Bounce Page #6

You know,

like it wasn't safe.

So I tried to climb

in the back seat.

And I broke his nose

with my foot.

I had this contraction

and pow,

I just got him right there.

And he could not drive,

I mean, the blood was pouring.

So I had to drive the rest

of the way to the hospital,

screaming and crying

and driving.

[Sighs]

And he had

a beautiful nose.

I mean, you know,

a good face, handsome, but...

a beautiful nose.

That's all I could think about

the whole time I was delivering.

Oh, I ruined his nose.

And later, you know...

He didn't even know

he did this, but...

when we'd have a fght,

you know, he'd kind of

touch his nose like...

You know, like Danny Kaye

in White Christmas

with the arm.

Like, "You owe me, pal."

Oh, God, it used

to make me so mad.

What?

I don't know how women

get so brave.

That's all.

You think that's brave?

I was so scared.

God, I'm always

so scared.

It's not brave

if you're not scared.

Well...

You have a good face, too.

OK.

[Laughs Nervously]

Well...

um, thank you.

Thanks for the tickets.

No problem.

Good night.

Good night.

[Starts Engine]

Good night.

What do you think?

It's fne.

You get a window,

I get to work for a guy

who gets a window.

What are you doing

in here already?

It's not even 8:
00.

I'm early.

How'd the date go

with the realtor?

It was fne, I guess.

Fine, huh?

I thought she was nice.

What happened?

What is this,

Gay Confdant Day?

Want me to hang on

while you go get a blow-dryer?

Hey, I don't

give a sh*t.

I'm just making

conversation.

Well, it went fne,

you know.

I'm not interested,

so, uh...

if she calls,

just, uh, tell her I'm out,

or tell her I'm busy

and take a message

and tell her I'll get back

to her, OK?

And if she calls back?

Just keep taking messages.

She'll get the point.

You know, that's what I

love about working for you.

It's a total freedom

from hero-worship.

It's very refreshing.

Buddy:

Look, you're the client.

That's not what I'm saying.

I'm just saying

it's not in sync

with your ram positioning.

It's Jim on 3. Urgent.

Right.

OK. Can I call you

right back?

All right, thanks. Bye.

What's up, Jim?

Abby:
No, it's Abby.

It's... It's AbbyJanello.

H-Hi.

Hey. I just... I thought

you were somebody else.

Buddy:
Um...

How are you?

I, uh...

I had a really good time

the other night.

Really?

Um, listen, I'm just

across the street,

and I've got all these

extra sets of keys

for the doors

and everything,

and I thought

maybe I could, um...

you know, buy you

and Jim a drink

to celebrate moving in.

Jim's in a meeting.

Uh, and I... I don't drink.

Buddy:
Uh...

Oh.

Um, uh, OK. I can

just, uh, mail them.

How about 10 minutes?

OK. Great.

Buddy:

I'll see you there.

[Beep]

You know what, Seth?

That's not funny.

OK? You don't know what

you're messing with.

Hey.

Hey.

I ordered you

a club soda.

I hope that's OK.

Yeah. That's fne.

[Clears Throat]

You know, my husband

didn't drink, either.

Not even champagne

at our wedding.

I used to drink.

I just don't anymore.

Oh.

A.A.?

Yeah. 6 months.

Oh.

Well, that's great.

I had an uncle

who was in A.A.,

and he was, like,

a really bad drunk.

So was I.

I'm sorry. I don't know

why I said that.

The drinking

wasn't the worst part.

It was the thinking

I was such hot stuff.

I've always been

one of those people.

Born salesman. A closer.

People person.

Ew.

But I wasn't,

not by a long shot.

It's like

how everybody thinks

that they have

a good sense of humor

or good taste.

Or they're

a good driver.

[Sighs]

I'd be driving along,

and I'd, uh, happen to look up

in the rearview mirror.

And there'd be all these...

bloody people and crashed cars

in the street,

and I'd think, "Jesus,

there's a lot of bad drivers

in this neighborhood."

That was me with people.

I'd like to, uh...

[Sighs]

I'd like to tell you

that I've wised up...

but I don't know.

Yeah.

I get it.

You're bad

with relationships.

And as a person

who's standing

in the road ahead

of you, thanks.

I'll be, uh...

getting on

the sidewalk now.

Abby...

No. You know,

it's OK. I...

I took a shot, you know?

I think

I misread stuff, and...

I'm sorry.

I'm just really

grateful to you

for throwing me the sale

and everything.

Bye.

Abby.

Abby.

Abby, wait a second,

all right?

I am not divorced,

Buddy.

My husband died

a little over

a year ago,

and I am sorry that I wasn't

honest with you about it,

but you know what?

It's too soon for me,

and it is way too soon

for my boys,

so just leave me alone.

I'm sorry.

Everybody's sorry.

And nobody's to blame,

except, you know,

sometimes I think exactly

the opposite is true.

God. Do you have

a cigarette?

No. Abby, I...

I'm sorry

that I lied to you,

but I liked thinking of

me and Greg as divorced.

Everybody's divorced.

It feels like

a decision we made

instead of fate

or bad luck

or chance...

Plane crash.

Come on, please.

Let's just go back inside

and start over, OK?

Don't be nice to me.

Everybody is nice

to widows.

You were the frst

person in over a year

Abby:
who was nice

to me who didn't know.

Listen...

I was wrong in there.

I just didn't

want you to think

I was this great guy.

I wanted to tell you before

you found out for yourself.

I got scared.

What is it

that you want, Buddy?

Your company.

The pleasure

of your company.

I want your input

on video rentals.

I stand there for hours,

and I can't pick anything out.

I want someone

to say good night to,

a last call of the day.

I don't have a last call

of the day.

Do you?

Don't feel sorry for me.

I'm happy.

I'm widow happy.

I'm widow-with-2-kids

happy.

If you grade on a curve,

I'm happy.

I don't feel sorry

for you.

OK?

Oh, OK.

Oh, well.

OK, then nothing

with knives, snakes,

or women that have to go

undercover as hookers.

The videos.

[Laughs]

OK.

Donna:
Don't worry. I don't

think he's bored, do you?

Abby:

Honey, it's a cookout.

Of course he's bored.

Aren't you?

Donna:

So, how far's he gone?

Nowhere.

You know, he's nice.

It's no big deal.

Mm-hmm.

It's just that, um...

you know when

you go to a table,

and a guy does that,

like, halfway thing,

like he's going

to stand up?

He does that.

I love when guys do that.

[Boy Yells]

[People Chattering]

Scott:
Mom...

can I be excused?

Yes, you may be excused.

Wait, wait, wait.

CD-Rom, not AOL, OK?

Abby:

It costs money.

Buddy:
Hey, do you

have Where's Waldo?

I'm 8, OK?

Scott:
Come on, Joey.

Mama?

Abby:
It's OK.

You can take that in.

Just don't put the drink

on the desk.

OK.

I knew I shouldn't have

brought up Waldo.

Well, he is 8.

Abby:
I mean...

Woman:
Hey, here,

let me help you.

Abby:
Oh, no, no, no.

I'm going to do it later.

[Music Playing On TV]

[Turns Off]

Man:
And you're ready

for takeoff.

Buddy:
Hey, Scott.

What are you doing?

Man:
We're losing

altitude.

Losing.

Man:

Pull up, pull up!

Yeah?

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