Bon Cop Bad Cop 2 Page #6

- You don't know?

OK, Blow it! Blow it now!

- Do it!

- I need to rearrange the coordinates.

- Come on. Dcalice!

Out, out, out!

Sh*t!

(Grunting, exhaling sharply)

(Siren stops)

F***!

- OK, the satellite is locked.

(Beeping)

- Sh*t!

The GPS is starting a countdown!

- Turn off their computer!

- I can't!

(Police in distance): Stay back, everyone!

- Stay in your car, sir!

- Back away! Back up!

My car's gonna blow!

- Stay in your car!

- Keep everybody away!

Stay away, everybody!

- Get back in your car, sir, or I swear...

- What, you're gonna shoot me?

- You leave me no choice!

Get back in the goddamn car!

- Everybody, down!

- Twenty seconds.

- F***, David! 15 seconds!

(Gunshots)

(Bystanders screaming)

- Five, four...

(Grunting, groaning)

(Beeping, buzzing)

- Yeah!

- OK.

- OK!

- David?

David?

Can you hear me?

(Groaning)

David?

David!

Talk to me!

- Martin!

(All sighing)

- Yes!

- Thank God!

- Martin, can you hear me?

I'm fine. I'm not hurt.

And no one...

- Freeze! Get on the ground!

(High-pitched ringing)

(Muffled):
And stay! Stay on the ground!

- Don't yell, goddammit!

I have sensitive eardrums!

(Cracking)

- Hey!

(High-pitched ringing on radio)

- On the ground!

- I cannot be more on the ground than this.

I'm a police officer.

- Shut up!

OK, freeze! And don't you move!

- Ah!

- Hand behind your back!

Now!

(Handcuffs rattling)

OK.

(Grunting)

- Oh, come on!

- Yeah, you...

- Take it like this, clip it like that.

- Yeah, yeah, do the other one.

- Just clip it like this.

There you go! OK?

(Exhaling sharply)

- Yeah, I got him. I got him.

(Breathing heavily)

Holy!

- Um...

- Yeah, I'll get to you. Oh!

(Gagging)

- So, this is the first batch of cars.

They leave for the coast tonight.

- The 2nd wave heads out tomorrow.

- The rest will be on the road come D-Day.

And you can trust

all these drivers?

Absolutely! See, no

one knows the endgame.

As far as they know,

it's just another routine run.

- We have secret drop spots

where the mechanics leave the vehicles.

The drivers pick it up from there.

- It's kind of like Bixi,

but a little different.

- Good work!

Nobody pays to see the rehearsals!

(Engine starting)

- In 36 hours, we'll be rich.

- Or dead.

- Well, FBI's on the way.

- Good call.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

(Crickets chirping)

- Well, I guess I'd best

go have a chat with him.

- Don't do this, sir. I

mean, he's a terrorist.

- He's right. The FBI is on the way, sir.

- Captain, your wife and the boys...

Think about them. This isn't worth it!

- Well, now, correct me if I'm wrong,

but this is our town.

Until somebody comes along

and tells me otherwise,

we are still in charge here.

I'm going in.

(Sighing)

Well!

Who are you, son? Hmm?

Who you, uh...

Who you working for?

- Wow! Don't beat around the bush, sir!

(Female officer): Mmm...

Maybe a bit too aggressive.

You don't wanna put

him on the defensive.

- He's a terrorist.

I think he starts on the defensive.

- My name is David Bouchard.

I'm a French-Canadian cop

working undercover for

the Sret du Qubec.

- For who?

(Anglophone accent):

The Sret du Qubec.

- He's totally making that up.

- Mm-hmm.

- Are you a German?

- What?

No. No! I'm French.

- French?

Well, now, I thought you

said you was Canadian!

- Oh!

- He's got him!

- Really?

- Sure.

First he says he's French,

and then Canadian?

- Uh, pretty sure there

are French Canadians.

(Both men chuckling)

- French... French Can...?

- Which is it, son? You French or Canadian?

- I'm Quebecois, Calice!

French-Canadian, sparatiste

librale, tabernak!

Where are you from?

United Stupids of America?

Or South Moronia?

You f***ing dumbass!

- OK, that was not French.

- Yeah, it sounded more like Swedish.

- Yeah! Like the Swedish

Chef on The Muppets.

- Hmm?

- The...

(Speaking Swedish-sounding gibberish)

- Ah.

- No, that was French.

Like, it might be some

kind of, like, street,

weird, 2nd-rate, bastardized

kind of French,

but that was French.

- I'm pretty sure it was Swedish.

- Mm.

- You best get your story

straight there, son!

The FBI is on the way.

- The FBI?

- Mm-hmm.

And they won't be nearly as kind as we are!

- Whew! FBI's coming here?

- Mm.

- Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!

I'll wait for them, then.

Thanks for your participation.

Very appreciated.

- Uh, you sure about that?

- Yep! Damn sure!

(Speaking Swedish-sounding gibberish)

- You're sure? Because if you...

wanted to straighten anything up...

more than happy to have a little chinwag...

(Chuckling)

mano a mano.

( Whistling Auld Lang Syne )

Well!

(Clearing throat)

Can't say I didn't warn you!

Well...

I guess I stirred his giblets pretty good.

(Sighing)

(Sirens wailing)

- All right. Let's make

sure that bridge is safe.

Let's take all the time that we need

to process this crime scene properly.

I want Command and Central

up and running in ten.

And get the mayor on the line and tell

him to meet me here in half an hour.

- Yes, sir, excuse me, can I get...

- Sir, sir, sir! Just a few...

- I'm gonna make a brief statement.

- Sir, do we have information on who

committed this act of extreme violence?

- Do you think that this attack

was terrorist-related?

- The statement does not include questions.

However, I can say that this act

was in no way related

to a terrorist organization.

We do have a suspect in custody,

and I will keep you posted

on any future developments.

- Can you give us the name of the suspect?

- I want the good people

of Middlebrook to know

that they are safe tonight.

Rest assured, there are no further threats.

- Martin Ward, RCMP.

- Stay back.

- I need to speak to whoever's in charge.

- Agent Blaine, FBI.

I have information that'll

be of great use to you.

Oh, really?

- David. Agent Blaine, FBI.

- Is this man here your partner?

- Well, partner is a relative term.

- Martin!

- Yes, he is.

This is David Bouchard

from the Sret du Qubec.

He is one of my men.

- Then, sir, I'm gonna

have to ask you to turn around

and slowly put your hands on the table.

- What?

- Mm.

- I'm RCMP!

- Sir! I'm not gonna ask again.

- Did you really think they'd let me go

because you flashed

your little Canadian police badge?

You're so nave!

You haven't become

a Jehovah's Witness, have you?

I was driving a car that exploded

in the country with the most

terrorist threats in the world!

Now, instead of just me

being stuck here, we both are!

Good job!

Ladies and gentlemen,

my partner, Martin Ward!

RCMP!

(Sighing)

I'm sorry.

- What for?

- You know. Don't rub it in.

- But there are just so

many to choose from!

- F*** you.

(Both chuckling)

- Do you think the other 25 cars

are rigged like yours?

- Definitely!

It's brilliant:
you disseminate

stolen cars all over the States

and simultaneously blow them up!

- Even if somebody knows that something's

wrong, who's gonna say anything?

I mean, they bought a stolen car.

- What do we do if we get out?

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