Brave Page #2

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I swear, Angus, this isn't going to happen!

Not if I have any say in it.

MacGuffin!

Dingwall!

Macintosh!

You look absolutely beautiful!

I can't breathe!

Oh, shush. Give us a turn.

I can't move. It's too tight!

It's perfect!

Merida...

Mom?

Just...

...remeber to smile.

Oy, they're coming!

Places everyone! Places!

I look fine, woman. Leave me be!

???

Oy!

So, here we are. The four clans.

Gathering.

For...

...the presentations of the suitors.

Clan Macintosh.

Your Majesty, I present my heir and sire who defended our land

from the Northern invaders and with his own sword stabbed bloody, vanquished a thousand foes!

Clan MacGuffin.

Good Majesty. I present my eldest son.

Who scuttled Viking longships and with his bare hands vanquished two thousand foes.

Clan Dingwall.

I present my only son who was besieged by ten thousand Romans,

and he took out a whole armada singlehandedly.

With one arm, he was...

With one arm, he was steering the ship

and with the other, he held his mighty sword and struck down a whole attacking fleet.

Lies!

What?

I heard that! Come on, say it to my face!

Or are you scared simpering jackanapes, 'fraid to muss your pretty hair?

At least we have hair!

And all our teeth!

(thick accent) If he was a wee bit closer, I could lob a caber at him, ye ken.

And we don't hide under bridges, you grumpy old troll!

You want a laugh, eh? Wee Dingwall!

At him, at him! That's the way to...

All right.

Shut it!

Now, that's all done.

You've had your go at each other, show a little decorum!

And no more fighting!

I didn't start it was he...

Mylady Queen, I feel terrible, my humblest apologies.

Sorry....We meant no disrespect.

Sorry, love, I didn't, but...Yes, dear.

Now, where were we.

Ah, yes. In accordance with our laws, by the rights of our heritage

only the firstborn of each of the great leaders may be presented as champion.

Firstborn?

And thus compete for the hand of the princess of DunBroch.

To win the fair maiden, they must prove their worth by feats of strength or arms in the games.

It is customary that the challenge be determined by the princess herself.

Archery, archery!

I choose...archery.

Let the games begin!

Pull!

I have told you, you're not allowed...

It's time!

Archers, to your marks!

Aye, archers to your marks!

And may the lucky arrow find its target.

Oy, get on with it!

I bet he wishes he was tossing cabers.

Or holding up bridges.

Noooo!

At least you hit the target, son!

Oh, that's attractive.

I've got it!

Good arm.

And such lovely flowing locks!

Fergus!

What?

Oh, wee lamb!

Oh, come on, shoot, boy!

Well done!

Feast your eyes!

That's my boy!

Well, that's just grand now, isn't it?

Guess who's coming to dinner.

Fergus!

By the way, hope you don't mind being called lade Ding...

I am Merida, firstborn descendant of clan DunBroch.

And I'll be shooting for my own hand!

What are you doing?

Merida!

Curse this dress!

Merida! Stop this!

Don't you dare loose another arrow!

Merida! I forbid it!

Michty me.

I've just about had enough of you, lass.

- You're the one that wants me to...

- You've embarrassed them.

- You've embarrassed me.

- I followed the rules!

You don't know what you've done!

I don't care...

There'll be fire and swords if it's not set right.

- Just listen!

- I am the Queen!

You listen to me!

Oh! This is so unfair!

Unfair?

You're never there for me.

This whole marriage is what you want!

Do you ever bother

to ask what I want? No!

You walk around telling me what to do,

what not to do,

trying to make me feel like you.

Well, I'm not going to be like you!

Oh, you're acting like a child.

And you're a beast! That's what you are!

Merida!

- I'll never be like you!

- No, stop that!

I'd rather die than be like you!

Merida, you are a princess,

- and I expect you to act like one!

- Mum!

Oh!

Merida!

Merida!

Oh, dear.

Oh, no. What have I done?

Oh.

Angus!

Come on, Angus!

Angus!

Why would the wisps lead me here?

Oh, look around. You holler if you see anything you like.

Everything is half off.

Who are you?

Just a humble woodcarver.

I don't understand.

See anything you like?

Perhaps a touch of whimsy to brighten any dank chamber.

But, the will-o'-the-wisps! They lead...

Oh, this is one of a kind! I'll make you a deal for this rare prize.

Your broom!

It was sweeping by itself!

That's ridiculous.

Wood cannae be imbued with magical properties.

I should know, I'm a wi...whittler!

Of wood.

How about this conversation starter?

It's made of yew wood.

Half a stone.

Oh, ah ah, that's daft.

Staring is rude!

The crow... crow's talking!

That's not all I can do. La la la la.

You're a witch!

Woodcarver!

That's why the wisps led me here!

Woodcarver!

You'll change my fate!

WOODCARVER!

You see, it's my mother...

I'm not a witch! Too many unsatisfied customers.

If you're not going to buy anything, get out!

No, the wisps led me here!

I don't care!

Get out! Shoo! Get! Begone with you!

I'll buy it all!

What, what was that?

Every carving.

And how are you going to pay for that, sweetie?

With this.

Oh my, that's lovely, that is.

That will set us up for months!

Every carving and one spell.

Are you sure you know what you're doing?

I want a spell to change my mom.

That'll change my fate.

Done!

Where are you going?

There.

What're you doing?

You never conjure where you carve, very important.

Last time I did this was for a prince.

Easy on the eyes.

He demanded I give him the strength of ten men.

And he gave me this for a spell.

A spell that would change his fate.

And did he get what he was after?

Ohoho, yes. I made off with an especially atractive mahogany cheeseboard.

Now, what do I need?

That'll do.

And, now, let's see.

What have we here?

A cake?

You don't want it?

Yes, I want it!

You're sure, if I give this to my mom, it will change my fate?

Ohh, trust me.

It'll do the trick, dearie.

Expect delivery of your purchase within a fortnight.

What was that thing about the spell?

Did you say something...about...the...spell?

Merida!

Mom!

Oh...eh...I...eh...

Oh, I've been worried sick!

You, you were?

I didn't know where you've gone or when you'd come back!

I didn't know what to think! Oh, look at your dress!

Angus threw me.

But I'm not hurt!

Well, you're home now.

So that's the end of it.

Honestly?

I've pacified the lords for now.

Your father's out there "entertaining" them.

Come taste my blade you manky bear for gobbling up my leg!

I'll hunt you, then I'll skin you, hang your noggin on a peg!

Of course, we both know a decision still has to be made.

What's this?

It's a peace offering. I made it. For you. Special.

You made this for me?

Interesting flavour.

How do you feel?

What is that?

Different?

Tart and gamey...

Have you changed your mind at all about the marriage and all that?

Oh, better.

Now, why don't we go upstairs to the lords and put this whole kerfuffle to rest, hm?

Mother?

I'm woozy suddenly. Oh, my head's spinning like a top!

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