Boobs in the Wood Page #6

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We ain't going nowhere.

Don't give up the best thing you'll

ever get because you're scared.

You're right, man.

You're right.

- So what are you saying?

- I'm ready to marry Lisa.

Yes, yes, yes!

Let me ask you something.

Are you absolutely sure on this?

Yeah, I just said.

Yes.

That's good enough for me.

- When you see Lisa...

- Where the hell have you all been?

- Slim had...

- Car trouble? As if we'd buy that!

- You're a writer. Would you believe it?

- We spent a fortune on this wedding.

Why are you getting on me?

I'm not the one getting married.

- Good point.

- If I had to look at him, I'd kill him.

Come on. And you better stay.

If he doesn't want to, I'm not

gonna force him. Call it off, then.

You all must think I'm stupid.

Car broke down?

He could at least face me like a man!

I'm not gonna cry. I spent

too much time on this damn make-up!

- Just stay calm.

- I am calm.

- Then why are you yelling?

- I'm not!

I'll get Ro so you can talk to him.

- No, it's bad luck to see him.

- I thought you wanted to call it off.

Mike, would I be standing here in this

dress if I didn't want to marry him?

- But I won't if he has doubts.

- Lisa, it's Daddy.

- Roland wants to say something.

- Lisa, baby, I'm sorry.

Lisa, I love you.

I want to marry you.

- Go away!

- Come on, girl. Please.

- You need to get out of here.

- I need to see her.

- She won't see you. It's bad luck.

- So she still wants to get married?

- I don't know. Let me handle it.

- All right.

Just give her this.

Give her this.

- Mike, let me get in there.

- What do you want, man?

- Hey, man...

- I'll be cool, Mike.

- Now's not the time.

- I'll be cool.

- I'll be cool.

- Hook me up.

- What's up? People are waiting.

- Shut up, Slim.

- Why?

- You probably told him not to do it.

You're perfect for each other

because you're both nuts.

- N*gger, shut up!

- Listen to him. He wants to marry you.

- Then why did he do this?

- He's scared.

I've known him 13 years -

- and I've never heard him talk about

anybody the way he talks about you.

He wanted me to give that to you.

- Remember that?

- I didn't know he still had this.

It was hot that day at the concert.

Roland and Slim drooled over you.

There wasn't no... I was drooling.

Slim went over to you

and what did he say?

- He introduced me to Roland.

- Think about that.

- That could be Slim out there, crying.

- You all got jokes.

- I'm glad he's got you guys for friends.

- Give me some sugar, too.

- Please take him out of his misery.

- Tell him to stop whining.

- You look beautiful.

- Thank you.

Oh, it's on.

Did you clean it up?

Hurry up before the reverend

changes his mind.

What a joyous occasion

when two come together as one.

Who amongst us

will give this woman to this man?

I do.

You mess up,

I'm going to have to cut you.

May we have the rings?

I now pronounce you man and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

I never thought Roland would get

married. I'm glad to see things change.

- What are you doing?

- You scared me.

I'm trying to hide from Tanya.

She talks too damn much.

We better get in before

Alicia beats his ass again.

- You better run back up in there.

- Tanya's got you cornered, too.

- "Ro, can I have something to drink?"

- "Okay, Tanya."

Very funny. You should be

taking notes from Roland.

- Tonight I'm gonna win the bet.

- Let me explain something to you.

Tanya ain't giving up sh*t

and you're still on lock-down.

- Then why are you here with me?

- We came looking for you.

- I'm with him.

- Oh, you're with him?

You got me, man!

It's not natural to be with one girl.

That just ain't me.

Right. That's what

I've been trying to tell Mr Faithful.

What if she's the sh*t,

like Janet Jackson fine?

No matter. No woman's

going to put a leash around my neck.

I can't even button my shirt to the top

without getting nervous.

- We should play this game for life.

- What game?

- Macking... Hanging.

- I like that.

Macking... Hanging.

Macking... Hanging.

- Ain't that Nichole?

- I'd recognise them legs anywhere.

Ro, run me a little interference

real quick.

What did we know? All that mattered

were your boys, the team.

- We didn't think other things mattered.

- I thought I'd have to dance with Eric.

- That was funny.

- Where are your boys at?

- I don't know. Let's go inside.

- Let me fix you up here.

You hold on to that feeling

until you meet that one.

It happened to Ro

and it'll happen to Slim.

Me? I was a goner that first day

she walked into my classroom.

- May I have this dance, Madame?

- Yes, you may.

- How is life in the Big Apple?

- Cold.

- I still haven't got used to it.

- Finally made it back to Inglewood?

The wedding gave me a good reason

to come back and see an old friend.

- I haven't seen Roland in years.

- You came all the way to see him?

- And Slim, too.

- And Slim?

But you're dancing with me.

So, how cold is it back east?

Let's start this off.

You got the good sound.

This is the best man's toast. Get up.

Before we get started,

I have some bad news.

Reverend Parker was arrested

for impersonating a minister.

So we have to do this again next week.

I love you guys

and I'm going to turn this over to Mike.

I guess since we are the best men

we ought to say something.

We all did a lot of things

to get prepared for today.

I did a lot of thinking.

And I came to a funny conclusion.

I realised how selfish I was.

Because I felt like

I was losing a very dear friend.

That may not sound

like the right thing to say.

But I moved around a lot as a boy

and never knew what it was like -

- to have real true friends,

until I met Roland and Levinio.

You need to stop.

So today I'm a bit upset,

but I'm also very happy -

- and extremely proud of you, man.

I'd like to ask God

to bless Roland and Lisa -

- as they enter a beautiful

new life together.

If he gets out of control,

Slim got a headlock for him.

And we ain't laughing.

To our parents, you know we love

you all and thanks for all the love.

And to the two grown men

who mean the most to me, -

- I'll never forget the times we had -

- and I look forward to the future,

and I love you all.

You're my brothers.

So, let's do this one for the Wood.

- To where it all started.

- The Wood!

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