Boomerang Page #6

And I do have a warrant.

He really does have

a warrant, guys.

You got yourself organized

pretty quickly.

Did you think justice would

never reach these parts?

I knew this was a hotbed of

drugs, crime and treason.

We were in bomb shelters and

you were signaling...!

You lit those blocators so they

could hit us more easily.

It's not 'blocator' but

'locator', from 'location'.

Silence! How dare you tell

me what they're called!

Take her to the delivery room!

- Why are you shouting?

The girl's giving birth.

- How do you know?

I'm a gynecologist.

- But he works as a cab driver.

Over here quick!

- What are we going to do now?

We're going to tape it,

that's what.

Give me some light here!

Quickly!

Listen. -What?

- Film me. -Okay.

I want to change my life.

- Fine, fine.

And give me a copy

afterwards. -Alright.

Grab hold of her legs.

You, hold her arms.

Come on, doctor, deliver it.

Give me some light here.

'Young lady giving birth in

a bar', take one. Action!

Sis, I've begun to work

in the movies.

You with the hole in your

head, get over here.

What's up, fatso?

Olga!

Don't shout at her, man!

Come on, push harder, breathe.

- Are you filming me?

Quiet! Except for you.

Just keep the moaning down.

What's up with her? -Her

Center of Gravity is affected.

You're the girl who was shot

outside the church? -I am.

Let me have a look

at that wound.

Please don't.

I'll do it. Here...

See? -Professionals,

without a doubt!

Did you notice

anything unusual?

I don't think so. The last

thing I remember was a 7.62

caliber bullet approaching me

at unbelievable speed.

I'll kill him. -I didn't

make a fuss about it.

You know how it is.

I was getting married.

That's what I was afraid of.

I love her. Very much.

Give me a double vodka!

- No way!

Excuse me?

- No way and that's that.

And eat sh*t!

No way now, even if you

wanted to pay.

Now I've got proof you

don't serve communists here!

First I'll beat you up and

then you'll go to the slammer.

Then I'll shut you down!

I'm going to stamp out

crime in this country.

You mother f***er!

- Don't be like that.

Choose, left or right hand?

Or maybe you want me

to pour you a beer?

A beer?

Alright then,

I'll have a beer.

Gladly. -I knew it.

Coming right up.

How dare you swear at

my mommy, you ass!

Do you know that I'm...

- I'm an orphan!

...the notorious...

My mom left me at the church

when I was just 3 days old.

Butt...

- F*** you!

Wow, he killed him!

Plug him up!

You have to plug him up!

What a shot!

Birth and death

in one shot.

This is one for the books.

Tape this, follow the action,

don't miss anything.

I'll be right back.

Let's put him in the cellar.

- You've had it, Fatso!

Give us a hand!

- Calm down! Come on, pull!

Open it.

There we go.

- The fat bastard won't fit.

Shall we cut him in two?

- Give me the saw.

He's dead. He won't

feel anything anyway.

Hang on!

- What is it?

I think I know best what

it feels like to be dead.

Get out of the way!

- I guess you're right.

Way to go, bride!

- She's strong!

And why am I going

down into the cellar?

We've got to hide the inspector.

- But I didn't kill him.

Way to go, Mister Bobby!

A bit to sell,

and a bit for personal use.

There's Slim Fast too -

the best way to lose weight.

Shouldn't we have

a drink for his soul?

We should. -You're right.

- Coming right up!

Here you go.

May he rest in peace.

- Cheers!

What about a candle?

- Tony?

You're right.

Customs are customs.

- Absolutely.

Some guy is looking

for you, boss.

Hey, what are you doing!?

- You scared me, you moron.

Admit it, pops, you sh*t

yourself. -I did. So what?

Nothing.

Is my mother inside?

I haven't seen her

since... yesterday.

Tell me, did you two...?

You can't screw

me around.

Did you see what I did to that

girl who stole my cocaine?

Not bad, right

between the eyes.

Give me a vodka.

Right away.

There's no sign of mom. She

took one of Nietzche's books.

I'm really worried.

She's depressed.

Nietzche...? That's

something to worry about.

I'll have a beer.

- Sure.

I'm supposed to meet a guy

here, but I don't see him.

I did it! I had twins!

You didn't, you idiot!

I had them!

I had two twins.

A young kid's just given

birth. No big deal.

I adopt these kids as my own.

If you agree, Slavica.

I agree.

- She agrees.

Don't tell me she's

had the baby?!

I knew I'd miss it.

Did you tape it?

- I'm so happy.

Do you know this is my

first successful delivery?

I don't believe it! -Slavica

would never have had them

if Mister Deaf and Dumb

hadn't grabbed the baby's head

to make room for the other

baby. Never! -I'm so happy.

Take off your glasses

and get over here.

I don't believe it. -Boy,

you're done here. Go home.

I'll complain to the Cab

Drivers Association.

And my uncle, Barry Crystal,

is the chairman.

I'm so scared! -Why are you

giving the kid a hard time?

The young deserve a chance.

You'll be their best man.

Understood, boss.

Come over here, buddy.

Honey, this is our

best man. Look at them.

I'm so happy.

You're drinking beer?

That's good for your milk...

I gave them my precious Rolex.

- What mature kids!

Tell me honestly,

do they look alike?

Now, I'm going to kill you

in front of witnesses.

Over my dead body,

Mister Stampedo.

You're putting me in a

difficult position, sir.

Look, son. I was your dad,

albeit for a short time.

I've got the right

to tell you.

Shame on you for hunting

down this injured woman

and harassing her for

a lousy 3 kilos of cocaine.

Let's talk it over

like real men.

I'll give you the painting,

you give me my wife.

You're crazy.

Can't you see she's damaged?

It's a deal?

- Deal.

Congratulations, son.

Here's Darinka.

Mom's going to

be overjoyed.

It's an original, sir!

- Congratulations!

What's up with you, Olga?

A wreath for the funeral,

young man.

A bouquet for the birth and

one for the wedding.

Who should I console and

who should I congratulate?

Congratulate me.

I had the babies.

The bouquet for the birth.

Granny, you should

see how big they are!

Here! So the kids will

learn how to save.

The bouquet for the wedding?

- For me.

And the funeral wreath?

I'll take it on behalf of the

late Inspector. Thank you.

Slavica, dear, from this day

on I'm going to invest in all

the toilets in the country.

All kinds of people sh*t here!

It's where the money is.

- Way to go, madam.

You've got a nose for business.

- I'm off. My business partners

are waiting for me:

J.B., G.Z., K.S. and P.C. Bye.

Bye, Granny!

- Thanks, Granny!

The music is on me.

This is my song!

Down with folk singers! -I'll

pretend I didn't hear that!

Hooray! Folk singers!

Way to go, Olga!

This is real music!

Mickey, tell your wife

to turn that music off.

Don't make me have to do it.

- Over my dead body, Bobby!

Have you told your wife

to turn the music off?

Don't make me turn

it off for good.

I've told you once, Bobby.

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