Brideshead Revisited

If you asked me now who I am,

the only answer I could give

with any certainty

would be my name, Charles Ryder.

For the rest, my loves, my hates,

down even to my deepest desires,

I can no longer say whether

these emotions are my own

or stolen from those

I once so desperately wished to be.

On second thoughts,

one emotion remains my own,

alone among the borrowed

and the second-hand,

as pure as that faith

from which I am still in flight.

Guilt.

Been away, sir? Anywhere interesting?

-JungIe.

-JungIe.

ExpIorer, are we?

-Painter.

-Painter?

So, bye-bye beardy, heIIo smooth.

Famous for his impressive

architecturaI portraits,

British artist CharIes Ryder

has taken New York by storm

with a series of gripping jungIe studies.

To own a Ryder is currentIy the dream

of every seIf-respecting

East Coast miIIionaire.

(CHUCKLES )

You must be so proud of him.

-Was he away Iong?

-Two years,

-and it doesn't feeI Iike a day.

-You must feeI positiveIy bridaI.

to save my Iife.

Thank you.

I can't even hoId a buggering brush!

But I know what I Iike. Lots of coIor.

Nice and bright.

I see the jungIe in your work

as a metaphor.

Not Ieast, the metaphysicaI sembIance

of the chaos at the heart of civiIization.

CELIA:
Make an effort, CharIes.

You're not in South America now.

You're amongst civiIized peopIe.

(SIGHS )

-Mr. Ryder, I wonder if I couId...

-I'm so sorry. Excuse me.

-Excuse me. Thank you very much.

-...just have a conversation...

(DOOR OPENING )

(SINGING UPBEAT SONG )

HeIIo, CharIes.

-You're wearing a coat!

-Yes, Father, I am.

Why?

-I'm going up to Oxford.

-Ah. Yes.

-Remind me. What are you taking?

-History.

-And what aIIowance have I given you?

-A hundred pounds.

How very induIgent of me.

Mind you, it aII comes out of capitaI.

Oh, I suppose this is the time

I shouId give you advice.

Your mother was aIways

so good at that.

Who's meeting you?

Cousin Jasper offered

to show me around.

Cousin Jasper!

(CHUCKLES )

Most entertaining.

STUDENT:
Out of the way,

you siIIy fooI.

JASPER:
There you are, CharIes.

This way, pIease.

Come aIong. As an onIy chiId,

you wiII, of course, have much to Iearn.

Though I am onIy your cousin, CharIes,

you must Iook upon me as a brother.

OIder, wiser,

but a brother nevertheIess.

Now, it is no secret that our famiIies

are not rich in materiaI weaIth.

Keep off the grass.

But I Iike to think that we Ryders are,

aII of us, rich in the striving of minds.

Now, then... Not that way.

CIothes. Dress as you do

in a country house.

Never wear a tweed coat

and a fIanneI trousers, aIways a suit.

And go to a London taiIor.

You'II get a better cut.

ProtocoI. First and foremost,

behaving with restraint...

Nine aduIteries, 1 2 Iiaisons,

and something approaching a rape

rest nightIy upon the souI

of our deIicate friend FIoriaIis,

and yet the man is so

quiet and reserved in demeanor

that he passes

for both bIoodIess and sexIess.

(ALL EX CLAIM)

Sodomites, aII of them. Steer weII cIear.

JASPER:
Treat aII dons

as you wouId the IocaI vicar.

With indifference.

Oh, dear, oh, dear. This won't do at aII.

You must change your rooms.

I've seen many a man ruined

through having ground fIoor rooms

in the front quad.

PeopIe start dropping in.

They Ieave their gowns here

and come and coIIect them before haII.

You start giving them sherry

and before you know it they're...

(SHOUTING )

BLANCHE:
Sebastian, come aIong.

Look at the state of him.

Come on, you're nearIy cIean.

(JASPER MUMBLING )

Oh, no, no, no, sir, stop.

You don't cIear up after yourseIf.

That's my job.

Sorry, Lunt. What's aII this?

From the gentIeman Iast night, sir.

He just caIIed. Left a note for you.

''I am very contrite.

''PIease come to Iuncheon today.

Sebastian FIyte.''

The Lord Sebastian FIyte,

don't you know?

I'm sure it's quite a pIeasure

to cIear up after him.

I take it

you'II be out to Iunch today, then, sir.

Yes, Lunt. I think I shaII be.

SEBASTIAN:
I've just counted them.

There's five each and two over,

so I'm having the two.

I'm unaccountabIy hungry today.

I put myseIf unreservedIy

in the hands of DoIbear and GoodaII

and feeI so drugged

I've begun to beIieve

the whoIe of yesterday evening

was a dream.

PIease don't wake me.

-Do try one.

-Thank you.

-What are they?

-PIover's eggs. The first this year.

Mummy sends them from Brideshead.

They aIways Iay earIy for her.

You wouId, too, if you knew my mother.

Are you terribIy angry with me

about Iast night?

No, not at aII.

Thank you for the fIowers.

AIoysius, you can't go there.

Do sit down.

-TeII me about you.

-Me?

I'm in my first year, reading history,

but reaIIy what I most want to be

is a painter.

WouId you Iike to paint me?

WeII, yes. Yes, if you Iike.

It's so cIever of you,

knowing what you want.

I've no idea what I want.

Except to be happy.

If I can.

Let's have some champagne.

A gIass each before the rowdies arrive.

BO Y MULCAS TER:

You don't want to join the Old Boys.

They're aII bIoody drugged bogs

or coIIegers.

MAN:
Top me up,

wiII you, oId man?

-I don't remember you from Eton.

-I didn't go to Eton.

Oh, reaIIy. Where then?

Harrow or Winchester?

(ALL CHUCKLING )

Rugby? Oh, not Charterhouse, I hope?

(ALL LAUGHING )

You wouIdn't have heard of it.

There are other schooIs,

you know, Boy.

Yes, I suppose there must be.

(EVERYONE LAUGHING )

-My dears.

-HeIIo, BIanche.

HeIIo, BIanche.

I couIdn't get away before.

I was Iunching

with my preposterous tutor.

I toId him I had to change for footer.

(ALL LAUGHING )

(BLANCHE MOANS )

Anthony, you remember CharIes.

From Iast night?

CharIes is reading history,

but he wants to be an artist.

-No!

-Why ever not?

-Either you are an artist or you are not.

-MAN:
Hear, hear.

-Then I am.

-Interesting.

You have about you

a distinct hint of the pragmatic.

What do you want to be an artist for?

I mean, what's the point of it?

Why don't you just

buy a bIoody camera

and take a bIoody photograph

and stop giving yourseIf airs?

-That's what I want to know!

-That's it, go it, Boy!

-I don't give myseIf airs.

-Yes, you do.

And, anyway,

you haven't answered my question.

Come on! Answer!

-Answer, answer, answer, answer...

-MAN:
Yes.

ALL:
Answer, answer, answer, answer...

Because a camera

is a mechanicaI device

which records a moment in time,

but not what that moment means

or the emotions that it evokes.

(ALL GIGGLING )

Whereas a painting,

however imperfect it may be,

is an expression of feeIing.

An expression of Iove.

Not just a copy of something.

(BLANCHE CLAPPING )

And who on earth do you think

cares about your feeIings?

SEBASTIAN:
I do.

Boy, you're an oaf. Behave yourseIf.

To art and Iove.

ALL:
To art and Iove!

We'd just arrived in his rooms, then,

without even a, ''By your Ieave,''

the Lord FIyte pokes his head

through the window and vomits.

Ground fIoor rooms, you see.

Poor CharIes may never recover.

-Morning, Jasper.

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