Born to Be Bad Page #2

my telephone call.

Careful or i'll shut off

the water. Who are you?

I'm christabel caine.

Ok, chris,

where's the salt?

I don't know.

You'd know

if you lived here.

Does miss foster

know you do this?

I think you'd better

get out of here.

Now, where's

the pepper?

I don't know.

You don't know very much, do

you? Well, you don't have to.

'Cause you're

awful pretty.

I'll start things

in the kitchen.

Here, you hide in here,

and i'll fix it

so you can crash

the party later.

Donna!

Donna, there's a monster in your kitchen!

What?

She always keeps her monsters on ice.

Hi, nick.

Where do you hide the

mustard? Hiya, curtis.

Hello, nick.

I was afraid you wouldn't get here.

Been wondering the same thing

about you. Do you know this woman?

I'm sorry, nick.

This is-

i know.

We've been rassling.

Give me another.

I left a manuscript here

for you to read, remember?

It's good...

except in places, i think

it's still too brutal.

That's funny. I copied whole

passages right out of little women,

just for people

like you.

I know the stories you've

told me about china.

Stop acting as if china was a garden party.

I've always wanted to know

somebody who's been to china.

Tell me about it.

A lot of chinese

live there.

She's real pretty.

At least

i'm well-mannered.

Thanks, curtis.

Who is he?

The monster?

Nick bradley.

Friend of yours?

Well, donna

knew him first.

She discovered him.

He's an author.

Oh, her protege?

Oh, i didn't mean

that.

Ha ha! I know

you didn't.

Let me take that.

All those people...

all right.

Hello, senator.

Good evening,

curtis.

All those people are

very anxious to meet you.

I'll make it as painless

as possible.

This is your house?

Yes. Big, isn't it?

Donna should be

very happy here.

You know, they used to say about

me that my slip was showing-

my bank deposit slip.

Oh, that's

because they know

all the wonderful things you're doing-

charities, foundations, everything.

Uncle john's told me

all about you.

There's still an awful lot

of people without money

who expect me to apologize

for having it.

Ha ha! Well,

don't you do it.

Don't worry.

I never do.

You're very wise.

You know, i think

i'm going to like you.

Come on, let's go.

Hello, gobby. Tried to find

you during intermission.

I was being

trampled on.

What's

on your mind?

I want you to invest in something terrific.

I told you you'd

be beautiful.

Thank you, sir.

Invest in what?

In me, of course. I want

to have a one-man show

late this summer-

august maybe.

It will cost about $500, but what's money?

Mine or yours?

Yours, of course.

I have none.

Well, don't be

so smug about it.

Where are the herkimers?

My palm is itching.

Hello, uncle john.

Why, hello.

Hello, john.

This niece of yours

turns out to be a very

surprising young lady.

Quite surprising.

I'll be

right back.

I thought we decided that you

weren't coming until tomorrow.

I wanted to come

to the party.

Besides, it was much better for aunt clara.

Did you know she took a trip down

here today to arrange things for you?

I knew she came

to see the doctors.

Did you call her

and let her know?

I did it the first thing, uncle john.

Good.

John, this is

nick bradley.

Hello, mr. Caine.

I've been looking forward to seeing you.

Have you read it yet?

Not yet, but if donna

says it's a good book,

i'll certainly read it.

Put it on my desk

monday, will you?

You can take it home

with you tonight.

She's a tough critic. Had me

rewriting for months. I hated her.

Do you go around

hating everybody?

Do you two know

each other?

Oh, yes.

We're old friends.

Had a lot of laughs

together, haven't we?

Mr. Caine, i'd like you to

see a portrait i just painted.

I did mrs. Herkimer.

They're supposed to be here.

I heard the herkimers

were getting a divorce.

She left him,

anyway.

Oh, no. Now i'm stuck

with mrs. Herkimer.

You don't know

who she left him for, do you?

Ha ha ha!

Here we are.

You look even better

awake than sleeping.

Hmm?

You were asleep when i first

came in. Very appealing.

Donna tells me you're going

to the business school.

When you go to school,

i'm going to carry

your books for you.

What kind of books

are they?

I'm going to be

a file clerk.

At least, that's what

i'm going to start out as

after donna and curtis are married.

A file clerk? You?

It's not always easy

working for a relative.

They sometimes bend over

backwards not to show favoritism.

Not planning to take

donna's place, are you?

Oh, yes.

Have you seen

the view?

Yes.

It looks better

with me in it.

Curtis.

Yes.

You promised

to introduce me.

Right away.

If she played

her cards right...

she could win me.

Smells good.

What is it?

Beef stroganoff

- specialty of the house.

You could have

had it sooner.

I didn't miss it.

How do you know? You haven't tasted it yet.

How come donna

broke down

and let you visit a

strange man's apartment?

Oh, she didn't make me

turn you down

the other times

you called.

It was just that-

well, i was so busy

with school and having

my portrait painted.

Tagging around with donna and curtis.

Can you think

of any better company?

Me.

Oh. Ha ha!

How's

your shorthand?

Oh, it's terrible.

I've given it up.

How come?

Well, i don't think i can ever

replace donna in the office.

No, i don't

suppose you can.

Why not?

Now, look, it was

your idea, not mine.

Now, sing

for your supper.

Tell me the story

of your life.

Well, it's not

very wonderful.

Just a girl

who lost her parents

and went to live

with her poor aunt.

Of course, i could have

gone to live with uncle john.

He's the rich member

of the family,

but aunt clara

needed me.

It was worth

the sacrifice

just to bring her

a little happiness.

Go on.

That's all.

Ok, i'll get

the rest later.

Well, i told you, though,

there isn't any more.

I know you did, but that

isn't going to stop me.

I want to know

what's going on

in that pretty

little head-

in both

those heads.

What does that mean?

I think there are

two of you.

One is fictional-

a little gal

who sees herself getting

all the things she never had-

and the other one is real,

and i like her a lot.

Ha ha! Now you sound

like an author.

I am an author

and a darn good one.

You want to stay away

from me, don't you, chris?

At least

one of you does.

Why is that?

What's the reason,

chris? Is it this?

You want to know

something?

You're like me...

both of you.

Stop turning your head

and hold still.

Are you

this disagreeable

to all the women

you paint?

Yes, if they persist

in talking.

You don't care much

for women, do you?

My dear girl,

apart from painting,

my major occupation is convincing

husbands that i'm harmless.

Now can we get to work?

You would like to have

this shown, wouldn't you?

Of course i would. I've even

sacrificed business school for you.

Immediately

after flunking out.

That's not true.

Relax.

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