.

Fine.

Do you do much traveling?

Yes. My firm is a member of

the New York stock exchange,

As well as that of Chicago and Boston.

This will be my first

visit east in several years.

Here comes my partner.

Bert, I'd like you to meet

Mr. Reynolds. Mr. Harris.

How do you do? How do you do?

Something flew in my eye,

And Mr. Reynolds was

kind enough to remove it.

Lucky I wasn't there. You'd

probably be minus an eye.

Partners are unfair.

Because I have two eyes,

Mr. Harris would expect

me to give him one.

I must bathe my eye. Thank you again.

I hope you'll give me the

chance of seeing you in New York.

Shan't we see each other on the train?

How about breakfast?

Swell. Splendid.

I'm delighted to have met you, sir.

Oh, uh, the pleasure's mutual.

Little girl like 'em nice mans?

I think I could prime

that chump for a take.

He looks like ready money.

Is that all you ever think

of, Bert... swindling somebody?

Why don't you take them one at a time?

Yesterday you were going to

follow Dan around the world.

Now you've forgotten all about it.

I haven't forgotten anything.

Only why shouldn't we take Reynolds?

He isn't any better

than anybody else, is he?

Maybe he is. I sort of like him.

As long as I do, you lay off.

There are plenty others.

Mm-hmm.

This is the first time

I've ever seen you weaken.

He must work fast.

He does.

You should take a few lessons.

Aw, nuts.

It's tough nowadays.

Sometimes I think I'll go legit.

You couldn't. Trick

laws and shyster lawyers

Won't let a guy go straight.

Say, who's the dame over there?

Miss Roberts.

How are you, Mr. barker?

May I sit down?

Please do.

I ate at that table.

Bring me the check, will you,

and a fresh pot of coffee?

Yes, sir.

Am I taking you from someone?

That mug's just out of the big house.

More solitary won't hurt him.

You're sure looking great.

Say, whatever happened

with that young squirt?

Bert was his name, wasn't it?

You were never meant

for a chump like that.

Did he ever tell you how we took him

In that fake counterfeiting gag?

Ha ha. He fell for that

hook, line, and sinker.

I took him for 5 grand,

And the payoff was the note

that Helen left for him...

"paste this in your scrapbook.

Love and kisses, Helen. "

Ha ha.

Ha ha.

Where is Helen?

I sent her back where I got her from.

Have her on a 30-day free trial?

Exactly, and all she cost

me was the down payment.

What are you doing these days?

I got a brand-new racket.

Hello, honey. Hello, baby.

Ready to eat?

Sure. I'll put on my hat.

You sit down and rest

your hands and face.

Hmm!

Browning.

Not really.

"To Anne. This book so suitable. Joe. "

You never told me.

"No shade encroaching

on the matchless mould

"of those two lips, which

should be opening soft

"in the pure profile,

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