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Bridegroom Page #9
to a person's memory.
They're not fighting against
gay marriage.
They're not fighting against
having a gay son.
What they're fighting against
is love,
- When we came back, we decided
To have our own memorial
to celebrate who tom was.
- # today, you left me
- Shane included
pictures of his family
Even though
they hadn't reciprocated.
With tom's mom and dad
and brother and sister.
He brought people from vassar,
brought people from culver,
And his friends in california.
Everybody was there.
even though a lot of us,
Maybe we weren't super close
and barely know each other,
Somehow that same guy
was all of our best friend.
- # young, beautiful boy
I wrote "beautiful boy"
And the line about tom making
his way up to the golden doors
As an answer
To the fundamentalist christians
out there
Who may believe that gay people
won't go to heaven.
And to that,
I would say, "really?
"tom, the choir-singing,
trophy-winning, all-american boy
"who listed god as his hero
on his myspace page,
Really in hell?"
I don't think so.
If tom didn't go to heaven,
then nobody's going to heaven.
# remembering...
- If you believe in angels,
Tom was as close to that as
would ever come in a human form.
He had no darkness in him
whatsoever.
He was the ueber-positive one.
- So, everybody
was really nervous
You know, post this horrible,
traumatic loss.
- I stayed with shane after tom
passed away for a month.
I told shane, "I'll stay here
as long as you need me,"
But getting on that plane
Was the hardest thing
I've ever done in my life.
You know,
you don't want to leave him,
'cause he was fragile.
- # something always
brings me back to you #
- Hey, tom.
Um...
- # no matter what I say or do
- ... Is this happening?
- # I'll still feel you here...
is this really happening?
say that gay people are...
# here I am
...Unable to love,
Can I ask
every single husband and wife...
- #... 'cause I'm fragile
- ... That is in love...
- # when I thought
that I was strong #
- ... To just...
...To just feel
what I'm feeling,
Even... even for 10 minutes.
And, um
But, really, I...
I don't wish this upon anybody.
I don't.
I finally bought you your ring.
- # I will be rising from
the ground like a skyscraper #
- I'm sorry that I didn't...
- # like a skyscraper
- ... I didn't get you one sooner.
I put "tap, tap, tap" inside.
Um...
- # skies are crying
# you can take everything
I have #
# you can break
everything I am #
- One thing
that I'm thinking about
Is, like, well, you know,
What would have
our relationship been like
If we wouldn't have had to have
hid it from the beginning,
And would I have been able
to just
Be more affectionate
and just give you more love?
If who we are
And how we, you know,
loved each other is a sin
In that we have to live,
You know, eternity
suffering because of this,
I don't think god
would purposely
Set us up to live a life
Of just constantly fighting
the urge to be who we are,
And I really don't want
to believe that.
- You know,
there's a part of me that thinks
Maybe I should I tell someone
or maybe I should show someone,
You know, how I'm really feeling
Instead of just telling everyone
I'm okay.
And I'm not okay.
- It's sad that it took
losing you
To see what's really important
in life.
All that really counts
is just loving as much as we can
And not, you know,
being afraid to be loved.
before,
I was not eating enough,
And then now all I want to do
is eat everything...
Fat stuff, ice cream,
pancakes... Red vines.
Today I'm going on a plane
to see the taj mahal,
which was next on our list.
- # presents are covered
- Going to the taj mahal
on christmas, christmas day
Is a pretty cool thing, so...
Merry christmas.
- # togetherness lives
- I just wish
that all of us humans understood
That we're all the same.
Everyone in the world,
all different types of people,
All different religions.
We all just want to be happy.
We all just want to be loved.
So, thank you, tom.
Thank you for loving me.
Thank you for giving me
the last years of your life.
I feel like
that's my responsibility,
Like, my duty now,
to live life like you did.
a few months later,
I went back to indiana.
I felt like I just needed
To see tom's grave
one more time.
I still can't believe
How much has happened
since that first christmas.
When we were each getting
on a plane, heading home,
And we finally told each other
how we felt.
When I got to the cemetery,
I was surprised to see
That tom's parents
had bought him a monument
With a place for themselves,
not next to each other,
But on either side of their son,
As though they're still trying
To keep him from something
or someone.
It's just...
it's hard to believe
That even now
The promise of his own name.
It really does feel like
He's standing in
for all of us now.
I mean, like, for all gay people
some day.
Why the ones who are supposed
to love him the most
Fight the hardest to keep him
from being who he was.
Maybe the greatest thing
about tom
Is how much
he loved them anyway.
I just remember standing there
and thinking
That if there's one thing
that I could say to his parents,
Here's what it would be...
"this is not
the monument to your son.
He was the monument to you. "
[ macklemore with ryan lewis,
featuring mary lambert's
"same love" plays ]
- # when I was
# I thought that I was gay
# 'cause I could draw,
my uncle was #
# and I kept my room straight
# I told my mom,
tears rushing down my face #
# she's like "ben, you've loved
# trippin'
# yeah, I guess she had a point,
didn't she? #
# bunch of stereotypes
all in my head #
# I remember
doing the math like #
# "yeah,
I'm good at little league" #
# a preconceived idea
of what it all meant #
# for those that liked
the same sex #
# had the characteristics
# the right-wing conservatives
think it's a decision #
# and you can be cured with some
treatment and religion #
# man-made rewiring
of a predisposition #
# playing god
# aw, naw, here we go
# america the brave still fears
what we don't know #
# and god loves all his children
# but we paraphrase a book
written 3,500 years ago #
# I don't know
- # and I can't change
# even if I tried
# even if I wanted to
# and I can't change
# even if I tried
# even if I wanted to
# my love, my love, my love
# she keeps me warm
# she keeps me warm
# she keeps me warm
# she keeps me warm
# if I was gay
# I would think
hip-hop hates me #
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"Bridegroom" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/bridegroom_4677>.
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