Blood Suckers from Outer Space Page #5

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You'll lose the essence

of your old life,

but you'll gain knowledge

beyond the limits

of your imagination.

- Knowledge is great but

why do you have to

suck the blood out of everybody?

- It's an uncontrollable urge

but it's really not as bad

as you think it is.

I guess we all have to

learn to adjust

to the constraints of

physical reality.

- Oh no.

I can't take another

Kung Fu scene.

- Hello?

- Mr. President, General

Sanders is calling.

He says it's urgent and he must

speak to you immediately.

- I hope it's as urgent

as this cupcake

I got in my lap here.

- Sir, it's concerning

the Blood Sucker

situation in Texas.

- All right, put him through.

- Yes, sir.

- General Sanders.

- Mr. President.

I hate to disturb you

but I'm calling about

an urgent matter

that could endanger the

national security.

- Cut the crap Sanders and just

tell me what you want.

- I think we've isolated

the Blood Sucker problem.

- Why're you calling me for?

- Sir, I've decided the

best course of action

is to use nuclear weapons.

- How many times have I told you,

we do not drop a nuclear bomb

within our own country.

That'd be crazy, wouldn't it?

- But sir, there aren't

that many people

in this particular part of Texas.

Besides, we can get rid of

the Blood Suckers

swiftly and effectively.

- The answer is no, Sanders.

We're not gonna use

nuclear weapons

to deal with this problem.

- Mr. President, I'm concerned

these Blood Suckers

are part of communist conspiracy.

- You think everything is part of

a communist conspiracy.

You just want an excuse

to drop a bomb.

- They trying to take our freedom

away by sucking us dry.

You've got to let me

drop the bomb.

- Look, a**hole, I don't have to

let you do anything.

I'm the President of the

United States.

The people elected me.

I'm supported by the asses...

the masses.

- There won't

be any masses

if you don't let me do this.

- Okay, if I let you

drop the bomb,

you promise you aren't gonna call

me or try to see me again?

- Oh yes, yes, yes.

I promise, Mr. President.

- Okay, then you should take care

of the matter, all right?

- I can drop the bomb?

- Just make sure it's a

small bomb, okay?

All right.

Back to work.

- Which way?

- Where do you wanna go?

- I just wanna get away.

- We can't get away.

It's gonna find us wherever we go.

- Not if we go far enough.

- It wants me.

I don't understand this thing.

I don't know what it is.

But it wants me.

It's out there now, I can feel it.

- It was the nitrous oxide.

It neutralized the life force.

Jeff, you saved mankind!

- Well, it was really nothing.

- Sir, what are you doing?

- I'm not sure.

I guess if I'm a little off

in my coordinates

and the initial blast

doesn't get 'em,

the fallout will.

- Fallout?

What do you mean?

I told you, we can't use a

tactical nuclear weapon

in the middle of our own country.

Look, right here in the book.

Page 622, section three,

paragraph--

- If you don't shut up

you're gonna eat that

book for lunch.

Now sit down.

Makes you proud to be an American.

- Mr. President, I

thank you for...

No.

Thank you, Mr. President.

No, that's not it.

Mr. President.

- No, sir, it's me.

Major Hood!

- Harry, you should feel proud,

mighty proud.

I feel confident we're both

gonna be justly rewarded

for the heroic act we

just performed.

- Sir, the bomb exploded on a

Methodist encampment

at least 60 miles from any

Blood Sucker sighting.

- Maybe a parade.

What?!

- I'll tell you what, you idiot!

You maniac!

We'll both be shot for this!

- Good morning, Joe.

- Boy, it's a pretty one!

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