Body Page #2

Yeah, let me... let me ask.

- Are you serious?

- Can he?

Yeah, I guess that's fine.

Yeah, it's cool.

I'll text you the address.

Okay.

- Okay, see you then. Bye.

- Adios.

- Holly!

- What?

- Dude, you can't f***ing do that.

- Why? What's the big deal?

You just invited a guy

to our girls' night.

- I asked.

- What am I supposed to say, no?

- He's right there on the phone.

- Okay, what do you want me to do?

You want me to call him

and tell him he can't come?

No, absolutely not 'cause

then I'll look like a huge f***ing b*tch.

Okay, then what?

Let's just forget it.

Whatever, you don't understand.

Whatever, it's fine.

Let's just have a good time.

Geez, I'm sorry.

I just wish that maybe you

would've thought...

What is that?

- What is that?

- Holy sh*t.

Should we, like, help him?

No, someone else will come by.

- I'm just gonna say hi.

- Cali, I'm serious.

- What if he's cute?

- Oh, shut up. Just keep going.

No, Cali, go!

# Like a Kennedy, Kennedy #

Freak out much?

I'm sorry. I just got scared.

Well, yeah. She's right though.

I mean, what were you doing?

There was a guy

who looked like he needed help.

I was stopping to help the guy.

Oh, and what are you gonna do,

change his tire?

What are you so afraid of?

Oh, I don't know, maybe brutal murder.

Oh, my God. You guys

are such f***ing pussies.

Oh, God. Oh, I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry we didn't want

to pick up a creepy beard man

and, you know, drive him home.

And what if that creepy beard man

is my future husband,

and I will never see him again

because of you?

Ew.

You ready for this, guys?

- Oh, my God.

- Wow.

Oh. What the f***?

Yeah.

What?

- I know.

- Yeah, right?

And I'm in the will

so be nice to me, b*tches.

Wow.

Oh, wow. This is insane.

Party time.

Thank you, Cali, for dropping me off

- on this lovely ice over here.

- You're welcome!

Are you sure they're not home?

I mean, all their cars are here.

Oh, yeah. They have, like, 40 cars.

Those are just the beaters they take out

when they want to look like poor people.

Oh.

Huh. That's weird.

He usually leaves a spare.

Well, why don't you just call him?

Maybe he left it somewhere new.

No, I don't really

want to bother him, you know?

Ah.

Nice.

All right.

Oh, my God.

Pretty classy, right?

Uh, the Scrabble, it followed us.

Wow. This is unbelievable.

Well, just you guys wait.

You ain't seen sh*t.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Boom. Mm.

Holy f***.

What does your uncle do?

I think he's, like,

a hedge fund person or something.

What is a hedge fund?

I don't know, but I want one.

Have you ever driven one of these?

What, are you kidding?

I've, like, driven all of them.

What was it like?

Sexual.

You hit the gas,

and it goes so fast so quickly

that your body's pushed up

against the seat,

and everything

you have squishes backwards.

And then the whole thing starts

to vibrate, and you're just, like, flying.

I need that.

You guys want to go for a ride?

Dude, we're wasted.

I'm not crashing one of these cars.

I didn't say these cars.

Oh, my God, oh, my God!

- Look, Ma, no hands.

- Stop!

Hey, how do you stop?

Cali.

It's so beautiful.

Aw.

- Mel!

- Suck my dick.

- Suck my dick, just a little bit.

- Seriously?

- There you go.

- That's not funny!

- Holly!

- Okay, I'll do it, I'll do it.

Oh, there we go.

Ooh, yeah, right there. Right there.

- All right.

- Oh, my God.

I'm sorry.

Fix my bangs. Will you fix my bangs?

Sure.

You guys, it is officially Christmas Eve.

Oh? Aww.

It's Christmas, it's Christmas.

Guys, it's God's birthday.

- Happy birthday, God.

- Happy birthday, God.

- Happy birthday, JC.

- Happy birthday, God!

Aah! Ha ha ha!

# God rest ye #

- # Merry gentlemen #

- Oh, my God, here we go.

- Seriously?

- # Let nothing ye dismay #

# Remember Christ our Savior #

# Was born on Christmas day #

# He had a Jesus penis #

# It was long and nice and red #

- # Oh, tidings of comfort #

- # And joy #

# Comfort and joy #

# Bring us tidings of comfort #

# And joy #

- I won. You totally cheated.

- Are you kidding me?

- I'm still going.

- Come here, girl.

Give me head.

Give me head, just a little bit.

You're on a rampage.

Nice shot.

Nice shooting, Tex.

That's a perfect round.

- Beat that.

- All right.

Why does that not...

Why doesn't that count?

It's a cow.

All right.

Look, you're a lover, not a hunter.

Not everyone has that fire inside.

All right, I got to pee.

Where's the bathroom?

Right, I'll find it.

- Well, I'm a hunter and a lover.

- Yeah, girl.

That's too bad.

Oh. Damn it.

I like... I like her.

Whatever.

I'm cool with her.

- Hey, Cali?

- 'Sup, ho?

Why are all the photos

in here of Asian people?

Cousins. Extended family.

But you're not Asian.

What? My uncle is. He's adopted.

- Really?

- Yeah.

My grandparents adopted him... from Asia.

You're f***ing lying, aren't you?

Okay. The jig is up.

Uh, what jig?

This isn't my uncle's house.

Jesus, Cali.

Well, then whose is it?

It's this family I used to babysit for.

They're, like, super loaded, obviously.

They go away every year

for Christmas for, like, two months.

Are you f***ing kidding me, Cali?

We have been drinking all of their liquor

and we're wearing all of their clothes.

And we broke into their house.

Guys, whatever. It's not a big deal.

They're super mellow.

We'll just put everything back

when we're done.

No way. We're leaving right now.

Fine.

- But just...

- Hey, who's here?

- What the f*** was that?

- F***. Um...

- Come on, now.

- Hide.

Okay.

- Who the f*** was that?

- I don't know.

Do you think that guy

with the beard followed us here?

- Hey. Who's in here?

- Sh*t.

- I thought you said they were gone.

- They are. I don't know who this is.

- Well, what the f*** do you want us to do?

- I see your purses.

Run. Let's just run.

When he gets close, we'll run,

we'll grab our sh*t,

get the f*** out of here.

- I don't know.

- Go.

- Hey!

- Sorry, dude.

- Hey, hey!

- Let go.

I got you. Take it... Aah!

- Oh, my God.

- Who...

Who is it?

I have no idea.

I've never seen him before.

He... his neck.

What happened?

He grabbed us, and I pushed him.

Let's just go. Let's go.

Wait a second.

He's not breathing.

I'm... I'm gonna call an ambulance.

You can't.

Why? We have to do something.

- What, do you want to go to f***ing jail?

- Why? It was an accident.

Holly, we were trespassing.

I don't think it matters.

Because of you, because you

said it was okay to be here.

I'm not the one that pushed him

down the f***ing stairs.

That's not what happened.

So you didn't push him down the stairs?

I did. I... I didn't know.

I didn't... F***. Fu...

I didn't...

- No, I didn't. I didn't.

- You're okay.

It's not your fault. It wasn't your fault.

You didn't mean for this to happen.

It is, it is.

Holly, breathe. Holly, breathe. Breathe.

It's okay. It's okay. Shh.

It's okay.

- Please, let's just go. I want to go.

- I told you, we can't.

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