Box of Moon Light Page #2

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and it would send

you flying 10, 15 feet

out into the middle of the lake.

It was incredible... really.

There's a swimming pool

over in Neeterboro.

They've got a slide.

Oh. Ok.

Well, thank you, Doris.

Thank you. Have a nice day.

What the hell is this?

"Eddie's mix."

Mix of what?

Just a little drive, that's all.

I'm taking a drive down the road.

Life is a drive...

down the road.

Al Fountain...

Saturday,

June 30th...

Here I come!

I'm gonna get you!

Mom! Mom!

Jackie's trying to spit on me!

Jackie, stop it right now.

Leave your sister alone.

Ok, mom.

I'm just gonna tickle her.

Come here, Candy.

No! Stop! Mom, he's still doing it.

Jackie,

If I have to get your father,

You won't eat tonight.

Come on!

Jackie!

Jackie, I'm going

to wake up your father.

Is that what you want?

Have you ever heard of a place

called splashy lake?

No, but there's a Splatchee Lake

Oh, how do you spell that?

S-p-l-a-t-c-h- double e.

C-h-double e.

Splatchee, not splashy.

Is there paddle boats,

picnic tables... A big slide?

Oh, yeah. Lots of amusements.

I can't believe it.

I've been looking all over

for this place.

I don't know why, really.

I spent a couple days there

when I was a kid,

And I just remember

having a great time.

Me, too.

My brother and I drowned

a cat there once.

Is that right?

Listen, how's the food across the street?

Best I ever ate.

Thank you.

That pie almost looks

homemade, doesn't it?

Mm-hmm.

It does look homemade.

More coffee?

No, thanks.

I get off in half an hour.

Thank god!

First thing I'm going to do

is take off all my clothes,

take a nice, long, hot shower.

That sounds good.

You staying over at the motel?

Actually, yes. I am.

How's the hot water over there?

I don't know.

I haven't tried it yet.

Why?

Just curious.

Just curious, huh?

If she's just curious,

why the hell doesn't she call the motel

and ask them how

the hot water is?

What does she think,

I was just gonna invite her over here

so she could take a shower?

Introducing our exciting

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heavenly faith.

Jesus is strong,

but he needs your help.

Send a check now payable

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Hello.

I'm Varla, and I'm lonely.

Who are you?

Norman.

What a sexy name.

It's making me very hot

and horny just saying it.

Norman.

Wait, there's somebody at the door.

their eyes red with lust.

They rip my gown off,

exposing my naked body

to their evil gaze.

Just as they are about to ravish me,

I stick my fingers into their eyes

and rip out both their eyeballs.

Excuse me... Varla?

I'm sorry, but, uh...

This isn't too stimulating.

Oh, there's that doorbell again.

Oh, it's you...

Norman.

You stand there staring at me.

I'm totally naked

Except for 2 bleeding

human eyeballs in my hands.

You say, "Varla,

I have never before

seen a more beautiful,

hot, sexy woman."

Say it, Norman.

Say it now.

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

It's not where you're going

but how you get there that counts.

Al Fountain.

Wait a second.

It's not how you get there

but where you're going that counts.

Is that right?

Jesus Christ.

What is it?

Well, wherever you're going,

I hope to Christ you get there!

Ha ha ha ha!

Oh!

It wouldn't be a very smart thing

for him to do.

Don't think he's gonna

go in, do you?

That's why I wanna talk

to him a little bit.

That wouldn't be a real good idea.

Hello, there.

You're not contemplating a swim, are you?

No, no. no, I'm not.

The wife thought you were going in.

There's a chemical plant

around that cove

Been dumping formaldehyde

in the lake for 15 years.

You step in,

and it'll burn your feet right off.

Jesus!

Thanks for telling me.

No problem.

Didn't wanna have to go in after you.

I'm Luvven Coddle.

This is my wife Wynelle.

Howdy.

Hi.

Al Fountain.

Pleased to meet you.

It is a nice day.

Yeah.

Can I ask you,

is everything all right, Al?

Oh, sure.

Everything's fine.

I haven't been here since I was a kid.

It's kind of a shock

to see it like this.

I can imagine.

But we're used to it.

We walk here every day.

I'm not used to it.

This was a beautiful lake.

You ever go down that slide, Al?

Yes, I did.

Me, too.

Just like flying, wasn't it?

Like a bird

out over that water.

That's exactly what it was like...

flying.

I remember

shooting down that slide and flying...

My God, it must have been...

Oh, 15, 20 feet.

Yeah! Right out into

the middle of the lake.

I remember my dad was yelling

for me to come in.

I pretended like I didn't hear him

and just stayed out there.

And I kept on going down that slide

even though I knew

he was going to give it

to me soon as I got in.

What do you mean, give it to you, Al?

Well, he pulled down my suit

right here on the beach

and he spanked me

with this slide rule

he always carried

around with him.

I'm very sorry to hear that, Al.

It must have been...

humiliating.

Al, can I ask you...

is there something

else troubling you?

Well, what do you mean?

Forgive me for prying, but I...

I sense a yearning in you,

A searching...

Almost as if you're lost.

You've been lost for a long, long time.

Am I right?

Have you found Jesus, Al?

Why? Is he missing?

No. No, Al.

He's with us right now, right here.

Oh. I thought I saw somebody

walking on the water over there.

I don't think your salvation

is a laughing matter, Al.

Have a nice day.

Nice to meet you.

Some people, man,

they got to stick their nose...

Why they can't just mind

their own...

But no, that's not enough.

They have to just...

How about the salvation

of your ass, pal...

When I stick my foot up it?

Holy...

Aah!

Wow!

That was great, man.

You all right?

For crying out loud,

what the hell were you doing?

What do you mean?

Stopping on a blind curve like this!

You almost got us both killed!

Oh, man... I'm sorry.

My car just died on me right here.

I can't even move it. I...

You know anything about engines?

Yeah, a little bit.

Well, I already checked her out.

I'm pretty sure it's the gasket.

Could be that dang

carburetor, though.

Think you could

take a look at her?

All right. Out of the way.

Oh, God.

Hey, what are you doing?

Be careful with that.

Uh, you got trouble, pal.

- Gasket, right?

- No, no, no, no.

It's the distributor.

The drive gear's broken.

This car's going nowhere.

Oh, sh*t!

Oh, sh*t!

Sh*t, sh*t!

Hey, uh, what are we gonna do?

What are we going to do?

You're not gonna just

leave me out here, are you?

I'll drive you to a service station,

all right?

Wh-what about the car?

You'll just have to leave it.

No. I gotta get her home.

And how do you propose to do that?

I got a chain in my trunk.

There you go, man.

Slap that on her.

Better lock it. Could pop off.

I assume you've got the key.

Sh*t! Sh*t, Sh*t!

Goddamn it!

What did you tell me to lock it for?

Of course I got a key, man!

Ha ha ha!

What do you f***ing think?

Hey, come on.

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