Born Yesterday Page #2

In the morning

I go in the front way and collect.

- Twelve years old, you were.

- Yeah, something like that.

- Pretty soon you own the whole yard.

- Right.

This guy, the jerk,

he works for me now.

You know who else works for me?

The kid whose paper route I swiped.

I figure I owe him.

That's the way I am.

Pretty good years for the junk business,

the last few.

- I ain't kickin'.

- Do you anticipate any decline now?

- Talk plain, pal.

- Is it still going to be good?

- We'll make it good.

- Who's we?

- "We" is me, that's who.

- I see.

- Fancy talk don't go with me.

- Come right in.

- Good evening.

- Hello.

- I'll get out of your way.

- No, don't go. I like ya.

Stick around, play your cards right,

I'll put you on the payroll.

Once over light and no talk. Just brush

'em up. I get a manicure every day.

Over there someplace.

Okay, fella, go ahead, go ahead.

I've been wondering

what you're doing in Washington.

What are you, some wonder boy?

- Not so tight.

- Sorry, sir.

Sightseein'.

That's what I'm doin' in Washington.

Some talk you may be around a long time,

that you've come to find out about...

- So far I've been nice. Don't pump me.

- How is it going?

How are you getting on

with King Junk?

Great. Found out he was born

in Plainfield, New Jersey.

- He sure is a tough man to dig.

- I can't believe it. He loves to talk.

Oh, Billie. This is my friend

Paul Verrall. Billie Dawn.

How do you do?

- Wait a minute.

- What's the matter?

Where do you think you're goin'

with that? Put it back.

- I just wanted to...

- I know what you wanted. Put it back.

- Why can't I...

- Because I say you can't.

We got somebody important comin'.

I don't want you stinkin'.

- Can't I just...

- Go change, and don't give me trouble.

Do what I'm tellin' ya!

Barber, what will you take

to cut his throat?

- Some jokes I don't like.

- Don't get excited.

Don't tell me what to do.

Just a joke, Harry.

- That's all.

- I'm not quite finished.

I said beat it.

You too.

- I guess I'll be going too.

- No, don't go. Stick around.

- You're the only friend I got left.

- I live just around the corner.

If anyone starts beating you,

just scream and I'll come running.

- Bye, Jim. Thanks.

- Good-bye.

I need Billie's signature

on a few things.

Sure. Billie!

You sore?

Not sore, Harry.

You look funny.

I know.

Don't you feel good?

You want an aspirin?

No, no, I'm fine.

In fact, considering I've been dead

for 16 years, I'm in remarkable health.

What?

Come over here right away!

Hey, would you please fix

this safety catch?

He's sure got good lungs.

Yeah. Thanks.

There's a shortcut through the service.

This way.

Oh.

- That's the door down there, honey.

- Thanks, honey.

Sometime I don't

understand you at all.

Sometime?

- What do you want?

- Jim.

A few things

I want you to sign, honey.

That's all I do around here

is sign.

Too bad about you.

- What time is this congressman comin'?

- Any time now.

I'd better get fixed up.

She look all right to you?

- Look who's talkin'.

- Tell me if somethin's wrong.

I don't wanna start off

on no left foot.

What got into him?

Nothing.

Just wants to make a good impression.

So let him.

Two places on this one, please.

What happened to all that stuff

I signed last week?

All used up.

I bet I must've signed

about a million of these.

That's what you get for being

a multiple corporate officer.

I am?

What do you know?

You've come a long way

from the chorus, all right.

I wasn't only in the chorus.

I spoke lines.

- Really?

- Of course.

- How many?

- How many what?

Lines did you speak?

Five.

- I never knew that.

- Ask anybody.

I believe you.

I coulda been a star, probably,

if Id have stuck to it.

Why didn't you?

Harry didn't want me

bein' in the show.

He didn't want to share me

with the general public.

I see.

He's changed, Harry.

Don't you think so?

- How?

- He used to be more satisfied.

Now he's always

runnin' around like this.

- Why'd he have to come to Washington?

- Long story.

Well, don't tell it to me.

I don't care where he goes.

I just wish he'd settle down.

- He's ambitious.

- I know.

He talks all the time now.

He never used to.

He keeps me up half the night

telling me what a big man he is...

how he's gonna be bigger,

run everything.

He may at that.

Personally, I don't care

one way or the other.

- Take it easy.

- Look, now don't you start!

Better if you drink tater,

after they're gone.

- Who, this congressman guy?

- And Mrs. Hedges.

- Harry says this fella works for him.

- In a way.

So what's he puttin' it on for?

Just he nice.

And no rough language.

- I won't open my mush.

- I didn't mean that.

I don't have to be down here at all.

I could go back to my place.

In fact, I think I will.

- Harry wouldn't like it.

- All right, all right, all right.

- How are you, Norval?

- Can't complain.

Haven't seen you in a long time, Anna.

Come on in.

You oughta remember this little lady,

great first-nighter like you.

- She used to be Billie Dawn.

- Oh, yes. Yes, indeed.

Billie, this is Mr. Norval Hedges

I've told you so much about.

- How do you do?

- How do ya do?

And this is Mrs. Hedges, Billie.

- Glad to meet you.

- Glad to meet ya.

It's a lovely evening.

- How about the terrace?

- That would he nice.

- What about a drink?

- Sounds all right to me.

- Scotch?

- Fine.

- Scotch all around, Eddie.

- Right.

He's awfully tired.

Standing over

a hot resolution all day?

Just about.

How do you like Washington,

Mrs. Brock?

I haven't seen it yet.

You mean this is the very first time

you've been here?

That's what I mean.

I never went on the road.

We must show you around.

Beautiful city.

Too bad the Supreme Court

isn't in session. You'd love that.

What is it?

Lots of people would like to know

the answer to that one.

- Hello, everybody.

- Mr. Hedges, Harry Brock.

It's about time we got together.

And I suppose this is Mrs. Hedges.

- Happy to make your acquaintance.

- Thank you.

Sit down.

Congressman.

- Have a good trip down?

- Sure. I came in my car.

Stopped off in Baltimore on the way.

I got a junkyard there.

Second one I picked up.

Before that, I only had one yard.

- How many do you have now?

- I couldn't answer that one, baby...

- Excuse me.

- Oh, that's all right.

I don't know why I like this Baltimore

outfit. I just get a feeling from it.

- Sentimental.

- That's it. I'm sentimental.

Well, I think we're all

a bit sentimental.

Yeah.

Well, it's a free country.

Do you play bridge, Mrs. Brock?

No. Only gin.

- I beg your pardon.

- Gin rummy.

Oh, yes, of course.

I was going to ask you to join

a few of us girls. We meet now and then.

I don't play bridge.

- You could learn!

- I don't think so!

Sure, you could.

She couldn't play gin till I learned

her. Now she beats my brains out.

How are you fixed for time tomorrow?

I wanted to bring Harry over.

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