Brother Nature Page #2

Mom! Mom!

What now? Mom, I got a splinter.

Oh! Jesus, Spencer,

that looks awful.

Probably going to scar.

I'm going to get some disinfectant.

Mel, watch them.

Love you too, babe.

Oh! It's so cute!

Are you in love already or what?

I am. I am.

They're here!

Hey, Roger!

How are you?

Good. Good.

So good to see you!

Tell me everything.

What's going on?

Okay. Well, aunt Pam is

going through menopause...

Roger!

Hi, Roger.

How are you? Very good.

Very happy to be here.

So are we, hon. And

dinner's almost ready.

Oh! You're not

a vegetarian, are you?

Oh! No.

Okay, good.

Because look at this beast.

It looks so good I could nut!

Right.

Did your mom just

say, "I could nut"?

Yeah. It's her fun spin

on "I'm going nuts."

She's said it

since we were kids.

Don't worry, she doesn't

mean it the other way.

Ugh!

Great. I have lake hair. I

just threw on this sweatshirt.

I look freakish. I didn't realize

I'd be meeting him like this, Gwen.

You look great to me.

Okay, well, that's a lie.

I'm Pam.

Hi. Roger.

Of course he's lying,

he's a politician.

Gwen. What are you doing

with all my taxes?

Just lining the pockets

of corporate America.

Oh, yeah? More like...

Should be cargo pants.

I'm sorry?

You said "pockets"...

I thought... A lot of...

I'm Mel.

Hey. Roger.

Hey, little man.

What is wrong with you?

He got a splinter, guy!

I'm so sorry. Come on,

honey, let's go inside.

- He's only 11, guy.

- I mean, really!

I didn't see the splinter. I thought

he was going for like a low five...

I thought he was

going for a low five.

So did I.

Should I go in there?

No. No. No. Give them

a moment to cool down.

Because Mel and Pam are kind of

angry people. They're hateful.

No way!

He's here!

He's here!

Don't leave!

I'm coming!

Oh, yeah!

Hey, man.

He's here! Whoo!

Watch your feet,

you've got open toes on.

Hey, buddy, I'm Roger.

Yes! I knew it!

I'm so happy you're here!

Hi, Gwen.

Thank you for bringing me

a new toy to play with.

Okay!

Man, I'm so happy you're here!

I'm doing it again!

I know. Just go easy.

Sorry. They haven't

even unpacked yet.

On it.

You, with me. We carry heavy

things, for this is man's work.

It's Tim Allen.

Home improvement?

Oh! Sure. "I don't

think so, Tim."

You're my Al.

Let's do this. Come on!

Great show.

Oh, yeah!

Hey, did you get

my friend request?

Yeah.

I noticed you didn't accept it.

Oh, yeah. I haven't

really had a chance.

You got time now.

Yeah. Can we

unpack first?

Totally.

I love unpacking.

Oh, man, it's just so good to finally

meet you, you know. I got that.

How long have you and Gwen

been together now?

Uh. Almost two years.

Two years!

Oh, wow!

And at last we are united.

Good things take time, I guess.

I got that.

Sorry. I should know, man. I've been

dating Margie for what, five years now?

Still don't see a ring on it.

Hey, man, just don't beat me

to the proposal punch. Okay?

Because I got seniority.

And it'll make me

look Nada so good.

Spanish.

You speak Spanish?

It was. Yeah.

And then I went like that...

For the sombrero.

Yeah.

Don't get me wrong. Margie

is most def the one.

Them Turley girls, they yummy.

They're lovely women.

I just want to do

it right, you know?

I think everybody has to propose

when it feels best for them.

Beautiful.

I'll dap on that.

Whoa!

No, man. Dap it.

I'm a dapper.

Pew, pew!

Oh!

You got me.

Shot you in the face.

Would never do it.

Would never do it.

Hey, let me grab that for you.

No, I got it.

No, let me grab it.

Okay. Thank you.

Okay, everyone, meat's ready!

Whoa!

Look at this. Honey, it's so good.

Beautiful!

Salt and pepper.

Dibs on the seat next to Roger!

It's only a week.

It's only a week.

Baby Gwen!

Oh! Don't look

at that. Oh, god!

No!

You're so cute though,

I want to kiss it.

Hey, Rog.

Hey, Jerry. Great.

Oh! I see you found

the wall of Gill.

Oh, yeah, Gill is the fish.

Oh! Largest trout in the lake.

He's kind of an unofficial

town mascot, too. Oh!

Everybody in the family's

caught him. Look.

There's Melster

and Todd. Pam.

He's gigantic!

Yeah.

I mean, he's like

the size of a small...

'84 Olympics.

Is that you?

Mmm-hmm.

Looking good, Jerry.

Almost medaled but

the French beat us.

Ah.

They were kind of so

smug about it, too.

They started kissing their

medals in front of me. Uh...

You aren't French, are you?

No, sir.

Attaboy.

Yeah.

Hey, let's eat.

Check this out.

I also prefer to

eat my dessert first.

No, actually, grandma Hibby

has severe sciatica. Oh.

So I put together a completely

legal "herbal" snack pack.

Special candy bars and

chips and stuff, you know.

All with a little THC,

a little...

You feeling good, Hibby?

Flyin'.

I saw her talking to an

old boot the other day.

Nah, I'm just kidding.

Gwen, how'd you meet

the high-five king?

It was new year's Eve. Neither

one of us had anyone to kiss.

So I told him if we started at 11:59, our

first kiss would last for two years.

How could I say no?

Yeah, but it wasn't a two-year kiss,

it was probably like a minute.

Hey, everybody,

can I have the floor?

Uh...

Being the baby in a family

of six sisters, you know,

I've always wanted a brother.

I guess I was a good boy, because

my wish finally came true.

Roger rabbit over here.

Uno more thing, sir.

Rich Spanish guy, um...

I actually have some big news.

Margie's pregnant. I told

you she was showing.

No, Pam.

I'm not pregnant.

No. Guys, I'm leaving

my job at the camp.

What? But it's for

a good reason.

I'm going to be taking

a higher paying gig

as a program director

at the new youth center...

In Seattle!

What? Are you moving

to Seattle?

Yes. It was so hard

not to say anything.

You're dead to me.

You're dead to me.

Get used to seeing

this face, sir.

Because you are going to

be seeing it all the time!

All the time!

All the time!

Everybody!

All the time!

All the time!

So, you guys are in this cabin.

And that one is

Todd and Margie's.

You know, I forgot my satchel back

in the house, I'll be right back.

Did he just say "satchel"?

Unfortunately, yes.

Ooh!

Oh, no.

My god. Look,

they're so cute.

Oh! I want to hold

them close to my face.

No, you do not.

You know that their sacks

are primed to spray

and that scent can

linger for months!

Todd, go get a box

and some syrup.

Got it. Look at the little one.

He's my friend.

Ooh!

His name's Langdon.

No. Don't name them.

Don't get attached.

I'm not naming them.

That is his name.

I'm sensing it.

Oh, no, it's the mom.

Nobody. Move.

Got the satchel!

Okay, on three. Jerry, I'm

standing right here, buddy.

Cathy, I am so sorry.

I will pay for whatever cleaning

service you need for the cabin...

Oh! Stop it, please. That thing

needed renovating anyway.

- Luckily, we have two.

- Look!

- Dream phone!

- Oh, my god.

Does that thing still work?

You tell me.

- Phone call.

- I think your face is cute.

Well, your room is all set.

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