Bronco Billy Page #6

Billy would have been there.

He could've stopped it.

Boy, are you blind?

Ever since she's been with us

our luck's gone rotten!

You're mean.

You're just a mean old ornery old cuss

and you don't like nobody!

Don't you just love these wide open spaces

where the deer and the antelope roam?

Boss, the boys wanted me to talk to you.

Look, Doc, you can tell the boys

that nobody's gonna get laid off.

We'll pull in our belts

and pull up our boots.

We'll see this through together.

We've been through worse than this.

I'm sure they'd be glad to hear that.

I know I am.

But...

You got a chicken bone in your throat?

It's the boys.

They want you to get rid of Miss Lily.

They think she's bad luck.

Who do they think they are

telling me what to do?

It's my show!

I do the hiring and firing around here!

Anybody that don't like it,

they can pick up their pay and get out!

You know, things ain't so good

since she joined us.

I know, but that poor little gal's

been through hell.

I didn't like her too well myself

at the beginning, but...

she's coming around

to my way of thinking now.

What are we gonna do? We can't put on

no show without a big tent.

I know that.

What shall I tell the boys?

Tell them we're gonna rob a train.

Okay.

"Rob a train"?

But how are we gonna stop a train?

Stopping the train is easy.

It's carting off all that money

that's gonna be the hard part.

No outfit's tried robbing a train

in over 90 years.

They were smart, that's why.

You people are crazy!

You could all go to jail for the rest

of your lives for robbing a train!

Appreciate your concern.

You may be right about us being crazy...

but we're at the end of our rope.

This is not a game! People could get hurt!

Nobody will get hurt.

You don't even know if

it's the right train!

If you want out, just say so.

You're all gonna get caught!

I'd say Miss Lily's out.

You're living in a dream world.

There are no more cowboys and Indians!

That's in the past!

I was raised in a one-room tenement

in New Jersey.

As a kid, I never even saw a cowboy,

much less the wide open spaces...

except when I could

scrounge up a quarter for a picture show.

I was a shoe salesman

until I was 31 years old.

Deep down in my heart

I always wanted to be a cowboy.

One day I laid down my shoehorn...

and swore I'd never

live in the city again.

You only live once.

You got to give it your best shot.

Don't do it, Billy.

I'll give you the money.

That'd be a neat trick,

considering I haven't

paid you since you started working for me.

I have money. Lots of it!

If you say you do, I believe you.

But I'm head ramrod here

and I've already made my decision.

You all know what you have to do.

Get ready.

Wait for me!

Cowboys and Indians.

Of course, dear.

Billy, where are we?

I've got an idea

that might get us back in business.

What is this place?

It's a home for the criminally insane.

They should love your act.

Dr. Canterbury, you look spright.

- This is Miss Lily here.

- Hello.

- You remember Doc.

- My friend and colleague.

Get back to work, you nut!

I'm not nuts!

I'd like to see Dr. Canterbury.

How would you like to take a trip

to the yellow room?

Could I talk with you for a moment?

I need a favor, badly.

Sure. You know I'm a good listener.

I'll be right back.

My diagnosis is that you have the worst

ailment known to man: No money.

How can I help?

How can my staff and my patients

best serve you and your people?

I know you have a giant sewing room...

and your patients sew American flags

for the military.

If it's a flag you want, you've got one.

No, it's a tent that I need.

Without it, I'm afraid, it's the end

of Bronco Billy Wild West Show.

You and your friends have come here

year in year out, always a free show.

I don't know why, but you do come.

Now, after all you've done for us...

it would be a pleasure for us

to do this for you.

But I have a price.

You name it.

I want you to teach me

how to twirl a six-shooter.

You got that, old pard.

All right.

You and your gang can hole up

in the guest wing. Come in.

And you can take your meals

with the staff, or the patients...

whichever you feel most comfortable with.

This place gives me the creepers

every time we come here.

Some of these people in here

are just as sane as you or I.

- What're you talking about?

- That ain't saying much.

They've just had a tough break, that's all.

Yeah, they were born sane

in a crazy world.

Get your gear, buckaroos.

We're back in business.

How long we got to stay here?

As long as it takes to get the tent made.

How long will that take?

If you have something better to do, do it.

Just asking, Boss.

This is the Rose Room.

It has two single beds

and a black-and-white TV.

Lefty, Leonard.

Why is it called the Rose Room?

Because it's always been called

the Rose Room.

At least the rates are reasonable.

This is the Carnation Room.

It has a single bed and a radio.

I have returned home.

And this is one

of our most requested rooms...

by guests who frequently come

to Mineral Wells.

By the way, you are the first two Indians

ever allowed to stay in the guest wing.

- What's the name of this room?

- It doesn't have one.

We call this our Honeymoon Room.

You can't be serious?

Dr. Canterbury ordered me to put you

and your wife in this room.

- Wife?

- Come, my dear.

I forgot to tell them about the view.

Everything's coming up roses.

Come on over here

and give Bronco Billy a big kiss.

Don't you find anything

about your life bizarre?

The only thing strange I find

is that you and I haven't made love yet.

Let go of me.

I'm crazy about you. Kiss me.

You're as nutty as the fruitcakes

in this place.

You love me, don't you?

I find your timing less than appropriate.

Is it that time of the month?

No, it is not that time of the month!

Kiss me, then.

Leave me alone!

That's all you ever think about!

You said I'd know when the time is right.

I don't know it yet!

There must be 13 year-olds

who are more woman than you are.

At least I'm not a phony cowboy

from New Jersey!

What's it take to melt

that heart of stone of yours?

I'd like to see the boss.

He's not here.

When you see him,

would you tell him I want to talk to him?

Running Water...

- Do you have a moment?

- Sure.

So this is the honeymoon room.

Not much of a honeymoon.

Why does that man make me so angry

every time we're together?

The boss is a funny guy.

He's like all men, a

big kid in a man's body.

But why do I hate him so?

The Apaches have a word for that.

It's called love.

That's what the Apaches call what I have?

When I first met Big Eagle...

I hated his guts.

He was so dedicated to preserving

the heritage of his ancestors...

I felt rejected.

Late at night, when everyone else is asleep

he's up working on his book.

Big Eagle is a writer?

He hasn't had anything published,

but he's written three books.

My God!

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