Boiling Pot Page #3

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relationship, okay?

Give me a break. Alright, give

me your left hook.

This is my right hand. Here is a

left hook!

Right hand?

Fine! Give me a left hook! My

left!

Whatever, my left!

Okay, get ready.

You can't punch me back!

Why not?

You actually punched me!

I'm not punching you

'cause you don't wanna get punched!

I got you! Come on, come on!

Comin' up, comin' up!

Come on! C'mon!

Yo! Hey! Hey!

Look man!

I need all your attention.

Get up in here.

What's your problem man?

This is my problem!

What is this?

"Compton Cookout. Join us for a

Nigga Night. "

What?

What the f...

"In honor of celebrating our

black classmates,

the Kappa House cordially

invites you...

to its very first Compton

Cookout.

All dudes should be rocking

jerseys,

anything FUBU, Ecko, Jordans,

or Dunks.

Ghetto chicks should have

gold teeth, start drama, and...

wear cheap clothes. They look

and act like Shenaynay

and speak loudly while rolling

their neck

and waving their finger in your

face.

The Kappa House is proud to

house this monstrosity

and experience the various

elements of life in the ghetto.

We'll be serving 40s, kegs

of dat purple drank,

chicken, Kool-aid, and of course

watermelon.

So come one, come all.

And join us for a party to be

remembered, or not. "

This is ridiculous.

Kappa House is off campus. They

can have any party they want.

There's no way we can cancel it?

So we're just not going to do anything?

We're going.

What time is your fight Saturday?

Six, I think.

And you want me to come to this

one?

Hell no.

Fine, have it your way.

I'll probably end up going to

that frat party then.

Valerie why would you go to that

party?

What, I can't handle going to a

party without you?

It's messed up. It's a ghetto

themed party.

No it's not. Where are you

getting this?

What fliers? Okay never mind

let's just drop it.

We need to get going anyway,

my parents are waiting. 'Yalla

nimshy. '

You know, when white girls try

to talk Arabic,

usually it sounds pretty bad.

You though? it sucks.

You are such a jerk!

I know. You love me though,

right?

Sure.

Sure? I want you to say it.

Yeah, I love you.

Wow, I'm not convinced at all.

Say it and mean it!

That's the best I got.

Say it with some passion, like

it means something to you.

Valerie, if you don't say it,

I'm gonna hurt myself.

And how are you going to do

that?

I'm gonna jump. And if I jump,

you're jumping with me.

I would really like to see that.

You'd love to see me jump?

Yeah.

Last chance.

My life's gonna flash before my

eyes. Last chance.

Nope.

Okay.

My Go-

Coming! Hello.

Hey.

The hell happened to you two?

There was a leak.

There was a leak in the car?

Yeah. Daddy this is Hazem.

Good to finally meet you sir.

Nice to meet you. Come on in.

This one will fit right into the

family photo album.

Why don't you go upstairs,

Valerie,

and get something dry to wear.

Maybe find something for

Khazem. Have a seat.

Just don't sit on the sofa

please.

So Khazem, that's an ethnic

name. isn't it?

It depends on where you're

from I guess.

Aren't you from the Middle East?

I'm from Jersey. Hoboken.

You're from Jersey.

Okay so... Let's sit down somewhere.

Maybe the dining room table.

Sure.

So...

You have a beautiful home, by

the way.

Thank you very much. I like to

keep it that way.

My.

Silence frightens me.

So Hazem, you haven't told us

what you've been studying.

I'm a third year med student.

3.8 GPA.

Wow that's wonderful. Money is

always wonderful.

That's why you're saying that

you hit the jackpot, Valerie?

Dad! I never said that. I never

said that.

Well I'm saying it.

So what's the medical field like

in your country?

What happened?

Valerie tells us you're from

Egypt.

Egypt? You told me Jersey.

His parents are from Egypt.

So what? Are you going to

live in Egypt?

No, Tim don't be silly. They're

staying right here of course.

Not that I don't like Egypt, Hazem..

I've seen pictures of the

pyramids. Beautiful.

What'd be so wrong with moving

to Egypt?

I think it'd be exciting.

But a person should live in the

best place they can afford.

And you don't want to be around

all those diseases.

Well, I think it's easy to judge

something from far away.

Yeah, sure, but by the same

token,

You wouldn't want to be living

in Compton, would you Kazem?

Tim, you're being silly.

Compton.

All those baggy pants and guns.

You know just the sight of

guns...

Frightens you. No, me too. I

agree.

Dad, you grew up in Detroit

right?

Warren. Yeah, a little city

called Warren.

Yeah? What was that like?

It was clean.

No, wait a second. No, nobody

needs get up, I'll get it.

Claire, eat your food.

Hi, good to see you.

Good to see you. Well, just

dropped by?

Yeah, sorry I'm a little late.

Hey look who's here everybody.

Garret.

Garret. You remember Garret for

God's sake!

Garret, you remember, Valerie.

This is Valerie's friend Kazem.

Fiance dad.

Hello Kazem.

It's Hazem.

Was that the first time you met Hazem Seif?

I'd seen him before...

but I hadn't officially met him

'till that night.

What was your impression of him?

I dunno.

You dunno? You got five don't

you?

What?

Do you have five? You have five.

No, no, no, no. you stupid

little twerp.

No, Five sens-

Five senses. You know, Hearing,

taste, feeling.

Hello! God gave you five

senses.

Now what was your impression of

him?

What was your opinion of Hazem

Seif?

He was kinda rude I guess. It

was just..

It was an awkward night.

Kazem was just telling

us about living in Egypt.

It's a very interesting place.

Mom, can I speak to you for a

minute?

Valerie sweetheart, not now.

Garret, would you like something

to drink.

Mom!

Golly, alright. Excuse us.

Mom what the hell is he doing

here?

I bring my fiance to meet you,

And you invite my ex-boyfriend

on the same night?

Valerie, I'm not in love with

your tone.

I have chosen someone

So your guys' little plan isn't

going to work.

Now let's go back to our guests

and enjoy a pleasant dinner.

And Valerie.

What?

You're hair...

My God, mom! Stop!

Where's the other guy?

Yeah. The other detective who

was talking to me.

Gramps? He had to go home.

But daddy's here now.

I'm not a detective. I'm a

federal agent.

But I already told...

What kind of relationship did

you and Garret Perrin have?

We didn't.

I hate college girls. Other

people...

they usually wait till the

fourth or fifth question...

before they start lying to me.

But college girls. There's

nothing honest about them.

I'm not lying.

What did you tell the detective?

God. We used to date! It was

a long time ago.

Your fiance know about this?

So I'm telling ya, this fish.

20 pounds, 8 inches.

I mean you had to see this son

of a b*tch to believe it.

Now what're you girls doing?

Where've you been?

Valerie,

just wanted to show me something, dear.

Kazem wants to be a Doctor in

Egypt.

Dad, we really don't have to

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