Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason Page #2

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- I won't dignify that with an answer...

Then you know he's shagging her.

All that I have

is all that you've given...

It's all about confidence and

trust. Mark would never betray me.

Everything will be lovely

and we'll have sex in the kitchen.

- Oh, God.

- I'm coming.

Oh, Godl What is that?

Two seconds,

I'll be straight down.

Who is that?

...I find you lied

And I can't believe it's true

Wrapped in her arms

I see you across the street

I see you across the street

And I can't help but wonder

If she knows what's going on

You talk of love

But don't know how it feels

When you realise

You're not the only one

Let's get on with it.

...oh, you better stop

- Stop

- Before

You tear me all apart

You better stop

- Stop...

- You are a very demanding man.

...you go and break my heart...

Bridget Jones.

No, I'm Bridget Jones.

- That's what I meant.

- You must be...

Rebecca Gillies. I've been

so looking forward to meeting you

- after everything Mark's told me.

- Why? What's he said?

- Where is Mark?

- Actually, er...

- Becky, who is it?

- Becky?

- Right.

- Great.

- Right...

- Bridget.

Hello, Mark.

Hello...

lawyers who work with Mark.

Good evening.

Everything under control, I see.

Um... Excellent graph.

- Lovely legs.

- Thank you.

I am so sorry.

I thought...

Oh, I don't know what I thought.

Now you're really angry with me.

- No, I'm not.

- It's OK, you can say if you are.

- It's not the end of the world.

- I'll get you a glass of wine.

The thing is I ran into Janey Osborne,

who said she'd just seen you

with this girl, with really long legs,

and Shazzer and Jude said

I should get over here straightaway.

Following the orders of the dating

war command, you executed a raid.

- You are angry.

- I'm not, just disappointed.

Disappointed?

Oh, God, that's worse than angry.

I'm just disappointed

I can't take you home this instant.

Oh.

What about all those lawyers?

Oh, plenty of time to butter them up

at the Law Council Dinner next Friday.

Don't want to go, do you?

I'd love to.

Oh, stupid Bridget, stupid friends.

Wonderful, loyal Mark Darcy...

...who loves mejust the way I am.

- What are you doing?

- Getting dressed.

Why are you dancing around in that tent?

Because I don't want you to see

any of my wobbly bits.

That's pointless, because I have

a very high regard for your wobbly bits

in all circumstances.

- Really?

- Absolutely.

I think it's high time

we had another look.

Yeah

Are you digging on me?

Yeah

I'm digging on you, now, baby

Yeah

Do you want a little bit of my love?

Yeah...

He really is very, very, very nice.

All the time I knew

That you loved me

And you promised me...

I miss you too.

That you would be my only man

Yeah

Are you digging on me?

I've never been happier

in my entire life.

However, must not obsess or fantasise.

Bridget Darcy.

Mrs Darcy.

Mr and Mrs Darcy.

Lord and Lady Darcy.

Wonder what Mark Darcy

would be like as a father.

To his children, I mean, not to me.

That would be a weird,

Cedipus-like thought.

At last, life is on track.

Bridget Jones:
Fiancee, wife...

mother.

Bugger.

Ever fancied doing it in the dark

with a total stranger?

All right, perhaps not a total stranger.

Back off, Cleaver, or I'll report you

to a sexual harassment tribunal.

I'm a serious journalist.

Is that your most serious skirt, Jones?

Oh...

Do you like it?

I thought you hated television.

I hate watching television.

Being on it is... Hello there.

...entirely different.

Daniel, thought the Madrid piece

was outstanding, really original.

Cheers, Jeremy. Appreciate that.

We had to work really hard on that one.

Tosser. Talking of which,

how is Mark Darcy?

- You still...?

- Yes, I am.

And I intend to be for a very long time.

Good. You know what a fan I am

of any woman married to Mark Darcy.

- That's not funny.

- Seriously, though, Jones,

speaking purely unselfishly,

I worry about you.

You do know that it's a fact that

most lawyer's wives die of boredom?

And what about you?

Still shagging anything that moves?

As a matter of fact, no.

No shagging whatsoever.

I'm in shag therapy.

It turns out I have a problem. I go

to meetings, talk about my feelings.

Hug people who smell.

- I don't believe you.

- I'm trying...

...to be a better man, Bridge,

so that the next time

a better woman comes along,

I won't make a pig's ear of it.

Daniel. Meeting?

Yeah, yeah. Thanks.

Very good hair, Jones.

By the way, um, you're not free

for dinner tonight, are you?

No, I'm not.

I'm going to the Law Council Dinner.

It's a very important evening.

I can't wear that.

Bridge, do you want to get married and

have babies before you become barren?

Trust me...

Magda:
My only grown-up

friend. Married to Mark's partner.

She actually got engaged

on the night of the Law Council Dinner.

Try it with the dress.

Oh, my God!

Remember, we are trying to reduce

your body size by 15 per cent.

You hold the front, I'll hold the back.

One, two, three...

What's going on in there?

Not too bad, actually.

Tra-la!

Fantastic.

Right, let us begin.

I am going to make you into a princess.

Goody.

Nothing like being

in the hands of a total genius.

Wow.

- Whatever you do...

- Bugger it.

...don't iron your hair.

It's a lot worse than I thought.

We could flatten it with Brylcreem.

What about a wig? Lawyers love wigs.

- I preferred you in the gold.

- No, whatever you do, not the gold.

Great. I'm late with mad hair and can

barely breathe in scary knickers.

La la la

La la la la la...

Oh, God. I'm very worried.

What if someone says "Bridget Jones,

get out of here, you are ridiculous"?

Stop it.

The most important thing, of course,

is to look absolutely wonderful

and make a magnificent entrance.

I just can't get you out of my head...

Hi. Sorry I'm late.

- Hello.

- I think you should go to the ladies.

But I went before I left home.

Trust me on this one.

Oh.

Not good.

All right, tiny make-up mistake,

but I always have wit and conversation

to fall back on.

Thank you.

- Bridget.

- Hello.

Derek, Horatio, Camilla.

- Horatio?

- Yes, Horatio.

Horatio was just saying

he's totally against charitable giving.

- What?

- Well, obviously you don't mean it.

Absolutely. Do you think it's helpful

to give a beggar fifty pence?

- Maybe he's just hungry.

- Don't be so naive.

The people you see outside the tube

every day are there by choice.

- End of story.

- Oh, no, it's not.

Some people

have terrible personal problems,

and other people might have lost their

family in some tragic ferry disaster.

And some people are just plain hopeless.

Honestly, this is the sort of rubbish

you'd expect from fat, balding

Tory, Home Counties,

upper-middle-class twits.

Yeah, very good.

Tested my resolve.

How did I do?

You seem to have made

quite an impression.

I've put you next to Giles Benwick.

- Oh, I'm not sitting next to you?

- No. He's terribly nice,

but his wife's just run off

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