Boulevard Page #3

I don't know.

Yeah.

Sometimes it's nice to be somewhere else.

I'm gonna go use the facility. I'll be right back.

Okay?

- Nolan? What a surprise. - Dan. Dan.

Gloria, you remember Nolan Mack, don't you?

- At the bank mixer last month. - Hello, Nolan.

Gloria, good to see you again.

Must be a big occasion. Is Joy here? I'll say hello.

Oh, no, I'm here with her wife's nephew... my wife's nephew.

It's her sister's boy Leo.

- Oh, must be your favorite nephew. - Yes.

Well, it was nice to see you, Nolan.

You, too, Dan, Gloria.

Our best to your wife.

Can I come in?

Another time, sure.

Okay, of course.

Hey, princess. Where's my money?

Went out.

- You went out? - Yeah.

Where the f*** you going out, huh?

I just went out.

Whoa, whoa, hold still, hold still.

Now, listen, you know I hate doing this, princess,

but you chose this line of work.

I'm gonna ask you one more time... where's my f***ing money?

I don't have any... oh!

Did you just f***ing lie to me?

Is that what just happened?

- Mm-mm. - Then where's my f***ing money?

I just seen you with that f*ggot. So I know you got some.

No, I don't. I don't.

F*** you, motherf***er...

did you just f***ing lie to me twice in a row?

Did you just f***ing lie to me twice in a row?!

You just lied to me twice! F***!

So you two faggots, you were just... you were just on a date,

you were just talking, hmm?

You're just out on a f***ing date.

Motherf***er, I don't believe anything.

Get the f*** up, you f***er.

- What else you got?! - Nothing!

I don't f***ing believe you.

Now what's this? Whoo!

Hey, where'd you get this fancy-ass phone, princess?

Now listen, I want my money.

And I want it right f***ing now!

- You f***ing... - Hey! Hey!

Just leave him alone!

- Leave him alone! - Oh, sh*t. Look who it is.

Hell, let's hear what she has to say.

- I'm calling the police. - Hell, f***, you go right ahead.

I think that's a f***ing great idea.

I'll them how this old f*ggot is paying my young whore

to suck his old chicken-hawk dick.

Now my new phone or yours? Which one, hmm?

Hey, what do you want? Please, please, you...

- F***. - You want money?

I have cash, okay? How much to leave him alone?

Now we're talking. What, you got some money?

Yeah, here, please. Here you go.

This is, um...

it's like $150 right there, just take it.

Take it all and just leave him alone, okay?

- Please. - F***ing hell.

Go on, pick that sh*t up for me.

Oh, my goodness.

Just please.

Just leave him alone and leave the phone.

- The phone? - Yeah.

Hell, f***.

You can keep the f***ing thing. I already got my own anyway.

B*tch.

I mean, I'm real glad we could sort this out like a couple of adults.

It was real cool.

Is violence your answer to everything?

Honey, I'm sorry.

Ah!

Yes, it is.

You f***ing faggots.

Oh, you're still bleeding.

- There. - Mm.

All right, we may need to go to a doctor.

Hey, come on now. Shh, shh.

There you go.

Just let me hold it.

Okay, okay.

You're gonna have a black eye tomorrow.

Yeah.

What do you think your wife is gonna say?

Well, I don't know.

Come on, lie back on the pillow, okay?

- Just lie back. - I don't wanna.

Come on, come on.

There you go.

Keep applying pressure, okay?

Let's see if there's something to make sure you don't get infected.

Doesn't look that bad.

Get's worse.

Really?

60 years old and my first shiner.

Do you have any antiseptic or peroxide?

Do you...

- Here you go. - Oh, I fell asleep.

It stopped bleeding.

I'm gonna leave, okay?

If you want.

Oh, my God.

- Hey. - Hey.

My God, Nolan, what happened?

Attractive, huh?

What the hell happened?

Oh, there was a filing cabinet, you know, Q through S jammed,

and I don't know my own strength.

That has to be the worst excuse I've ever heard,

and I'm in a position to hear a lot of them.

Did the dog eat your homework as well?

I can't fool you, can I?

No, you can't. So what happened?

What, were you out fighting crime in your secret life?

There it is.

You figured it out.

Oh, I forgot.

Is Patty hiring anybody, you know, right now at the restaurant?

You know, there's a thing called the segue.

It gets you from one topic to the next one.

Look into it.

Well, listen, it's for a relative of a friend.

You know, the kid needs a break. I'm just trying to help somebody out.

Yeah, I... I can ask, I guess.

I should have some sway with the management here, I assume.

Thank you.

Yeah, you sure you're okay?

Yeah, of course.

- All right. - I'm great.

So they're calling him the new Updike.

I don't get it, he's too sentimental.

Sometimes, I guess.

No, he is. What he gets ultimately just seems faked.

Or as Winston would say, like horseshit.

Where is that man when we need him, hmm?

What?

You should be teaching.

I do teach. Three nights a week.

Yeah, well, the university... you know what I'm saying.

A filing cabinet? Seriously?

It was just a stupid accident.

Well... for now...

English as a second language three nights a week is plenty for me.

Believe me, I don't miss the politics.

- Do you want something to drink? - No, I'm fine.

How was your dinner last night with Cat?

Well, you know Cat.

We just talked about that ESL conference

we have to spend the whole weekend at.

We tried to go to that sub shop on Broadway, but it's closed.

Did you know that?

Hey.

"Masculin Fminin."

The Children of Marx and Coca-Cola.

Certainement.

Remember it?

Of course I do.

Winter of 1977.

We saw it at the Fine Arts.

You, in your exquisite way,

you explained the entire movie to me scene by scene.

I'm sure the rest of the people in the caf loved that,

but it was kind of wonderful.

The restaurant?

Sub Stop?

I'm sorry I lied about it.

I know.

You always watch this.

Because it's you.

Hey.

Hey.

That friend of yours who manages the restaurant, she called me.

- Yeah? - Yeah, she's gonna try me out.

Just she says I need a white shirt and black pants.

I have black jeans, but I think she means a button-up shirt.

Oh, I'm sure she does.

Tell you what, when I get out today,

I'll come get you and we'll get you some.

O-okay.

Okay.

Bye.

Well, I guess I should go.

No, that... that's okay.

No, we have our rules.

See ya.

So how come we don't do more?

Oh, we do enough. This...

No, you know, I mean, like, sex.

I don't know.

Is it because you have a wife?

Maybe.

This isn't cheating?

Yeah, it probably is.

I should get going.

Wait, um...

Here, I... I got you something.

It's no big deal.

I just found it, you know, over by the video store.

- A Western. - Yeah.

- You found it. - Yeah, I don't know.

You know, it's for you. They only had VHS, so...

No, that's all right.

I'm sure I have a machine somewhere that can play this.

Oh, thank you, Leo.

- It's good. - Yeah.

It is, it's...

Okay, then.

Thanks.

- Hey. - Hi, Nolan.

- Good to see you. - Yeah, good to see you.

- Hey. - Is the madman around?

Yeah. No, he's, um... no, he's...

look, Nolan, I'm sorry, but that young man,

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