Boyz n the Hood Page #4

I say, "Can you drive stick?"

She says, "I can learn

if you teach me. "

I go into my mack-daddy mode because

I'm getting a woody in my sweats.

I says, "Why don't you give me your

number, I'll call you for a lesson. "

She does.

About a week later,

I'm over at her house.

Her mom and grandma

are leaving for church.

I walk right up to the door, man.

As soon as I go inside, boom!

We go at it, nonstop.

Kissing, hugging, right?

So I pick her up, take her upstairs.

Well, about 20 minutes into it,

Mom and Grandma's come home.

Seems Grandma forgot her purse.

Wanted to make sure she has something

to put in the collection plate.

Yeah, I guess she could smell the sex

in the air or something, right?

She starts straight

towards Tisha's room.

That's the last I ever saw of Tisha.

I call her once in a while...

...but when I do, her mom or grandma

say, "She can't talk right now.

She busy, doing the dishes. "

- What'd you use?

- I used the number she gave me.

Why are you sweating me?

I had to use nothing.

She said she was on the pill.

How many times I tell you?

If a girl's on the pill...

...you use something anyway.

A pill ain't gonna keep

your dick from falling off.

I don't know why you insist on

learning things the hard way...

...but you gonna learn.

Oh, yeah, you gonna learn!

Clean up that hair.

What's up, man?

- What the f*** is wrong with you?!

- What?

You slamming my door like

some gorilla on a football field!

- Damn, nigga, what's wrong with you?

- Nothing.

Guess what, man?

- Recruiter from SC's coming tonight.

- Cool.

You know, man,

I never lied to my father.

Never?

Well, almost never.

Where's all this coming from?

I lied to Pops yesterday.

Told him I weren't no virgin.

Well, you ain't a virgin, is you?

Is you?

Well, technically speaking,

I haven't.

You know, I fingered

a couple of honeys...

...and sucked on some titties,

but I ain't never stuck it in.

Why not, man?

- You really want to know?

- Yeah, I asked you, didn't I?

I was afraid.

- Sh*t!

- Get off me.

- See, man? Shut up. Shut up.

- What you doing, man?

What you afraid of, man?

Of being a daddy.

Oh. Well, yeah.

But I'm getting old now, see?

And now that I want to slap some skins,

Brandi ain't even down for it.

- Even with a jimmy she ain't down.

- Is that right?

- I don't see that.

- Why the silent treatment?

You haven't talked to me in five days!

You tell your father to say

you're not home.

- Then you take the phone off the hook!

- Well, I been busy.

Oh, well, don't give me no bald-ass

excuse for a lie like that!

What did I do that was so bad that

you just had to stop talking to me?

See, you know what you did.

See, you gotta get with the program.

I told you about that. I'm Catholic,

and it goes against my morals.

Yeah, but Catholic girls are supposed

to be one of the biggest hootchies.

- When you bust a cap on somebody?

- I bust a cap like, blam-blam.

Damn! God!

Come on, f*** him up, man!

F*** him up!

You say you want to wait till

you get married first, right?

No, look at me. Right?

Yeah.

And I say that I'm gonna be

the one who marries you.

So it don't make no difference

when we do it...

...we still gonna get married, right?

Yeah, but I'm going

to college before I marry...

...and there ain't no guarantee

that I'm gonna marry you!

Bad sh*t!

Hey, hey, yo. Yo, bonita.

Damn, look at that ass.

Chica bonita. You come to my casa

and let's do the loco thing.

Hey, Dooky, this fool trying

to speak Spanish...

- That sh*t worked.

- What up, baby?

So let me knock the stuffing

off that Egg McMuffin.

You got a phone number?

- You haven't even given me a ring!

- I ain't ready for all that yet!

But you're ready to act

like we are, though?

- What your man say?

- Don't touch me.

All right.

- You make me sick, man.

- I know, but I missed you.

I missed you too.

I missed you too.

He still ain't f***ed her yet.

You better take your ass

to the store with that.

So you gonna give me

the skins or what?

No, that's not all I think about.

Yeah.

- Okay. Pop!

- Yo!

Brandi's mom say you're cute!

Ask her how come she don't say hi

when I speak to her.

He say, "How come she don't say hi

when he speak to her?"

Yeah.

Hey, I'm supposed to be talking

to you, not passing messages.

If my daddy mess with your mama,

we gonna be brother and sister.

Then we have to do that incest thing.

What?

No, no, I'm just kidding.

Wait, hang on, I got another call.

Who this?

Oh, hi, Mama.

Yeah. Hang on, I got Brandi

on the other line, okay?

So you gonna give me

the skins or what?

Tre, this is your mother.

I'm sorry, Mama.

Hang on for one second. Okay.

Brandi?

Yeah, I'm gonna call you back.

Okay.

Hi, Mama.

"Who this"?

What kind of way is that

to answer the phone?

I'm sorry, Mama.

- Why didn't you come by this weekend?

- I was cooling with Rick.

You can cool with

your friends anytime.

The weekends are supposed

to be our time together.

Have you thought about

what we talked about?

Yeah.

And?

I don't know yet.

Let me speak to your daddy.

Pop!

Telephone!

Who this?

Hey, how you doing?

Yeah.

Yeah, we talked about that.

Yeah, well, look...

I know you don't agree with me,

but I think it's his decision.

Look, I don't...

No, I don't think that's necessary.

Look, Reva.

Reva, this is bullshit.

I'm sorry,

but I think it's ridiculous.

There's no reason for him

to come live with you now.

He's not a baby!

No, no, wait a minute.

Why you got an attitude?

I don't have an attitude.

You have an attitude!

We have gone through this a thousand

times. I always tell him...

...use a rubber!

You know, use a rubber...

Watch me shoot this motherf***er.

Look.

Yeah.

- Taken off the motherfucking set.

- Hey, yo, Monster, man.

Don't be cussing so motherfucking

loud. My moms don't like that sh*t.

Come on, man, move the plastic.

You're sitting on the good part.

Damn!

Darin?

See, now I gotta hear this sh*t.

Darin!

- What?

- Get them drive-by shooters out of...

Damn! Moms be f***ing

with his ass without fail.

She ain't like that with Rick, though.

Because they got different daddies.

Y'all got to get the f*** out.

My brother got company in a minute.

- See that? I didn't get my turn.

- It's Monster's fault.

Come on, man. Fix that sh*t, man.

What up, man?

What up, dude?

Who that?

Anybody know where Ricky Baker lives?

That's my brother! He live here.

Hey, yo, Rick!

The man here to see you!

Stop.

Stop. Hold still. Be still.

There, I got it.

Yo, Rick!

Get your ass out of there.

Ricky, come on out of

the bathroom, baby.

Check this out.

Here come the reverend.

So what college you from?

I'm from USC.

You got to have a scholarship

to go to SC?

No, but it helps.

Can you hook me up with a scholarship?

- What do you do?

- I used to play baseball.

Shut up, man.

Don't you know

the man's about business?

Move, nigga. Move, punk.

Move.

Y'all be the f*** quiet.

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