Broken Page #3

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I was just about to say

that you should...

(MIKE) I'm actually going!

So there you go!

- (KASIA) Where are you going now?

- F***ing home to my manky flat.

(KASIA) A**hole.

I mean, why the hell

are you with a person

unless you plan

to stay with that person, you know?

- (MIKE) F***ing out of here!

- (SCREAMS INDISTINCTLY)

(KASIA) F***ing coward. A**hole.

(SIGHS)

Are you and Mike splitting up?

Go to bed.

(KASIA) And the things he said to me...

- You know what he called me?

- What?

- Obsessive f***ing b*tch.

- Mm.

F*** you!

I'm just so worn out with it, Archie,

you know?

Well, we could sue him, I suppose.

- Yeah, for what?

- I don't know.

Dereliction of premarital duty.

Very funny.

How about just for being a dick?

- Yeah, we could get him for that.

- A lazy dick.

He values his freedom too much,

his comforts.

Well, most men do.

That's why we need that push.

I've been pushing long enough.

Four years.

I'm 35 years old, you know?

- Really?

- F*** off. I can't wait any more

I just can't.

- (ARCHIE) Is that my wine?

- No.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

What are you doing here?

Just thought I'd knock about.

Jed isn't here.

(SKUNK) So angry.

And she was crying and...

- I think she really loved him.

- Yeah?

(SKUNK) I think she wanted them

to get married. Or buy a house.

- Or have a baby maybe.

- Right.

- I would have married him.

- Yeah?

Mm.

(CRANE WHIRRING)

Oh, wow.

Come on!

Oh, wow.

Dillon!

This is really cool. It's like...

Come in.

- You're a really cool girl.

- Thanks.

For a lesbian.

(CHUCKLES)

Do you want a Nik Nak?

No, thanks.

Must be a pain

not being able to eat what you want.

Do you want to be my girlfriend?

Okay.

Can I have a kiss?

M... Maybe later.

All right, but later

my mouth's gonna be all Nik-y Nak-y.

All right. But not a splasher.

- A what?

- No swirly tongues.

(CHUCKLES) Okay.

(JED) Look, you've got pretty ears.

It doesn't hurt that much.

- (LAUGHS) Get off. It hurts.

- Stop it.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Get your arms out.

- There, one up your nose.

- No, no. (LAUGHS)

Look, if you keep moving your arms,

I can't give you a lovely nose piercing.

- Get off.

- You look so pretty.

Give me your eyebrow.

- There we go.

- (SKUNK GURGLES)

(KASIA) All right, guys.

Come on, bed.

- But we're doing our books.

- (SKUNK LAUGHS)

Bed.

(SKUNK WHINES) Dad.

Come on, do as you're told.

Big day tomorrow.

Night, Dad.

- Good night, love.

- Good night.

Very attractive.

- (JED GROWLS)

- Yeah, all right, yeah. Good, yeah.

(JED CHUCKLES)

Hey, where's mine?

(BOTH) Night, Kasia.

Very funny.

- And don't forget teeth!

- (SKUNK LAUGHS)

You want a drink?

(JED) And if you're wearing trainers,

they'll stomp on them. Bang!

And if your hair's too long,

what they'll do is

they'll grab it from behind.

- All right. Stop!

- And they'll just start...

(SIGHS) You need to know

about this stuff, Skunk.

The better prepared you are,

the better you'll do.

So, what they do

is they grab your hair from behind

and they just start snipping away

with a pair of scissors.

- So you pick your moment.

- Yeah.

And you let them know

the arrangement.

Yeah... What?

- The deal.

- Right.

And then they know where they stand.

- Yeah.

- Which is...

- Nowhere.

- Absolutely f***ing nowhere.

(LAUGHING)

- It's funnier later on.

- Okay.

(KASIA) What about Rachel?

What about her?

(KASIA) If she walked in right now,

would you take her back?

You must be joking.

- Not even for the kids?

