Bubble Boy Page #3

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...only true believers,

to the kingdom of heaven.

And those who reject him

will mutate...

...and burn eternally

on planet PX-41...

...or PX-42 if they run out of room.

If there are no further questions,

let's move on to the buffet.

So they kicked you out of the bus in the middle

of the desert to die like some perro?

Yup.

- Where you headed?

- Niagara Falls.

I gotta get there by Saturday to stop

Chloe from getting married to the wrong man.

Let's cut the vato, huh, ese?

I wasn't planning on

cutting the vato, no.

Somebody run off with your old lady,

legally you're allowed to cut him.

She... She wasn't technically

my old lady.

I just never, um...

I just never told her

how I felt.

When I was your age,

I was in love with a woman.

- Debbie? - No.

- Oh, Danielle.

Wildfire!

Oh, Wildfire!

She looks really nice.

Yeah, but she left me

for some other vato. You know.

Real buttoned-down "I gotta get a job"

kind of vato, you know?

To this day, ese,

I regret not finding him...

...and cutting his heart out

in a really violent way.

Don't be like me, ese.

Don't live in regret.

We'll be riding Wildfire

We'll be riding Wildfire

I'm okay.

- Look at the lights!

- This is Las Vegas, Jimmy!

Wow!

Paris!

- That's beautiful, ain't it?

- And New York!

- That's big New York.

- This is amazing, Slim.

- Go faster! Go faster!

- You like wind in your hair?

Yeah.

"We have the loosest sluts."

That's "slots".

I'll show you how to play

the slot machines.

We can win some gas money

so we can get to Niagara Falls.

- All right, chicas!

- Chicas!

This is amazing!

This town never goes to sleep.

We're gonna do some partying!

Jimmy! Where are you, baby?

My baby Jimmy?

Here we go. Oh, yeah.

Coming through. Excuse us.

Come on.

Talk to me, babies.

Looking good!

Yes, all right.

- Slim?

- Yeah.

What's it like?

I could tell you what it was

like with me and Wildfire.

1200 CCs of American steel

vibrating between your legs. Oh!

I'm talking fourth gear.

4,000 RPMs!

That sounds amazing.

- Hors d'oeuvres?

- No, thanks.

I got my own.

Okay. Last one.

- You go for it.

- Oh, no, I couldn't.

Go on. You want to win the money

for our trip, don't you?

But what if I lose again?

You didn't get out of that bubble room

to play it safe, did you?

- You're right.

- Go for it.

I'm tapped out.

I'm gonna go steal some quarters

from that blind lady.

- Slim, I don't think...

- Wait here.

I gotta go.

I only have two days to...

When we're done in this casino,

we'll check out...

Wait! No, Slim! I gotta go!

I only have two days left!

- It's gonna be awesome.

- I only have two days left.

I didn't like leaving Slim

without saying goodbye...

...but I knew the vato

would understand.

The wedding was two days away and I

only had 12 CCs of American steel...

...to get me there.

Don't think I can't see you gawking

at those neon boobies.

Just keep your eye

on the road, mister.

Hey, have you seen

my little buddy?

He's got, like, frizzy hair

and he's in a bubble.

Hey, what's up?

Have you seen this

little bubble guy, man?

I wanted to show the little vato

some fun. I didn't mean it.

Excuse. Hola.

We're a bit lost.

Uh, could you tell us the way to...

...Niagara Falls?

I beg your pardon?

'Cause that's where my buddy was headed

when you left him in the desert to die.

Come back! You Bright and Shinies! Come

back and get shiny on my knife, huh?

This looks like Area 51.

Holy mother of sh*t, Morton!

What is that?

A space creature?

An alien?

Oh, my God! Jimmy!

Jimmy!

Jimmy!

Stop the car! Jimmy!

I wasn't quite sure

just how I'd gotten on board...

...but I'd always dreamed

of riding a train.

Thank goodness

the worst was behind me.

Or so I thought.

Look, he's awake.

What are we going to do?

- Dr Phreak is gonna hear you!

- What?

He's gonna hear you.

You gotta hide.

What did you say?

He said be quiet or

the doctor will hear you.

Who are you?

They call me the Human Sasquatch.

What's your real name?

Um, Clark?

So what's your deal?

Why are you in a bubble?

To protect me from germs.

I was born without any immunities,

so even a single one could kill me.

But your doctor

would know all about that.

- Be quiet! He's gonna come!

- He's not your average doctor.

He's Dr Phreak.

We're all a part of his

New Travelling Phreak Show.

- He owns us.

- Owns you?

- Shh! - Be quiet! Here comes

Dr Phreak! - He's an ex-con.

If he find out you're in this train,

he'll own you too.

Look!

Now you did it, Bubble Butt.

- Here he comes! Run for your life! Run!

- He's a vicious brute.

You're Dr Phreak?

- Why, he's so mini!

- Mini?

Me? Mini?

I'm not mini!

I'm not mini!

Not! Not! Not!

I'm not mini!

Who the hell are you?

- He's the bubble boy.

- Yeah. - Shut your beak!

- What are you doing out of your coop?

- I shut up.

You know, I could use

some fresh meat in my show.

Why don't you hop your little

bubble butt back on that train?

Uh, thanks, but, um...

I gotta get to Niagara Falls by Saturday

to stop Chloe from getting married.

That's so... so beautiful.

- I, too, once loved another.

- You did?

For ten minutes.

Then I kicked her ass out of the car.

Okay, well, I gotta get going.

Going?

What are you gonna do?

You're a freak, and I should know.

That's my business.

No decent girl's gonna want

to marry a bubble freak.

Once you get that through your thick,

freaky skull, then give me a call.

What's wrong with being a freak?

- Doctor?

- Is he okay?

- I didn't mean to...

- He looks sweet when he's not yelling.

You... You've killed him.

- What are we going to do?

- Good luck.

Bye!

- Heads up, Bubble!

- Okay, bye!

Get your own bags!

What do you think I am, a bellhop?

Hey, where are you guys going?

- Uh, we're going with you, Dr Bubble.

- We're going with you.

Dr Bubble? No, no, no, I...

You... You guys are free.

You can do whatever you want now.

- We're free!

- We're free. Free as a bird.

- On to Niagara Falls!

- Rock and roll all the way!

Look, you guys, um,

I gotta do this alone.

- Oh, yeah.

- Bye!

It sure was nice of the train man

to loan me his vehicle...

...but if I was ever gonna make it

to the wedding on time...

...I was gonna have to find

something with a motor.

Oh, my God!

He ain't eating meat.

Can you all believe it?

It's tofu! Tofu!

Excuse me.

Uh, could anybody give me a ride?

Tofu gave me such gas!

Bloody red meat!

Rare! Rare American meat!

You know, that's... that's the

stupidest-looking hat I've ever seen.

- It's adorable! It's adorable!

- Hey! Hey!

Stop picking on him.

Oh!

Look it. Look here.

- I don't want any trouble. I was just...

- Really?

- Sissy beach ball!

- Why are you in that bubble, boy, huh?

Well, um, because I was born

without any immunities and I...

Immunities?

What the hell are immunities?

Well, I ain't sticking

around to find out!

- Me neither.

- What?

Everybody out!

- He's got immunities!

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