Bottom of the World Page #4

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No!

I remember.

How can that be possible?

How can I remember?

How can I remember

the dirt falling in on me?

You dropped him... Me.

Into the hole.

Until there was only my face

and my fingertips.

And then the rain came,

pellets of it. Bullet-sized.

Do you remember?

You remember, don't you?

It filled my lungs and my throat

with mud.

Even if I wasn't paralyzed,

there was no fighting

against it.

There was nothing I could do.

Look at me!

I want you to know

what happened to me.

Do you know what happened to me?

He died, of course.

First there was fear.

And in those last few seconds,

I knew I would die.

I felt my body slip away.

I saw the world darken.

I felt the weight of that mud

pressing down on me.

And my heart beat so fast

until it just collapsed.

And I left myself.

Don't you know that you're the

one that I've been waiting for

all of this time?

Now pick up the shovel.

Pick it up!

Pick up the shovel!

Go on.

Just take it.

Can't you see that

you're nothing anymore?

You're not Alex.

You're not some hooded man.

You're not the little boy

that I killed.

- Shut up.

- You don't even exist.

You're only good for one thing,

and you know it.

So just do it.

Just hit me.

What?

Just do it. Hit me.

- I deserve it.

- Shut up.

I deserve it. I want it.

- I want it, Alex.

- No.

- Hit me!

- Shut up.

No.

You know,

if you really were him...

If you really were Wayne,

I'd watch you drown 1,000 times.

Every night I would beat you

and cut you

and drag you into another hole.

And I'd watch you,

and your eyes, your wild eyes,

as earth spills in on you.

And you'd finally understand

that this is it. This is it!

And I'm the one

who's kneeling in front of you,

filling your grave

with laughter.

- Stop it.

- And I would say it again

and again and again.

A man in a hood

came and broke in

and he threw you into a hole,

- and then he raped me.

- Shut up.

It was so easy.

It was so easy and

they would all comfort me.

And they would make me feel

so much better.

And they would never know

that you could never die

- enough for me.

- Shut up!

" I know now

I must be accountable

for my unspeakable actions.

"And don't worry, just death

comes to all things.

"Flesh, blood, bone...

are all just temporal.

"Rock lasts forever.

"Which is where

my spirit will reside.

"I love you. Scarlett."

Alex.

I go hungry

Pick at the shell

Paw the bottom

Of the well

I wear

My body

I go bottom

Struggle for air

I go humming

"Like a Prayer"

I wear

My body

I wear my body

like a rotted peach

You can have it

if you handle the stink

I'm as open as a gutted pig

On the small of every back

You'll see a picture of me

Wearing my body

I go guzzle

Scrap from the bin

Take it all

On the chin

I wear

My body

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