Bruce Almighty Page #23

Grace is helping one of the kids, when she notices something

outside the window. It's a cloud formation that strangely

looks like BRUCE (in profile) HOLDING HANDS WITH GRACE. She

reacts as the imagery melts away into a very faint "FORGIVE

HIM."

EXT. SMALL WONDERS DAY CARE - LATER

Grace is talking with one of the other teachers. The kids,

playing dodgeball in the background, laugh and scream louder

and louder. Grace turns and sees...

Bruce getting pelted by multiple balls.

BRUCE:

Okay, surrender, surrender.

He walks over to Grace.

BRUCE:

Hi.

99.

GRACE:

Hi..

BRUCE:

I, ah, have my first anchor

tonight.

GRACE:

That's great. I hope it goes well

for you.

He's hit in the head by a ball. Grace can't help but smiles

Bruce leaps at the opportunity.

BRUCE:

I miss you.

(off her silence)

I just took the first step, shot

myself out on the ledge, awaiting

vulnerably your response.

GRACE:

. . . I don't know what to say.

BRUCE:

How about you love me and you'll

take me back.

GRACE:

No, Bruce.

BRUCE:

Come on, what about all the signs?

GRACE:

What? How do you know about that?

Did you talk to Debbie?

BRUCE:

(beat)

Would it help if I told you I acted

like an ass?

Martin is standing nearby.

MARTIN:

Hey, you said ass.

BRUCE:

It's okay as long as you mean a

donkey. I didn't add "hole." It's

only bad when you say "ass-ho--

100.

GRACE:

Alright, inside, Martin.

(to the others)

Okay everyone, inside.

The kids race in. Grace starts to follow.

BRUCE:

Grace, please. None of this seems *

right without you. *

(off her reaction) *

Is that a glimmer of hope I see? *

GRACE:

I have to go... *

She starts off. . .

BRUCE:

Wait.

Bruce DRAMATICALLY RAISES A HAND TOWARD GRACE, like putting a

love spell on her.

BRUCE:

Now how do you feel?

She looks at him, oddly.

GRACE:

...Are you out of your mind? Have

you been drinking?

BRUCE:

Drin kin g? Sur e. I'm dru nk wit h

POWER.

Bruce RAISES BOTH HANDS IN FULL HEXING FASHION...

BRUCE:

...LOVE ME1!!

GRACE:

(a beat)

You need help.

She heads back inside. Bruce throws his hands in the air,

frustrated.

EXT. SMALL WONDER'S PARKING LOT - MOMENTS LATER

Bruce heads for his car as he sees a two guys in PRISON SUITS

(from the prison yard) drive off with it.

101.

BRUCE:

Hey11 That's my car!!

INT. BRUCE'S CAR - CONTINUOUS

The PRISONERS drive off laughing.

PRISONER #1

Ha, nice wheels, huh?

BRUCE sits up in the back seat.

BRUCE:

Thou shalt not steal.

The prisoners JUMP.

BRUCE:

Car, show them the way out.

Instantly, the car doors fly open and the seats tilt sideways

dumping the prisoners.

BRUCE:

What is wrong with the world?

INT. EYEWITNESS NEWS STATION - TV STUDIO

ON A TV MONITOR:

NEWS ANCHOR #1

The Dow skyrocketed again today and

with a new influx of paper

millionaires, analysts are warning

of a potential run on banks...

We see a stock graph superimposed on the screen with a

ludicrous jump straight up off the charts.

CHANNEL CHANGES TO:

NEWSANCHOR #2

The scene nearly turned violent

when hundreds of disgruntled

Buffalo residents protested the

results of lasts weeks fluke

lottery results...

CHANNEL CHANGES TO:

102.

NEWS ANCHOR #3

...another 37 arrests today at the

Beasley Construction Site for

indecent exposure. . .

We see women getting pulled away one by one into police vans,

after they flash their tops. In the background, a "Girl's

Gone Wild" van is there rolling tape of each flashing.

ON JACK:

JACK:

The world's gone mad.

Jack clicks off the monitor. Bruce hustles in from make-up.

An air of forced confidence about him. Nothing and no one is

going to ruin his big moment.

JACK:

Oh, there you are. Your big debut.

How you feeling?

BRUCE:

You know what? I'm good. The show

must go on.

Bruce sits in the anchor desk, breathes in the reality.

SUSAN:

(whispers)

Bruce, if I had any idea Grace was

going to be there last night...

BRUCE:

Susan, you didn't do anything *

wrong. In fact, I found the *

moment rather pleasurable. *

Susan shudders, tries to compose himself.

SUSAN:

(flustered)

Oh, really. . . that's nice.

JACK:

Okay, the Sabers just won the

Stanley Cup. It's getting pretty

crazy out there. We're going to

kick live to Fred at the stadium.

Oh, and Bruce, you won the pool

again. Exact score, dead on.

Twenty-three to one, who would have

thought.

103.

bXA JACK

This is it, you good?

Bruce nods, straightens in his chair, prepares for his dream

ON THE MONITOR:

The Eyewitness News opening plays, then fades away to Bruce

and Susan.

SUSAN:

I'm Susan Ortega.

BRUCE:

I'm Bruce Nolan and here's what's

m ak i n g n e ws --

And the screen goes to STATIC. Lights dim in the studio.

JACK:

What happened? What the hell

happened?

The Stage Manager listens to his wire.

STAGE MANAGER:

We lost the signal. It's another

power surge.

JACK:

Aw, geez. Ever since that damn

asteroid hit.

The power comes back up.

STAGE MANAGER:

We're back.

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