Bring It On Page #5

- Shouldn't take long to wash.

- Don't even worry about it.

I got all afternoon.

I'll bet you do.

Where the hell

is this guy ?

Listen, we're lucky

he's even doing this for us.

[Door Opens]

[ Music Sting ]

[ Electronic Voice ]

Prepare for total domination !

[Echoing]

Domination, domination.

Y'all ready for this

[Music Stops]

[ Scoffs ]

Great.

Thanks for coming.

We're--

Don't speak.

You. You have weak ankles.

One of your calves

is bigger than the other.

Too much makeup.

Not enough makeup.

What's with the skin ?

Say it with me:
"Sunlight" !

Male cheerleaders.

Enough said.

Smile.

- Don't smile.

- Chicken.

Good general tone

and musculature.

Report those compliments

to your ass before

it gets so big...

it forms its own web site.

And you, I take you

to be the captain,

which means

you'll probably need

more work than anyone.

Look, you don't--

But--

Shh !

No, no, no.

Don't speak. Don't think.

Listen and learn.

I'm a choreographer.

That's what I do.

You... are cheerleaders.

Cheerleaders are dancers

who have gone retarded.

What you do is a tiny,

pathetic subset of dancing.

I will attempt to transform

your robotic routines into poetry...

written with the human body.

Follow me or perish,

sweater monkeys.

I want you to think

of what you ate today.

Got it ? Now cut that in half.

This is called a diet.

Everyone start one today.

Darcy, honey,

you should stop eating.

You see, when you

skip a meal, your body

feeds off its fat stores.

And if you skip enough,

maybe your body

will eat your ass.

Why does everyone

have to go on a diet ?

Because in cheerleading,

we throw people in the air,

and fat people don't go as high.

- Come on, come on.

Lets get back to work !

- [ Towel Snaps ]

Ah !

I want dangerous !

I wanna feel like somebody's

gonna snap their neck!

Spirit fingers !

Give me spirit fingers !

Spirit fingers.

Give me spirit !

Ouch !

What ? I told you

I'd catch you.

Look, I understand

you have underwear

up your ass right now,

but it beats the hell

out of a shattered skull.

Think about it.

Okay, now,

spirit fingers.

Spirit fingers !

And spirit fingers !

- Oh, my God !

- These are not

spirit fingers.

These are spirit fingers.

And these... are gold.

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight.

Screw this.

I did not sign on

for spirit fingers.

Come on !

The spirit fingers are great !

Yeah, whatever.

We are so screwed.

- Hey. What's the matter ?

- Hey.

You don't wanna know.

Ah. Cheer crisis.

Ive just gotten

so bogged down

in all this... crap.

Well, if it's crap,

why do you do it ?

I don't know.

So quit.

Maybe I should.

Yeah, I mean, if you

don't like it anymore.

I didn't say that.

Sounds like it.

I don't know what I want.

I remember back

when I cheered at

my school in Detroit.

You cheered

at your other high school ?

No, I never cheered,

but I know what

you're going through.

And regardless

of all the politics

and the doubts...

and the crap,

you just have to know

that you can do it.

And if it helps,

I know you can.

You do ?

Yeah.

Alright, alright!

I'm ready to make

a fool of myself.

State regionals,

here we come.

Welcome to the world

of competitive

cheerleading.

[Woman Shouting]

High school divisions,

please check the signs.

If youre not here--

Hallowed be Thy name.

Thy kingdom come,

Thy will be done--

Broncos !

Ready ? Okay!

Some of these uniforms

look so skanky.

Whatever.

They're white trash.

Where do they get them ?

Ohh !

Cutter, I'm gonna

kick your ass,

you evil whore !

Get over it, hag !

Oww ! She did not

just hit me !

She's a little kid.

You little--

Get off me !

Leave me alone !

Stop it, Courtney !

Hi. You, yes.

Your head was down.

Your head was down

during that move.

How are you gonna

give a proper score...

if your head is down

during a move ?

Remember, they give

extra points for alacrity

and effulgence.

Did we bring those ?

Oh, no.

Look who's here.

Hi.

We're in trouble.

[Announcer] And now,

making their first appearance

at the U. C.A. California regionals,

the East Compton Clovers !

- Yeah, Clovers !

- [Hip-Hop]

I'm standing here

with five-time national

returning champions,

the Rancho Carne Toros.

[ Cheering ]

Leading the squad this year

is senior Torrance Shipman.

Torrance, one of the things

we've come to expect...

from the Toros over

the last few years is

a highly original routine.

Can we expect

the same this year?

Well,

I think everyone

goes out there

the same way,

being as prepared

as they can be and

just hoping for the best.

Were just glad

to be back here...

and eager to see

what other squads

have come up with.

[Music Sting]

[Electronic Voice]

Prepare for total domination !

[Echoing]

Domination ! Domination !

Isn't that Sparky ?

Thank you,

Rancho Carne Toros,

and good luck.

[Announcer] And now,

the Mighty Muskrats...

Thanks.

of Mesa Cucamonga !

- Spirit fingers.

- They stole our routine !

Yall ready for this

Keep that

Trojan spirit up !

[ Cheer Continues ]

It's the curse.

What ?

The Spirit Stick curse.

Will you

lay off with that ?

There's no curse,

and you're not

going to Hades.

News flash !

Look around.

We are in Hades !

[Man]

Rancho Carne!

You're up next !

[Announcer] And now,

from San Diego, California,

the five-time

national champions,

the Rancho Carne Toros!

Yeah ! Yeah !

[ Cheering ]

I bet this is good.

[Cheering Continues]

[Music Sting]

[Electronic Voice]

Prepare for total domination !

[Echoing]

Domination !

Domination ! Domination !

[Same Music Begins]

Didn't we just

see this routine ?

Yall ready for this

[ Gasping ]

[ Laughing ]

[Music Stops]

- [ Panting ]

- What the f--

[Plastic Bottle

Clattering]

[Announcer]

Ahem.

The Rancho Carne Toros,

ladies and gentlemen.

[Polite Applause]

Go, Toros !

Did they screw up.

That was, um,

interesting.

Nice job !

Y'all shouldve just stuck

with our routines.

- [ Scoffs ]

- Yeah.

- Don't worry. We'll send you

a postcard from nationals.

- Six, seven, eight.

[Announcer]

Next up, the Fighting Beavers

of San Bernardino.

Torrance Shipman ?

Yes.

Tad Freeman, Universal Cheer

Association. We have a problem.

A problem ?

[Freeman] Oh, yes,

a very big problem.

Hey.

I dont know

if you can imagine...

Hey.

the incredible sense of deja vu

I experienced as I was watching

that last routine.

It tends to make me

suspicious--

I wouldnt just now.

What ?

Official cheer business.

Come on. It's me.

Hey, Torrance !

You see, l--

[ Mouthing Words ]

That was smooth.

Real smooth.

I'll see her later.

All righty.

Oh, uh, by the way,

nice spirit fingers.

Yeah.

Well, here's another.

Thanks.

Obviously your Toros

aren't the only squad with

this particular routine.

Does the name

Sparky Polastri

mean anything to you ?

Sparky Polastri ?

Mm-hmm.

Apparently he's been peddling

this same routine up and down

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