Blues Brothers 2000 Page #2

You don't need that sh*t, kid.

Elwood.

It's me.

Matara.

Yeah, right.

Mack.

Look who's here. Elwood Blues.

From Willie's old band.

Is this your son?

Well, he's...

I'm hungry.

Come on, let's get you something to eat.

Willie's in the office.

What would you say

to my putting the band back together?

I'd say I've got a good business here

and I'm not going back to jail.

You're saying you don't miss it?

That's right.

You know you miss the music.

No pharmaceutical could equal the rush

you get when the band grooves.

People are dancing and shouting.

The house is rocking.

Sir?

Yes, Elizondo?

Found your wallet.

Let's see...

...badge, license, credit cards.

Just the cash is missing. Where was it?

Turned in to lost-and-found

in a paper bag...

...with this note.

I want a felony theft warrant

put out on Elwood Blues.

I want this guy. Now.

What did he mean,

calling you his "little brother"?

Right away, sir.

Good evening, welcome to Willie's.

Illinois' most elegant establishment

for entertainment, erotica and ecdysia.

Now, four young women

currently studying medicine...

...and paleontology

at Northwestern University.

Tia, Sandrah, Devon and Carla.

Here they are, The Roommates!

The band, the girls and I,

want to do a song for you.

A little Mack Rice cover.

You married men...

...better stay tied up,

because it's cheaper to keep her.

"It's cheaper to keep her

"It's cheaper to keep her

"When your little girl makes you mad

"You get an attitude and pack your bag

"Five little children

that you're leaving behind

"You're gonna pay some alimony

or do some time

"It's cheaper to keep her

"Too much to leave that little girl

"It's cheaper, it's cheaper

"If you decide to roam

"And leave your happy home

"You got to pay the house note

"The child support, your insurance

"Alimony, mortgage one, mortgage two

"It's cheaper to keep her"

What was that?

Strong-arm sh*t.

Protection payment. You know.

This time it's Russians.

But if I pay them, they leave me alone.

That's not right.

No sh*t.

If I could only figure out

what Elwood's game is.

Why did he come to see you?

To borrow $500

and ask me to join his band.

Well, he got his $500.

What instrument do you play?

How about a big hand for our gorgeous,

professional lady dancers?

Where's Willie?

Visiting his ailing stepfather. Why?

The Russians are here to see him.

I'll handle it. Where's Buster?

In the office, sleeping.

Good evening, gentlemen.

Mr. Hall has been unavoidably detained.

He may be a trifle late.

May I buy you a drink?

Mack.

Got a minute?

Don't forget our deal now, Elwood.

You can stop worrying.

Those Russians won't be back.

Those guys are bad mothers, Elwood.

Serious sh*t. They kill people.

They kill people?

Try to understand.

Those goons are orphan remnants of

the post-perestroika Soviet secret police...

...who twisted the well-intentioned,

original Marxist-Leninist doctrine...

...using state security, which was

corrupted by Beria in the '30s.

Once a mass populace

is coerced into such behavior...

...a radical shift, like glasnost,

produces guys like...

...headless automata who continue

the brutish measures...

...to which their genes were programmed

since the fall of the Romanovs.

That's great. I feel much better.

"Stay away from Willie's.

Signed, the Masked Avenger. "

Now, a very special treat, our own...

...bartender, Mack McTeer,

will perform for you tonight.

Now, come on.

Elwood.

What are you doing?

I'm sorry. I promised the guy.

It'll never happen again.

"I'm all alone and fancy-free

"But that ain't the way I want to be

"Now girls, get your game up tight

"We're gonna have

a wing-ding-doodle tonight

"For right now I'm lookin' for a fox

"I'm lookin' for a fox

"Tonight the sky's the limit

"I got some money and I'm gonna spend it

"It's Saturday night and I wanna play

"I'm gonna groove

till the break of day

"I'm lookin' for a fox

"Not a brand new pinstripe suit of clothes

"Big wide polka-dot tie

"Cuff links as big as jaybird eggs

and look at that

"Shoes made out of alligator hide

"Wanna see somethin' else here?

"I'm ripe and ready and I'm hot to trot

- "Boy, you on fire

- "You know you can get anything I got

- "Two take for two

- "I got the money if you got the time

- "We open all night

- "All you gotta do is give me a sign

"I'm lookin' for a fox"

Mack, you know something?

You can sing, man.

Everyone please leave now!

- Where's Buster?

- I don't know.

Gas!

Come on! Hurry!

Elwood!

You okay?

The girls get out?

Yeah, everyone's fine.

Matara, thanks for everything.

Time to go.

They have automatic weapons.

Look in the glove compartment.

Carpet tacks.

They have guns and we have carpet tacks.

They're not carpet tacks.

They're dry-wall nails.

Roll down the window. Dump the nails.

The Lord works in mysterious ways, Mack.

What do you mean?

If not for those Russian gangsters

and you helping me...

...I wouldn't have seen you sing.

You're good.

Thank you, Elwood.

Since the Russians torched Willie's club,

he'll need a job.

You'll need a job. I'll need a job.

So, you'll join the band,

then we'll all have jobs.

- Follow me?

- Sure.

What band?

Lieutenant.

- Elizondo.

- Find anything?

No bodies, but lots of gunfire.

Find the club owner?

Not yet.

Wait.

You better see this.

Matt.

You finally sell that demonstrator?

Check this funky car coming in.

I got a weird vibe.

The suit's real neat,

but do I have to wear the hat?

These are unsophisticated men. They only

respond to fear and the draw of lucre.

We elicit this by using

iconographic symbols...

...and psychological intimidation.

The way we look together...

...presents a uniform image

of strength and organization.

Don't say anything.

Look mean. No smiling.

Good to see you.

Even though that last gig was a nightmare.

Boys, meet my new partner in the act,

Mighty Mack.

Mack, "Blue Lou" Marini,

Matt "Guitar" Murphy.

Mighty Mack.

So, what's this about?

Putting the band back together.

You can't mention that here.

She's back from lunch.

Elwood.

Ma'am.

Sorry to hear about Jake.

Thank you, ma'am.

Who's this?

My new partner, Mack McTeer.

Pleased to meet you.

Matt, can I speak to you privately?

Sure, baby.

When you got out of prison,

you said, "No more Blues Brothers. "

Yes, I did.

We've built up a good business using

the cash from the sale of the coffee shop...

...to start this Mercedes dealership.

What's wrong with you?

And I keep your pathetic friend on...

...even though he hasn't sold a car

in over two years.

Yes, you have, and no, he hasn't.

You talk straight with me.

I always do.

And treat me with respect at all times.

I do, baby.

You know what I mean when I say respect?

"What you want, baby I got it

"What you need

"you know I got it

"All I'm asking

"is for a little respect

when you come home

"Hey, baby

"When you come home

"I ain't gonna do you wrong

while you're gone

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