Bringing Up Baby Page #4

I imagine that down in Brazil...

- Stop this, Susan.

- Let me show him to you.

Don't go near the door! Dear, dear.

Watch, David.

He'll go right toward the music.

Look at that. Isn't this remarkable?

It loves it, David.

If we put the Victrola in the bathroom,

will it go back in?

Yes, but the music sounds better out here.

Besides, he likes it.

Here it comes.

Now go away! Please go away!

I'm gonna get out of here.

Susan, I don't like leopards.

- Just think of him as a house cat.

- I don't like cats either.

- Stand still. Don't be nervous.

- Make him stand still!

Don't be silly.

You can't make a leopard stand still.

Do something. Turn off that Victrola.

I don't think it's the music. I think it's you.

I think you've found a real friend.

Isn't it affectionate, like a baby kitten?

I never saw anything take such a liking

to anyone. It'd follow you anywhere.

We'll have no trouble

taking it to Connecticut.

My farm in Westlake, Connecticut.

I'm not going to Westlake, Connecticut.

I will not be involved

in any more harebrained schemes.

Imagine Aunt Elizabeth coming here

and running smack into a leopard.

That would be an end to my $1 million.

If you had an aunt who was going to give

you $1 million and she found a leopard...

- in your apartment, what would you do?

- I don't know.

You have to help me.

There are only two things I have to do,

finish my brontosaurus and get married.

Go on, quitter.

It's no good calling me names,

because I won't argue with you anymore.

I don't want anything to do with a leopard.

Go on, Baby, down the stairs.

Good morning.

- Good morning, Professor.

- Good morning.

You'd better change your mind

about coming to Connecticut.

Susan, we settled that question

once and for all.

But what about my leopard?

That's your problem.

It's not all my problem.

Susan, will you please go away?

All right. Since he likes you so much,

I've decided to give him to you.

I won't take him.

You've got him.

Don't go away! I've got the leopard!

Oh, dear, look at that.

No, David,

all I was doing was driving along.

You were standing on the sidewalk yelling,

and looking very silly.

You know very well

you tricked me into this trip.

Look. Eating your car.

Look at the road!

I have a feeling

something horrible is going to happen.

Everything's going to be all right.

I don't care anymore.

Hello. What's the matter,

did you get Ionely?

Susan, if you know any shortcuts,

please take them.

We'll be there in no time.

I just want to deliver this leopard,

take the first train back to town...

and forget

the last 24 hours ever happened.

Now, what's wrong with the last 24 hours?

I've had a wonderful time.

Susan, I don't know.

You look at everything upside down.

I've never known anyone quite like you.

You've just had a bad day, that's all.

That's a masterpiece of understatement.

Look, I can't discuss anything with you...

with Baby breathing

down the back of my neck.

Get down. Go on. Now lie down.

Susan, duck!

Never hang on to a leopard's tail!

Sing, David!

Anyway, I still insist that he was

right in the middle of the road.

I've never hit anything

that was in the right place.

That wagon was on the side of the road.

It was straight ahead of me.

That's why I hit it.

- What time is it?

- We'll be there in no time.

We just have to stop at Westlake

and get some meat for Baby.

Why, he's already had an assortment

of ducks and chickens.

Not to mention a couple of swans.

All feathers.

Yeah, very expensive feathers.

I don't see how any pair of swans

could cost $150. That was a gyp.

If you'd run, as I told you to,

we shouldn't have had to pay for them.

Susan, when a man is wrestling a leopard

in the middle of a pond...

he's in no position to run.

There it is, David. Please hurry up.

Why, of all places,

when you have a leopard in the car...

did you stop in a town

where there's a circus?

I didn't stop because there's a circus,

but Baby's going to be hungry.

Please hurry.

If Baby wakes up, we'll be in trouble.

I don't suppose it will make any difference,

but you're parked in front of a fireplug.

I know it. Don't worry.

I'll take care of everything. You go ahead.

50, $1.00. Thank you.

Yes. What can I do for you?

I want 30 pounds of sirloin steak, please.

Did you say 30 pounds?

- Yes, that's right, 30 pounds.

- How will you have it cut?

- Just in one piece.

- You going to roast it or broil it?

- It's going to be eaten raw.

- Yeah.

Hey, lady. That's a fireplug.

I know it.

- It's against the law to park alongside one.

- I know it.

- Come here.

- Who, me? Why?

I am Constable Slocum.

Is that so?

- How do you do? I'm Susan Vance.

- How do you do?

I don't care who you are, I just want you

to know you can't park beside a fireplug.

- I was just watching the parade.

- You were?

I suppose you get free seats to the circus.

Elmer and I usually get a...

That has nothing to do with it.

I'm just going to give you a ticket.

Thank you very much.

I'd love to go to the circus...

but you better keep your tickets

because I'm busy tonight.

Yeah? Well, it ain't that kind of a ticket.

Jeepers.

Young lady, it might interest you

to know that you're under arrest.

Oh, well. I mean, why?

For parking alongside of a fireplug.

I'm not parked next to a fireplug.

Yeah? What do you call that?

You mean that you think

that this is my car?

Ain't it?

No. That's my car.

Why didn't you say so in the first place?

You didn't ask me.

Say, do you grind this up

before you eat it?

This isn't for me. It's for Baby.

For who?

Hurry up, Baby. Get in!

- But...

- Jump on!

That isn't your car!

No, but it's my leopard!

- Wait a minute! That's my car!

- What are you yelling about?

They stole my car. Last night,

she tried to steal my wife's purse.

Don't stand there.

Do something! Catch them!

Well, Elmer, bless me. Bring back that car!

- I'm glad we finally got here

- Isn't it wonderful?

We could put him in that box

Wait, don't open the door

- until you close those

- I think that is a good idea, too

I hope he won't get out

Stand by that door, and I'll open this one

He'll just walk along, I hope

Come on, Baby. Go on

In the stall, Baby

Come on, baby,

right in there, right in there

Right in there

Now everything is quite all right

No, everything is not all

Everything is not all right, Susan. Maybe

for you, but I've got to get to New York.

Now one thing's settled,

you start worrying about something else.

One of us should worry!

On top of all this, we've stolen a car!

That's all right.

I'll send it back. I don't like it, anyway.

I suppose you'd like me to leave it

with the constable on my way back.

No, you might be arrested.

Besides, it's a hot car.

You're going to file

the numbers off the engine.

No, I'll have the gardener take it back

after it's dark.

- Stop it!

- You're shedding.

Now, where's the telephone?

- Out that door.

- That's all I want to know.

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