Bride for Rent Page #2

Flowers for you...

What did you say to my wife?

And your garden.

For you.

I can also do interpretative dance.

This is it.

Marnique, your super demure ex-girlfriend.

The one who can't even hurt a fly.

I have bras here, too.

Oh, sister, this is perfect for you.

This push-up bra.

Push those up

so that when the panel of judges look at you...

they'll see your b*obs.

Next!

My name is...

Racquelita Dela Cruz, a. k. a. Rocky.

Marnique!

Rocco!

Psycho.

My children! My children!

Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!

Mommy, is that daddy?

Oh, crap! No way!

For you!

Here, water it!

Let's go! Hurry upl!

Where are they?

My children!

My children! Buy some bras.

Remember Kookai?

The prom queen girl in the night.

Look, she's so obedient in this picture.

Here. Choose.

There are other colors.

Is Kookai home?

Mmm! Yummy!

Rocco?

It's me, Kookai.

I'm Cocoy now.

That's my tomboy.

I can swim.

Swim, and bike.

Triathlon.

And I can build a house.

Carpenter.

I have candy for you.

Thank you. Bye bye!

I'm sorry, dude.

I just realized how horrible

your past relationships are.

You were such a crappy boyfriend.

Out of all the women

you've been with...

not even one wants to marry you.

They should feel lucky

they had me as their boyfriend.

So what now?

What are we going to do

about the debt?

What do we do about our deliverables

to our clients?

How are we going to get

ten million pesos now?

Oh my goodness!

I'm so smart!

Guys, guys, guys!

Listen to me.

The answer is here in our front.

Okay?

Look.

You know, I can't go to my Lala

about this.

I know, I know.

You're a foolish guy.

Okay?

Good evening, everyone!

Thank you very much for this award!

This opportunity is my first time!

Hahahaha!

This is heavy, huh?

Thank you to all of you.

Thank you,

for attending the Awkward Awards.

Thank you.

Dude...

you need to find a girl...

who will pretend

to be married to you.

Someone who can act!

Like your grandma!

Best actress!

So that when you're done pretending...

there'll be no strings attached.

Will that work?

Come on, guys!

We're in this business

of make-believe.

We have done loads of commercials.

Guys, listen to me very carefully, okay?

This is positive thinking, okay?

We need to hold auditions

at once.

Okay?

I'm so brilliant!

Hey, Rona, go home!

Aunt Une will get mad.

Jinky, the bra you ordered is here.

I'll give it to you later.

Bro, you're drinking again!

Hi, Papsi!

- Hi, Rocky.

Here.

I was able to get some money today.

Add it to your earnings.

- Thank you.

Hi, Ging!

Have you eaten?

I'll eat later.

OkaV-

Excuse me.

- Sorry.

Hello?

Hey, Rocky. I got a call.

An auditon for tomorrow.

Oh, I can't.

I got this thing

in San Mateo tomorrow.

I'll be out the whole day.

You won't want to miss this.

Rocco Espiritu's prod house...

is having a casting call.

It might be for a commercial.

Ho... Rocco?

The chinky-eyed,

ill-tempered hot guy...

that could melt your heart

with his smile?

That Rocco?

The one and only!

Ah! It's him! It's him!

I can die now!

Okay, I'll be there.

I can die tomorrow. Tell me...

the place, the right address.

What time do I have to be there?

I need to be there early.

I need to get this part.

Wait, wait.

Okay, thank you so much!

You made my day.

Thank you.

Oh! What should I wear?

Oh, wow!

Come on!

BFF, it's my time to shine!

Hurry.

There are so many people.

This audition

is quite blockbuster.

Let's just go.

We're never gonna get the part like this.

- No! Remember, "Don't Give Up On Us, Baby".

We've been through so many audtions.

Why quit now?

Well, you are prettier than that girl.

This is a major role.

A big one.

Girls, can I have your attention, please?

We will start the audition in a while

so we'll just call you one by one later.

Okay?

There he is! There he is!

You really like him, huh?

Yeah.

We should sign up now. Come on.

- Oh yeah.

Hi, Ms. Beautiful.

Say your name

and age at the camera.

There.

Catherine Vinzon.

Eighteen.

Donna Jiu.

Twenty-one years old.

What's your talent?

Sexy dancing.

Nicole Ostavo!

Favorite movie?

No Other Woman.

Favorite actress?

Angel Locsin.

My main passion in life

would be acting.

Kathryn Mabalay!

Vertical dance.

Side by side.

Another side.

To the front. To the front.

Can you "P?

You mean up?

Up. UP-

But you betrayed me!

Kim Panganiban!

He's so handsome.

But he doesn't even notice me.

Hey, baby!

Welcome to the club!

My name is Aurelio Magalpoc.

I live in Sampaloc, Manila.

Okay. Thank you.

Oh! Here we go

- Next, Racquelita dela Cruz!

Let's finish this.

- Lord Jesus, I offer this to you...

Dude, close the door.

Please.

Hurry! Hurry! Go in! Hurry!

- Okay! Here I go!

Closed?

They can't even do

what we're asking them to do.

Where did you even get

these people'?

Do we even have class A's?

Somebody who matches up to me'?

Huh'?

Nothin' yet.

See?

There's no one!

Let's pack this up!

They're fighting.

- Come on!

What?

- Let's just give it a W.

There are more girls outside.

I'm tired. I'm going.

Better go home now. it's over. It's over.

- I'm sick of this.

Hey!

- Ah!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Get up, now! Go!

Up, come on! Up!

- Ouch!

Your armpits are wet!

That's normal.

I've been waiting here a longtime.

But it's okay.

Miss, are you gonna audition

or are you gonna audition?

Yes, yes. I will audition.

I will audition.

Racquelita Dela Cruz,

a. k. a. Rocky.

Single?

Yes, since birth.

Girl or boy?

How offensive. Girl!

Next question, please.

I can sing, I can dance, um...

but impersonation

is what I do best.

Act a happy person.

HaPPY-

HaPPY-

'Yes!

'Slog

Ah, different kind of animals.

Ah, act like a dog.

Mmmark! Mark!

Mark!

Why "Mark"?

"Mark" because the dog I'm portraying

has a speech defect.

You make me laugh.

Why should we choose you

for this role?

Because I have dignity...

and word of honor.

I am a woman of pride,

commitment, and integrity.

Thank you.

What's my role?

My wife.

Aaah!

I do! I do! I do!

WOW!

Come on.

Once I introduce you to Lala,

she'll know we got married.

You'll say you're going to migrate

to work abroad.

Then we will eventually break up...

because we could not handle

a long distance relationship.

Clear?

Oh, okay. Wait.

Okay. Let's go.

Okay. I'm ready. Let's go.

Come on. Hurry.

Hey, wrap your arms around me.

Sweetness, you know.

Like a real couple.

Come on.

- Ah.

With some tender loving care.

Okay, fine.

- Ouch.

Lala!

Stay there, I will call Lala.

It's like a castle.

Wait...

I've seen her before.

What?

Rocky...

Aaaaah! I!

Holy sh...! Holy mother of...!

You should have told me...

your grandmother

is Avelina Corazon.

My mom was a big fan of yours

when she was still alive.

Can I get a hug and a kiss?

You smell so good.

You look like you haven't aged at all.

Stunning!

Oh my gosh, mommy!

Your idol is here!

Hunny Bunny, relax.

Oh, I forgot.

Hello...

- Hello!

I am so sorry, grandmother.

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