Boone: The Bounty Hunter

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1

Get on the ground!

Come on!

Ooh, surf's up.

You're goin' down, Sorbo.

Run for your life, goober!

Ha-ha!

Whoo!

Stop chasing me, you freak!

Ahh!

Pardon us, ma'am.

Oh!

Yeah! Oh!

Keep running.

Just parking tickets.

Come on!

I'm only an actor.

Go, dude!

Denny, here he comes.

Dude, why you lookin'

at the copter?

Run!

Run!

Booney!

Welcome to Boone county.

Ha-ha!

Jackson.

Already there.

Oh, oh, oh!

How did I go from hunting

Hussein to Hercules?

I've done a lot of other

movies and TV shows

since that was on

the air, buddy.

But that was your best work.

This sucks.

Ow, that hurt.

Ugh.

The only legendary journey

you're gonna be taking is...

Your face to the floor.

Don't make me laugh, man.

That's not funny.

Kevin Sorbo,

you just got Boone'd.

America, you're welcome.

Overseas, he served our country.

Kicked ass in Baghdad.

Time to get outta here.

Now, he's back home,

serving ass whoopings

to d-bags here in America.

Whoo!

"Boone the bounty hunter."

You just got Boone'd.

America, you're welcome.

Stop!

It's just a parking ticket!

Get off me.

Hey, there you go!

Son of a b*tch!

Damn.

You guys are about

to get Boone'd.

It's radical action.

He's putting

bad guys in traction.

Seven unpaid parking tickets.

What are you talking about, man?

Parking tickets.

Dude, I live in Beverly hills.

Plans are for goobers.

Starring... Boone.

Surf's up, dirtbag.

Whoo, I got Boone'd!

Yeah!

Also starring Denny,

Jackson, and Kat.

Here comes the Boone.

America, you're welcome.

Good job, everybody.

Let's finish strong.

Get up.

Ow!

You dislocated my shoulder.

Ahh!

It's Boone from TV!

Boone be the glory.

Need these?

Yeah.

Crazy.

Zeus would be disappointed.

Oh, stop it with

the Hercules references.

Can I have your autograph?

Hey, ladies.

Autograph?

I could write a poem

on these things.

Amazing, just amazing.

That was way,

way too rough, man.

Shut up.

Totally unnecessary!

God!

Hey, hey, hey, this is

gonna air before my movie

comes out next month, right?

I'm sure it will.

Okay, good.

Hercules.

It's Hercules.

Boone fans, your Van's

waiting across the street.

Come on, and, uh, don't forget

to sign your release forms.

Hey, tweet me later, okay?

Hashtag...

You okay, foxy grandma?

Yeah.

Listen, if anything

back there was damaged,

let me know.

I'll get production to cover it.

You-you-you're

the bounty hunter from TV.

In the flesh.

And if there's anything

I can do for you,

just name it.

Maybe I could get a autograph.

Absolutely.

Hey, wicked party, Ryan.

You're welcome.

No, no, no, no.

Shh.

Yes, yes, yes.

I've already had way too much.

Oh, this is good for you.

Yo, Ryan, your guy is here.

Dominic, my favorite customer.

Champagne?

No, wait, sorry.

This one's special.

Ryan, I didn't come to drink.

Oh, you came

to hang out with me?

That's so sweet.

You didn't get it again,

did you?

Oh, wait, uh, did you...

Did you come here for...

This?

There's nothin' else like it...

Pure, potent,

and undetectable to dogs.

Not too much.

My daddy makes it extra strong.

Oh, hey, that was mine,

you bad girl.

You know that's expensive.

Don't waste it.

Damn it.

A couple big cases

came out last night,

and we need a season finale.

No more c-listers,

not unless it's for a felony.

Kathy Griffin...

She skipped four counts

of indecent exposure.

Hey, that's a crime

against humanity.

So, you want Boone

to tackle Kathy Griffin?

She'd put a better fight

than Kevin Sorbo.

Let's be serious, people.

Our ratings are down.

We need big numbers

to guarantee season six.

Olivia.

The network is on hold for you.

I'll be right back.

Just pick one.

Well, anything new?

No, it's just

the same crap as usual.

Hey, I got somethin' new.

An Rf camera with

a five-mile range,

and it follows

whoever wears this.

Hey.

I think it likes you, Denny.

Yeah.

All right.

That's pretty cool.

You know how our cameras

sometimes tip off the skip?

Well, if we know

a location beforehand,

we hide these before

anyone gets there.

What kinda movies

you makin', man?

Oh, yeah, yeah,

you know you like it.

Boone!

Hallway.

Now, please?

What is it this time?

Execs wanna cancel the show.

They're bluffing.

Just some suits trying to

score a better deal.

It's real, Boone.

Our numbers are way down

two years in a row.

Next season will be our last.

What if our last episode

does huge numbers?

It's not going to, Boone.

People don't care anymore.

They think this is staged.

Well, then go back

to how we started.

Let's find a real bad guy.

Make headlines.

Boone, I'm sorry.

Cage Bickle.

Hey, colonel, what's crackin'?

Boone?

Yep.

I need some help.

Get a therapist.

With a case.

Remember that favor you owe me?

All right, look, Boone, you

know you're not supposed to be

calling me here at the office.

Well, if you picked up

your cell...

Yeah, I know.

I know.

I am super busy with some

monster cases, right now.

Yeah, look, I get it.

In fact, my cell is ringin'.

Look, Boone, I gotta go.

I gotta take this call.

Give me two minutes.

I wish I could.

I'll call you back.

I promise.

This is cage.

Hey, colonel, long time no talk.

What the hell do you want?

A case, somethin' hot.

Is this for your TV show?

I'm still a bounty hunter first,

the best you ever worked with.

You know DEA can't be

sharing intel with civilians.

I'm good at keepin' secrets.

You know that.

And after this, we're even?

What do ya got?

Get in, babe.

Let's test your

snorkeling skills.

It feels fizzy.

Taste it.

Like, now you're afraid

of what goes in your mouth?

Come on.

Try it.

Champagne infused.

Costs me 12 large every

time I fill it up.

Ryan!

Oh, damn it.

Just if he asks

you any questions,

you don't speak English.

Ryan!

Jump on in.

You, too, sexy tessy.

Did you share anything with her?

Oh, a couple times.

She's a grand an hour.

You really think

I would waste a second

talking about my dad?

You're Cole Davenport?

Oh, come on, shut it.

No, no, no.

Please, I-i want to know

more about my son's friends.

She's not a friend.

She's a whore.

Even better.

Ryan was telling me

about your new product.

I have people high up

in distribution

who could really...

Oh, my god!

Now, I have to drain

the whole thing!

That's not water, dad!

That's wasteful!

You wanna talk about waste?

Waste is when you have

a warehouse full of people

slaving for ten months

to produce enough product

for one massive shipment,

and then I have my son

steal some of the product,

use it with his girlfriend,

and now she's dead on the floor!

That was an accident.

Well, you know what?

Your accident now has my product

in her bloodstream.

You know what that means?

The feds know what to look for.

So, I want you to get

your ass out of that pool,

because I need to go

down to the plant

to speed up production,

and you are comin' with me.

No!

I can't have you mouthin'

off to the FBI.

I mean...

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