Boys and Girls Page #5

I'm a laser. I know what I|want and I go straight for it.

I feel like there's an armature|spinning in my head.

-You wanna sit down?|-Sure.

Actually, I was just leaving.

-It's because I'm too forward?|-No. Not at all.

There's just these two assignments|that I've been putting off.

I told my girlfriend that I would|meet her twenty minutes ago.

-You have a girlfriend?|-Yes, I do.

-Now I feel really so stupid.|-You're not. I really have to go.

Hey, sis!

-You okay?|-Yeah, I'm great. Thanks, Billy.

So I'm gonna take off, then.

-Okay.|-See you, bro.

-So, how did you get rid of him?|-We fooled around for a while.

-Then I said I had an early class.|-Wait. You fooled around?

Hold on. When we're talking|about fooling around...

are we talking about|fooling around or...?

We're talking about...|fooling around.

-It's not like we had sex.|-I didn't say that.

-Couldn't find a condom.|-You would have?!

Yeah. Probably.

I have midterms coming up.|I gotta relieve the stress somehow.

-That's amazing!|-What?

That on any given date the possibility|exists that you'll have sex with a guy.

Isn't that the point of dating?|Possibilities?

It's not like I know what's gonna|happen in advance. I don't.

Sometimes it 'd be a whole lot easier|to have sex than have to sit there...

...and think of something clever to say.|-Okay, granted.

I haven't been in that situation|in a long time...

but I just can't sleep with|somebody unless I like them.

-So you think I'm a slut?|-I didn't say that!

-We're just different.|-Yeah, you sleep with no one.

-So?|-"So"?

Do you know any other single|2O-year-old college guys...

who never sleep with anyone?|Who don't even try?

-Maybe you're trying too hard.|-Ryan, you don't try at all.

I just think that it might be|making things weird between us.

What are you talking about?

Are we friends?|I mean, am I your friend...

or have I just become|your girlfriend substitute?

-Are you serious?|-Yeah.

It's like, with me in your life,|you never have to try.

It's the beauty of our relationship.|You'll just never get hurt again...

as long as you pretend|I'm your girlfriend.

Yeah.

Maybe we shouldn't|hang out anymore.

Ryan!

I'm so sorry.|I didn't mean that.

-Yeah, you did.|-No!

I love hanging out with you. You're|my favorite person in the world.

-I don't wanna change anything.|-Maybe you're right.

No, I'm wrong! You're just waiting|for the right girl to come along...

and you don't take sex lightly.|I think that that's a great quality.

No, I think I am hiding|behind you or us.

-There was this girl at the party...|-A girl girl? You didn't tell me.

-I just blew her off!|-Why?

I don't know.

-I should have given her a chance.|-Yeah. You should have.

Well, you still can.|And why not, right?

Yeah. Why not?

-So, is she cute?|-Yeah, I guess.

-Is she cuter than me?|-No!

She's thinner.

Let me get this straight.|You think that's totally normal?

Yes!

I have the exact same top.|How come it looks better on her?

Because she's anorexic, has fake|b*obs and a personal trainer.

Are you saying I should|get my b*obs done?

-Yeah, totally.|-Okay. Come on!

-You can't say this ain't fun!|-No, can't l?

When's the last time we did this?|Just you and me. It's nice.

-Amy, of course it's nice.|-I have an idea.

What if you had to, you know, fail|a couple of classes and move back?

Would that be so bad?

I mean, it's just that Italy's|so incredibly far away!

Yeah, that's the beauty of it.

What about me? What am I|supposed to do next year?

Nothing.|Just like you did this year.

Maybe with me gone, you'll get off|your fat ass and have some fun.

I don't wanna do nothing without|you. And I don't wanna have fun.

-And I have a great ass.|-You do. No, you have a great ass.

-What are you doing?|-I'm kissing you.

God. I'm so sorry.|I'm sorry.

I don't know why I did that.|I just really wanted to kiss you.

-My God! I'm such an idiot!|-Amy? Amy, it's...

Hey, buddy, watch this.

It's like a bridge.

It is a bridge.

Yeah, you're absolutely right.

-Is Katie coming?|-She's gonna meet us at the bar.

Really? This is great.|This is great!

-She'll experience the new me.|-This ought to be good.

No, I'm serious. No more lies.|It's like you said, buddy.

I don't need to pretend|for someone else to like me.

-That's good!|-What you see is what you get.

Hunter unplugged.

Don't you mean|Steve unplugged?

-So Megan seems nice?|-Yeah, she is.

That Paul guy... didn't you go out|with him a couple times before?

-Yeah. It's working out.|-Good for you.

Jen, Megan here has never been|to the automotive museum.

Imagine that.

Did you read how the zoo animals|tried to reorganize their cages...

in alphabetical order? Apparently|the aardvarks started it.

That's right.|But the zebras vetoed it.

-Yeah. How did you know?|-I don't know.

-I don't get it.|-Me neither.

So, Katie, how are|you liking Berkeley?

-It's a bit overwhelming, you know?|-Katie's a double major here.

-I don't know how she does it.|-How do you do it?

I can barely juggle|napping and sleeping.

This may sound weird, but I spend|a lot of time with the elderly.

-That doesn't sound weird.|-It sounds a little weird.

When you're sitting with someone|who's been through two wars...

marriages, kids, grandkids,|money problems and disease...

getting a B on a Biology exam|just doesn't seem like a big deal.

I think we should do|what the Eskimos do:

kick the old people out of the igloos,|leave them for polar bears and storms.

The minute they can't go on the|big hunt, you gotta get rid of them.

I mean, otherwise they'll|just suck us dry. Bastards.

-You're kidding, right?|-No, not at all.

And take away their driver's|license too while you're at it.

What?

So you're not allowed to have an|opinion anymore? I did what you said!

I wasn't just agreeing for|the sake of it, I wasn't just...

making things up so it would look|like we had something in common.

I did what you said.|I was being honest.

Yeah, but you don't have to say|everything that comes in your head!

So now I'm being too honest?|I don't know what you want from me.

I don't know what|anyone wants from me.

So, what happened?

The whole beauty of Paul is that|he was never going to settle down.

Then he fell in love with me. Nothing|worse than a bad boy gone soft.

-Don't I know it?|-He stopped drinking, taking drugs.

-He even stopped cheating on me.|-No wonder you dumped him.

It just wasn't working out,|you know?

-What's up with what's her name?|-Megan.

-Whatever.|-It's okay.

-That's it?|-What am I supposed to say?

Well, do you like her?|Is she the one?

I don't know.|I'm working on it.

-You're the one who wanted to go.|-I thought I would feel better.

-And?|-I don't know.

-It's such a lot of bullshit!|-Bullshit?

Show me a movie that takes place|6 months after they get together...

...when everything falls apart.|-Jennifer...

It's just that I don't think that|any of us know who we really are.

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