- Why?

So they could live in fear

of her walking out again

whenever she felt like it?

No, thank you very much.

They wouldn't even know

who she was.

Poor Archie.

Poor Kasia.

I'm off to bed.

All right, then.

- Good night.

- Good night.

You can follow me up if you want.

(SIGHS)

(SKUNK) Dad?

Dad!

Why aren't you in bed?

Jed said I was gonna get

my head flushed down the toilet.

- By who?

- In school.

- And you believed him?

- And punched in the stomach.

Yeah, I believe him. He said it's...

He said it's tradition.

I was told the very same thing

when I was your age.

- That's the tradition.

- What is?

Putting the fear of God

into the first years.

Nothing's gonna happen to you.

Come on, then. Up you get.

- Night.

- Good night.

Dad, will you lie next to me

till I go to sleep?

Dad!

(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)

My God, Mike!

- It's Mr Kiernan in school, Skunk.

- Oh.

- Not Mike.

- Oh, right.

Well, in that case

you can call me Miss Cunningham.

(CHUCKLES) Fair enough.

Okay, everyone. My name is Mr Kiernan.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)

Uh, Miss Cunningham.

Yes, Mr Kiernan?

Um, how is Kasia?

Kasia's fine.

Will you, um, say hi to her for me?

Do you have a message back?

I do.

Dick.

Excuse me?

It's what she said.

(FIONA) How many did you get?

- (SKUNK) A hundred.

- Sh*t.

And one of the long ones.

"I must not use

inappropriate language..."

What the hell did you just do that for?

Sit down. Give me some money.

- What?

- Some money.

- Why?

- 'Cause I want some.

And if you don't, my sister's

gonna kick the f***ing sh*t out of you.

- (FIONA) How much?

- All you got. Get it all out.

You as well.

Go on, quick! Hurry up!

Now, every week, from next week on,

I want 2 from each of you.

What?

That's what it costs

to stay off the list.

- (FIONA) What list?

- The list of f***ing death, b*tch.

Here's your sh*t f***ing loser's

out-of-date f***ing mobile.

- It's broken.

- (FIONA) What?

The cow. The absolute f***ing ugly...

Go on.

- How many did you get?

- Two hundred.

Must be one of the bad ones.

Can I get a new phone?

- You've got a phone.

- It broke.

- Can I get a new one?

- No.

Why not?

You should have taken better care

of the old one.

(SKUNK) It would make me so happy.

Quiet, Skunk.

I'd just be the happiest child.

I'm trying to work, love.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

# I'd be delirious! #

it's just not fair.

- I don't care.

- You don't care about me.

Yeah, he doesn't care about me.

(MIMICS TELEPHONE RINGING)

Go away, Skunk!

He hates me. That's what he said.

- Please.

- Stop it.

Please, Dad.

- He wishes I was dead.

- What?

- Nothing.

- (BEEPS)

Please!

Emily!

I don't want to hear it again.

Do you understand me?

Do you understand me?!

(JED, MOCKINGLY) Emily.

(DILLON) What time is it?

(SKUNK) Ten past ten.

(SKUNK) Do you think

he's learnt his lesson yet?

- (GIRL YELPS)

- Who's this?

(SUSAN LAUGHS)

(SKUNK) Susan Oswald.

Slut.

No, she's not.

- Told you.

- (UNZIPPING)

(SIGHS)

They call that fell-at-io.

(SUSAN MOANING)

I have to go home.

(KASIA) Where have you been?

Why didn't you call?

I don't have a phone.

You little brat!

How dare you do what you just did!

Sit down!

(DIALLING)

Yes, she's here. She's fine.

(SKUNK) Sorry, Dad.

(BREATHES HEAVILY)

(SKUNK) Dad.

My levels are off.

(ARCHIE) You can never forget

how important this is.

I know.

I know it's routine, I know it's hard...

- Say it's okay, Dad.

- What?

I said I was sorry.

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